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Author Topic: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread  (Read 1259 times)

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Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« on: August 17, 2014, 02:58:31 PM »
Hey guys,

This feedback thread is going to be very important, possibly one of the most important that we've had.  We tried something a little different with this show, and we're really interested in hearing what did and didn't work for you, so please let us know.

Here's the show:

http://SHOOTproject.com/revolution/128.html

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2014, 03:15:46 PM »
I really enjoyed the main event. I enjoy the other style as well, but this short and compact match is easy to read and highlights the impact parts of the match. I might miss the build up a bit, but maybe the PPVs can have the move-by-move style or something.

Other than that, not much else to say. Paul Jarvis is back, and Team Alpha-Bravo might be able to give another go around, and I did not see the ending to the six man coming at all, so that was exciting.

Great work.

EDIT: THIS IS WHY I LOVE JEFF'S SEGMENTS:

"THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!

INSANITY AND JOY FOLLOWS BECAUSE WRESTLING FANS LOVE THE DARK!"







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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2014, 05:32:32 PM »
Solid show.
I enjoyed the style in which the ME was written.
Shocked at Chaos' SCC title win.
Dan Stein/Eli Storm should be all sorts of fun.
Isaac's message of HOPE is a great storyline.
The Six-Man: The finsh got me.

I think that HARD HITTING HIGHLIGHTS style is the way moving forward.

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2014, 05:35:05 PM »
Shocked at Chaos' SCC title win.

Nah, man. You cleanly spanked me. Great week. :)







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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2014, 10:44:28 AM »
I'll be getting some feedback in tonight.

But I just wanted to say; the newer match style is very easy to read, and at least in my opinion added to the show rather than take away from it.



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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2014, 08:34:47 PM »
Feedback might be a little non-conventional this time, just wanna comment on a few broad topics without getting too structured into a format.

- The hot topic this cycle is…SUMMARIES. I honestly think this format is going to breathe new life into SHOOT Project and lay down additional motivation for the writers that make up the consistent core of the fed. We have our core group and we’re always growing and gaining new people, and it’s such a weight off my shoulders knowing that I can help out now in a much more effective way by using this new storytelling format instead of sitting down and grinding out a lengthy match-write up that always ends up feeling like a chore.

I think this will give us the flexibility as a fed to prolong the life of SHOOT without having to take another break due to burn out…because this is a pace that’s easy to work with. There’s no loss of interest because stuff is taking forever to put together and I don’t think we’re going to be struggling to meet show deadlines if we go this route.

I think SHOOT’s brand of summaries will definitely satisfy people because KNOWING how our writers operate…we’re not going to get a few sloppy, poorly written sentences thrown together with a winner announcement tacked on.

We’re going to get innovative, connected stories…stories that are fun to read, fun to tell, and not a huge pain in the ass to write.

I feel like this show was kind of our “soft launch” for this format…we were still finding our footing, trying to get an idea of what works best and what we should focus on moving forward…and I think the next show will be even more clean and concise once we start with the present tense format throughout the entire show.

Also I think we need to decide how announcers are going to figure into the summaries…just a few lines here and there or are we going to leave them out entirely? Wanna hear some opinions from people on this.

- Chaos had a big win for the Sin City Title, huge victory…very cool.

- I’ve been consistently impressed with how well done this Scavengers/Vermont’s Finest feud has been. It just feels like this gritty, mercurial fight…and I feel like it’s taken VF from just throwaway comedy characters and made them into LEGIT contenders that can be taken seriously when they need to be. The junkie trio are some of the nastiest, scummiest heels I’ve ever read…and I love reading them.

- Storm/Stein could turn into a huge dark horse feud if Dan (Warren) stays consistent…when Dan is ON…the dude is a beast.

- Very cool introduction for Reboca….he took a no show and made the best of it, made it into something dynamic

- Loco’s hunt for the title and rather or not it’s darkening his mentality is one of the most interesting storylines in SHOOT right now. It’s the classic mystery story

- Tanev continues to be a guy that’s very relatable, someone you can sympathize with and be proud of for rising above his past. The lines about homeless people reintegrating back into society were pretty damn powerful

- Everything about Jonny and Project HERO is pure fucking GOLD. On one hand this segment makes me totally forget that Jonny has been ducking in ring competition due to a “wrist injury” and think that he’s actually doing his best to promote honor and integrity in SHOOT…then we get the shocking swerve that JARVIS is his partner in this. It’s just…I feel like Jonny transcends the barrier of hero and villain. This individual is so complicated and every decision he makes seems HUGE but it’s so hard to tell where his actual motivation lies. I LOVE that about the character.






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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2014, 09:57:31 AM »
I'll start with the summarized match writing.

Our strength, as a fed lies in our story telling ability. From the personal journey of say Kale Tanev to King mixing it up with Winter/Blair or the Project: Hero story-line. It's these parts of the shows that I enjoy the most as a reader.

So by shortening the match length, doing away with the long winded entrances/introductions and highlighting the story aspect of the matches over the technical-aspect; i feel that it actually makes for a better read. Everything feels more concise and important with this new format. I know some may be put off by it, but all in all it fits with what WE do.

Were not a hyper-competitive fed that can't stand each other OOC and want to "BEAT" each other. We are writers and storytellers who happen to compete along the way. We talk, we banter and we work together. And this new match style is a product of this.

Overall this show was decent, it felt invigorated somewhat and that's always good to see.

My top moments of the night were:
Great usage of near falls in the Sin City Title match.

The brawl of a match between the Scavenging Hipsters and Vermont's finest told one hell of a story.

Cross Recoba used his segment to introduce himself, taking advantage of the situation and showing some initiative.

Great use of continuity, that seemed to happen by chance. When we had Loco talking to Mary, followed by Tanev using Abigail. These two segments would have been ruined if they both used the same interviewer.

And the Main Event was a perfect example of how to write the new match style.

Edit: How could I forget my highlight of the night. The Project:Hero segment.  What I liked the most about it was that you guys ran the risk of writing a long segment, which could have gone south and bored half the fed, however you delivered in content and made the entire segment worth the read.



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Jonny

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2014, 06:29:55 PM »
To start off, I'd like to say that I am VERY happy with the direction the shows are taking, and think the match summaries will (as has been said before) SAVE a lot of talented writers.  Match writing burn out is VERY real and that burn out is what leads to us having to take frustrating breaks.

I think, for this show, there was definitely room for improvement, but you expect that with a brand new format.  We need to stick to present tense, first and foremost, and I think the formatting/execution can use some work.  We could probably do with a LITTLE more detail, but, honestly, that's where strats will come in.

I think the announcers SHOULD be used to lead us into the next "story arch" of the match.  So when someone takes control, or an interesting development occurs, we do an announcer break and they emphasize important parts.

The matches didn't feel like a burden as a reader.  I got to get the story painted for me, and didn't have to suffer through tedious move descriptions.  Spots got "over" and stories were presented cleanly/accessibly.

I think we have a winner on our hands, and now it's just the fun part of making it awesome.

NOW ONTO THOUGHTS FROM THE SHOW

- Isaac and Maya have made everyone forget the weirdness that was that 10 on 1 match.  I have no problem eating crow.  I'm now intrigued why that whole thing happened to Maya, and while I STILL think it could have been executed a little more clearly, it's definitely won me over in the long haul.  The part at the end in regards to the World Title was an AWESOME nod to the current climate with Loco.  Great work on this one.

- Gratz the very strange, silent KILLAH, Chaos on his win.  STEIN DOES THE JOB and puts over the very deserving new champ.  Greg's work with the Dan Stein needed to be give all the props in the world.  He's doing a fantastic job and Stein's evolution is facsinating.  The later promo with Eli Storm was surprisingly well done.  (I only say surprisingly because I don't know that I expected it.)  Hope Dan (Eli) is around for a while and they make this thing work cause I agree with Jer.  Could be $$$

As for Chaos, I'd like to see him get into something a little on the deeper end to really explore whoever this weird character is.  There's a lot there (or so it feels) and I'm interested to learn as much as I can.

- Just in general, I REALLY appreciate the kind words on the Quinn/Riley/Wailer stuff as well as what I've been working on with Jonny.  I'm not going to give any spoilers outside of these are two of my favorite stories I've ever been able to tell so it's cool to share this stuff with you all.

- To Will, I love where you've gone with VF during this feud and am glad I've been able to work with you on something.

- Recoba WILL be a giant player here.  He's the next Sam if he stays consistent.  Love his work so far and dig the character.  A LOT of depth and places to go.  He's gonna fit in the SHOOT Project world really well.

- Loco's current character development is awesome.  I can't decide if the "Heel" tones are just me or if there's something going on.  I love the idea of the world title being a corrupting force.  Perfect work from Scotty the Boddy Hayestura.

- Glad Jarvis got to actually debut.  ;)  Check out his sweet podcast on the boards.

- BIG upset for Zex and Owens.  Very fun story at play that give ROUND 2 SOME CRAAAAAZY anticipation.  Corazon/Isaac build COULD have potentially been stronger, but I also understand the idea of needing to tie up loose ends quicker rather than more slowly, especially with MotM being everyone's main focus.

I feel like we have some sweet stories ready to burst under the surface.  These shows have felt somewhat ominous and I love it.  We're all super happy, good-guy driven...  but ITS FUCKING SHOOT...  something bad is going to happen soon.

Right?

Great effort guys and I hope this inspires people to start doing more.  Go read promos.  Immerse yourself in this world we've created.

Cheers!

-Jeff

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2014, 03:40:15 PM »
Let's get some more thoughts, guys.  REMEMBER, this place is the best when we're active in the community.  What did you think of the summaries?  What angles/stories are standing out at current?  Anything not hitting or you're confused as "fans/readers"?

CHATTING IS CARING!

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2014, 05:43:53 PM »
Just wanted to leave some quick feedback as far as the summaries were concerned while I have a moment. I think the idea of having summaries is a good one, I feel like it'll probably take a lot of stress out of matchwriting and also help to give us just a quick jolt of action without it feeling too bogged down. However, I was curious if there could still be full written matches for like PPV MEs or Title Matches.

While summaries are great, I feel like there are going to be some matches that just really deserve a full write up. Like, say, the Redemption Rumble for example is a huge deal here and it's something we all look forward to, I feel like that needs the epic write up. I feel the same way when there is a title defense, it's a huge deal for champion and challenger, so I kinda feel like it deserves the attention.



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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2014, 07:59:48 PM »
Feedback time.

Seems like there's some revitalized energy about these parts, which is great because when people start to slow down/struggle is when people start to lose interest and we spiral downward from there. Thankfully we're going up instead of down this time around (which allowed me to FINALLY re-debut as Paul Jarvis)

That being said, let's talk about the hot topic issue first... the summaries. as an avid subscriber to full length matches I definitely had my reserves about this approach. However after reading Revolution 128 that concern had greatly faded with only just a few key things I want to feedback on.

#1. Present tense! Needs to be. Past tense in ALL things takes me out of the moment and in a creative writing community that is centered around in the moment LIVE action, it needs to feel that way. So hopefully moving forward we maintain consistency on that front and keep the summaries in present tense.

#2. While I can see where people may feel a full match write up is still important for like big matches and title bouts... I don't necessarily agree with that. Here's why. Based on how Jeff did the six man tag match summary I felt more entertained and like things mattered MORE, and it was an under card match technically. Yes it was sort of the feud ender/next step in a bigger story BUT it wasn't a title match or a Pay Per View bout and I still was like "holy shit this is epic." If summaries are written the way Jeff did which still included some commentary and still had a match flow vibe to it, I'd personally feel very satisfied especially when applied to big time matches and title bouts. I think the Redemption Rumble will especially be helped by the summary approach simply because it IS such a massive undertaking that usually sees everyone kind of lost in the shuffle.

which brings me to #3. NOTHING gets lost in the shuffle with this style of match. Everything you read has purpose and that purpose drives you to read through the entire contest. Yes, IMO, the Blair/King match was too short when it comes to the summary style and I think it could have benefited from a bit more substance (it wasn't bad but in transitioning a match summary like that may be why some would still want full length matches) and again full length matches can happen if people want to do the work... I just don't think people want to do the work (I also subscribe to the idea that the people involved in a match should ALWAYS writer their stuff to get the best out of the characters and the moves used)

So yeah glad the summary style has been introduced and I think it may take 1 or 2 more shows to really get a solid feel down, but I think we've already made leaps and bounds in the right direction.

Let's talk the show itself and that which it contained now, shall we? We shall.

Chaos vs. Dan Stein: Sin City Championship
Okay so uhhh WHOA... upset victory to kick off the night and NEW Sin City Champion!? I'm into it somewhat, but I wanted to see Stein continue with that title for a little while longer to be honest.  Personally would have loved to see Chaos chase Stein (maybe get a count out victory here or just come up short) and despite Stein trying to move on, Chaos is kind of there... a good guy thorn in the bad guy's side.  Chaos has all the makings of a solid comedy wrestler who you can also take seriously in the ring when it comes to fighting, though, so I'm not AGAINST him as champion, just now its time for Chaos to keep stepping it up as SHOOT Project is notorious for recognizing  rising talent but maybe putting the title on them too soon (SEE: Kincaid)

It will be interesting to see if Chaos can get a feud going with someone from here, and as for Stein, it looks like he's moving on to get into the RoS title picture, and I'm intrigued to see if his match with Eli is a one off or if there is something in the works there. Either way whatever Stein is up to next, you know it shall be golden and so yeah, important win for Chaos but now is the time where we need to see the character take the next step in his development.

Backstage segment with Vermont's Finest
LOL at El Asso Wipo calling Mary Kelly Lady Dutch. I don't know if he's always done this and I've just never realized it, but made me laugh. Also the succinctness of this segment is a PERFECT wrestling show segment and we get some foreshadowing that while these guys have been kind of walking, talking cartoons the mood has changed. Silas talking with the we choose all line is kind of what sold it for me and even though I was up against Vermont's Finest at that moment I was like "man I hope they win"

Vermont's Finest vs. Wailer, Quinn, and Riley
Already said how much I dug Jeff's style of summary match writing and boy did this one have it all. The mugging at the beginning, the attempted heroic comeback, the ACTUAL heroic comeback... and yeah suddenly Vermont's Finest are looking pretty damn fine (not physically but you know... like fine good guys who can compete)  Talk about a night of comedy characters getting serious!  So yeah Will's work with his trio has been fun to go up against and while I'm sure the VILLAINOUS TRIO is not done yet with the masked lucha crew, this felt like a solid blow off under card match with a more than satisfactory end to this string of happenings.

The Champ is... Hurt
Maya selling like a pro shows his face which is good. I think the World Champion needs to be on every show and have an important part. This segment does help push the continued story line begging the question WHY and WHO.  This is a slow burn I can get behind though I still think there needs to be a bit more from Maya as world champion... I just forget he's world champ from time to time. That being said, this epic clean match that keeps being hyped for Master of the Mat between Maya and Loco seems more and more less likely to be epic clean... especially with Maya as hurt as he is... he might not be fully recovered fully by Pay Per View time... meaning whether Loco is a part of this or not... he definitely will have the advantage. Entragian's stuff about humanity and seeing it in Maya was an all too important line in this segment and it further helps me believe in the Pale Rider as a good guy (though I'm still not sold he's not biding his time so I shall watch with a careful eye on all things Issac.)

Cross Recoba
Take note all ye who are new to enter SHOOT Project. MAKE opportunities for yourself no matter what. I love Cross... maybe too much... but man is this guy in the right mind set to do wonders here in SHOOT Project. This segment was perfect, and pays homage to some old school heel tactics. Asking Generic Goon to bring someone to the ring was priceless and even though I have nothing invested in the NPC that is Kyle, the way this was written made me actually care for a brief second. Solid work and makes me want to see Cross in action now and get himself into a solid feud/storyline.

Loco Martinez
Okay so I know we need the time to finish the tournament, but we need the Pay Per View to come soon because now I need a little something more from Loco as the past couple shows his segments have kind of been the same in Loco sort of repeating himself about the world title match. The getting a bit on the defensive regarding the "old self" line was good and added a subtle new layer, but other than that, not a real stand out segment, but good to have the #1 contender on the show as well (he and Maya SHOULD be the focal points of Revolution from here on out in my opinion.)

GOOD CONTINUITY (I think that was brought up and whether or not it was unintentional doesn't matter. Glad we used two different interviewers)

Kale Tanev
Okay so Tanev finally opens up.... but we're left with MORE questions! Good bit of a reveal/non-reveal here in this in ring interview and despite getting a little more direct back story on where Kale Tanev comes from, hes' still easily the most realistically enigmatic character on the roster. Good work by Matt on this one and I'm very interested in this family friend and whether or not that will come into play more as Tanev's career and reign as a champion continues.

Elgin Blair vs. Donovan King
Was Blair cannon fodder for King? I don't think that was what Billy Winter intended and while I think this match summary could have used a little more... I think it actually serves a purpose being so short. Going back and re-reading it the shorter approach gives it that "OH SHIT ITS OVER?" feel which then of course fits Masters's line of "Winter is BESIDE himself" as we, the reader, are also somewhat shocked.  Obviously the feud is between King and Winter too... and while I really like the Elgin Blair character, it was apparent he's more of an added element to the main story line. Good win for King, fits the bill as he's kind of been beaten on by Winter and co. the past couple shows.

Project: Hero
I re-debuted! COOL!  So yeah been looking forward to this and glad it finally came together. The first time I was to be introduced was prior to the vacation/hiatus and this second go around of writing the reveal segment was much more fun and I think really set a better tone that what was going to happen previously. Haven't gotten to work with Jeff directly in a long while, so ready to have some fun with this whole story.  Hope everyone else is into it... and if you hate Paul Jarvis.... even better for me! :)

Tag Team Main Event
Other than the past tense and lack of commentary, this was a really solid one off story. You have old friends with some trust issues up against current friends who have come into SHOOT Project not knowing really anyone except each other. Surprised to see Corazon take the pin here to be perfectly honest, but I feel like everything that happened in this match really plays into the Master of the Mat tournament in a nice subtle indirect way. Omar and Zex NEEDED the win I think to help cement them, but now I think Corazon needs to come back and dominate like only he can... and a longer running Corazon/Zex program could be a very fun watch.


So yeah above all things else, this show not only entertained but has already got me excited for Revolution 129. I think thats the most important aspect of any show is to keep something flowing into the next one. Random one off matches are fine from time to time, but there are times where I feel like booking staff is just being lazy and giving us TOO many of those.  The move from 128 to 129 is what I like to see... continuation with some new matches/pairings peppered in.

Feels like people are getting into things more too and that's probably the best thing for everyone.  SHOOT Project is always at its finest when people are driven to be involved, talking, and creating.

See you bitches at 129.

#PaulJarvisWorldChamp2015
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And there was.  And He IS Good.

Matt

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2014, 09:19:08 PM »
I generally like the match format used for the show. Dare I say, we're approaching an old school CEWF style write-up!  Seriously though, there's no question that this format will make it a lot easier to produce the shows for those volunteering their time.  I do think there remains merit is having PPVs be written in the "old" style, however.  My sense is those fully-written out matches will regain the sense of being "special" if they become rare. 

I thought the show overall flowed together well.  Generally the segments were really strong.  I noticed that there's a greater risk of segments dragging on a bit in this format when compared to the shorter match writeups.  So that's something I'll be keeping an eye on for my own future segment contributions. 

As a general note, I think it might be good if we're able to settle on an official date for the next PPV-style event. It might just give us all a deadline to work towards when it comes to plot-pointing storyline arcs. It'll also build a bit more of an urgency into some of the title pictures. 

Omar Owens

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2014, 02:49:17 PM »
Not sure if anyone notices, but usually when the events go up, I disappear for a few days.  That's because I don't like reading any of the boards until I've read the event and I don't read the event until I've read all the RP's and sometimes I need a little time to catch up.  Anyway, that's neither here nor there, just letting you guys know why if sometimes it seems like I'm MIA.

I have a lot to say about the summaries.  If Jonny had just said "Let's do summaries!", I would've dismissed it out of hand because that's just not what e-wrestling is.  But he didn't just say it, he provided an example and that example showed me how great they can be.

Paying closer attention/caring more
The summaries in this event were amazing and I'm sure we'll get even better as we go along.  I actually read all the matches and cared about what happened in each match.  With written matches, often times I'd miss a big turning point in a match because I'd get lost in all the armbars and whips into the ropes and stop caring. 

More matches

One thing Matt mentioned was that the segments seem to drag a little more with the matches being so short.  There is a solution to that, which was mentioned by one of the staff members already, which is more matches, which will help space out the segments...but there's an added benefit to more matches, which I think people might not even realize. 

SHOOT's schedule is perfect for me.  An event every two weeks with 2 RP's per event is the pace I need between work, family, my softball schedule, and weekend activities.  But, if I'm not scheduled for a match one week, that means I have one match in a month, which is not enough to get over.  I know there are other ways to get over in e-wrestling and I need to concentrate on those for Omar, but nothing gets a character over more than a match with two roleplays to help develop that character, as well as someone else in the fed talking about him.  And if the person doesn't do a CD or a segment for an event they don't have match, he can get forgotten a little bit.

Lighten the load
I've already seen a couple of writers say they'll do two matches per event, which is fantastic.  Since match-writing was what has burnt me out on feds in the past, I was avoiding it at all costs, but now with this format, I have no problem picking up matches.

Where do we go?
As more of these summaries are written, I think we'll all get a sense of the best way to write them, as far as length and storytelling.  I think having announcers involved a bit can be helpful when something shocking happens in the match or there's a major turn, just to sell how big a deal it is.  Tense is definitely important, but I'll be honest, I didn't catch it this time, but that's something I usually do pay attention to, so it'll be nice if everyone gets on the same page there.

Strats
I'm new to strats.  I've submitted three so far and I think each has been better than the last (hopefully!), but they are definitely vital to these summaries.  That said, I think there should be some discretion left up to the writer.  For instance, I requested the spot of Corazon going for his version of the Codebreaker and Omar reversing it into a short powerbomb and keeping the hold and rolling Corazon into a Boston crab and I was pretty pumped about the way it was written out, but I also think it should be up to the writer to decide if that sort of thing gets included.  I like the idea of some surprise and also freedom on the part of the writer to say "well, that spot doesn't make any sense in the flow of this match, so I'm throwing it out".

Revolution 128

I'm not great on feedback on events because I hate the idea of hurting someone's feelings with my opinion when, really, who the fuck am I to say what someone wrote is bad?  Luckily, I like everyone's work here so far, so that's not much of a dilemma right now.

Chaos vs. Dan Stein - My two favorite characters right now battling it out.  I love the upset here.  I think Chaos with a belt will come up with some creative stuff and Stein is such a big player in SHOOT that he can go anywhere from here.

Vermon'ts Finest vs. Wailer, Quinn, and Riley - I like when matches get made out of segments because it's the type of thing you see in real wrestling all the time, but so rarely in e-wrestling.  Was Riley really going to stab or carve someone?  Is it weird that I get legitimately scared reading about a fictional guy?

Maya/Ike
Ike's story is my favorite going right now and Maya was the major player in all of that, so I can't wait to see what kind of payoff there is eventually.  These two guys have a strange relationship in the middle of Maya reflecting on his relationship with Loco and Ike working things out with Corazon.  I could see this going in any 1 of 100 directions.

Cross Recoba
Fantastic Million Dollar Man segment.  It totally reminded me of that great clip of RVD as a kid trying to win Dibiase's money.  It's such a classic heel move.  I know Bailey is great, so I can't wait to read more.

Loco Martinez
Is he a heel?  God damn it, tell me!  I need to know!

Kale Tanev
That's a lot of segments in a row.  I know Recoba was supposed to have a match, but just aesthetically it was displeasing (not Kale's fault, I know).  I liked this segment from a guy who didn't have a match to say "hey, I'm still here" and that his story is still going on.

Blair vs. King
Sometimes I don't know who is controlling what character and which characters matter and which ones don't.  Is Blair an ancillary character that doesn't really have a chance in this match?  I'm not sure, but maybe it's better that I don't know because even if he was, I was still wondering who's going to win.  Good start on King's road to revenge

Project Hero
I don't know anything about Jarvis, so the immediate reveal meant nothing to me, but it was written in a way that the reaction told me what a let down it was for him to be the one that came out and it became very funny.  I honestly have no clue where this is going, so I'm intrigued.

Main Event
I just have to say that I'm not sure what I did to get in main events so quickly, but I definitely appreciate the attention...even if it is just because of my character's association with Zex.  This match was perfect, in my opinion.  Zex and O2 are about to embark on a tag team adventure, so a win here was a big boost to their prospects and Ike/Adrian don't lose anything from it because the loss can be explained by them not being a cohesive unit...and the match was written exactly that way, with O2/Zex using tandem moves and Ike/Adrian getting frustrated with each other.


Sorry for the long-winded post.  I'll try to keep them more succinct in the future.

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Omar Owens

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2014, 02:56:09 PM »
Oh, I forgot Eli's segment.  I like the stipulation because it's a creative one where each person would get something different if they won.  I would've liked an explanation of what happens to the loser, though.  If Stein wins, does that mean Storm is out of the running for the Sin City belt?  And if Storm wins, does Stein have to come up with a different direction than the Rule of Surrender strap?

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Cross Recoba

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2014, 08:08:10 PM »
Disclaimer: If I don't go into too much detail it's cause I'm still learning the ropes around here with characters and what not.

Chaos vs. Dan Stein: Sin City Championship
Really enjoyed the build-up to this, I'll admit it was a surprise victory, not undeserved, but I loved Stein's way of selling how much the title meant to him and referencing some history in his last promo. Match write-up was great, despite the summarised results we still got a glimpse into Chaos' personality throughout and I reckon he'll be quite a good champion, and entertaining to boot!

Vermont's Finest vs. Wailer, Quinn, and Riley
This was a really fun match to read through from booking to finish. Started off with a Texan Freebird/Von Erich brawl feel to me and slowly descended into a six-man brawl worthy of being traded on VHS around the 90's Northeast! Some brutal spots make me want to salute the strats sent in from both sides.

The Champ is... Hurt
Great segment to continue the seeming salvation of Entragian and what seems to be, at the very least, an intriguing alliance with Maya. This really put over the storyline and also addressed the ending to 126 really well. I agree with Ed however that there is that nagging doubt in your head as to when Isaac is going to snap/turn/decide to party like it's 2013 but that doubt makes the story all the more intriguing.

Stein/Storm
I think this was a great way to put an interesting take on the #1 Contender style matches. I can see both men working well with the opponents they'll get if they get the W. A knock-on effect is it keeps Stein immediately in your mind as a man to watch which after the run he's been on could easily have not happened. I look forward to seeing what the title-holders make to this development.

Cross Recoba vs Marz
Thanks to everyone for the kind words. Hopefully I'll live up to the expectations!

Loco Martinez
As a newcome to SHOOT I loved this segment. It instantly gave me a reason to care about the upcoming match as well as a look into who Loco is and what he's about. Hit all the checkpoints for a promo - told me who he was, who he wanted to beat, when he'd do it and what he wanted.

Kale Tanev
What I love about how Matt writes is that he manages to write a likeable guy who you could see any crowd cheering for and getting behind and invested in. Often face characters want to be cool (this is also true of heel characters) or they're almost too Bobbysoxer about the whole thing. Tanev works because he doesn't go over the top with trying to be likeable and writes Tanev to have little ego. Great segment to build out one of my favourite characters.

Elgin Blair vs. Donovan King
What I took away from this, as a newbie, is that King is a force to be reckoned with! The squash style nature of the match served it's purpose and, for me, put over that the Dealbreaker is the end.

Project: Hero
Like Justin (Omar) said, as a newcomer this could have left me flat but it was done really well. Loved the intrusion by Rex and Angel and the back and forth to set-up a match. If Ike/Maya is a slow-burner then this is quite the opposite and can see it shaping a few shows over the next few months.

Tag Team Main Event
Some great spots in this match and it was pretty cool to see the build-up and pay-off to this match live up to the hype. I think, if I understood Sam correctly, a team of Zex/O2 could be hassling the champs pretty soon for a match and I look forward to it.

General Thoughts
- I demand more Buck Dresden!
- Summaries work pretty well
- Apologies if I've made any mistakes in the above, and my tardiness. I wanted to read everything before I left feedback and there were some cracking promos written!

Lucy Blaylock

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2014, 06:06:22 AM »
Summary style looks like it is gonna work out just fine though I would like to see more from the announcers.

Wanted to say that. More feedback later.

Promise. <3

Omar Owens

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2014, 04:50:41 PM »
Quote
Cross Recoba
Fantastic Million Dollar Man segment.  It totally reminded me of that great clip of RVD as a kid trying to win Dibiase's money.  It's such a classic heel move.  I know Bailey is great, so I can't wait to read more.

I called him Liam originally.  Just a brain fart making me think of another guy I used to fed with.

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Re: Revolution 128 - Feedback Thread
« Reply #17 on: August 30, 2014, 11:41:34 PM »
I dig the new summary style.  I didn’t notice the tense issue, but that doesn’t surprise me I can be less gooder  with that stuff.  I will have to try to keep that in mind whenever I tackle summary matches.  I liked seeing some commentary mixed in with Blair/King.  I feel like in matches like the main event it’ll take some work because ideally you want to get all the combatants a little shine/mention… or what have you. 

Excited for Silas’ first words!  Really enjoying the Dirt Bags vs. Vermont’s finest.  This match was fun and violent.  timmons having the wrestling tights version of whatever Hermione’s bag was, was great.  I also believe “A SLAP AND A SCHOOL BOY” should be an alternate finisher for Wipo.

Interesting journey Maya and Ike continue on.  Now Maya seeks out Isaac because maybe just MAYBE Ike can shine some light on who could be behind things. 

Good segment work this show.  I really enjoyed Project: Hero.  Like how Cross made a statement.  I enjoyed how Stein/Eli’s match got made and how each guy gets something different if they win.   

tonight was my third time going over the show, and I’ve enjoyed it more and more.  I’ve also gotten more and more excited thinking about the prospects moving forward.