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Author Topic: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**  (Read 774 times)

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REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« on: August 27, 2014, 09:46:39 AM »
What are your thoughts on the build to Revolution 129?  Have any promos or character pieces stood out?  Something rub you the wrong way?

Let's chat about it!

**REMINDER: This game is a lot more fun when we get involved as a community.  Writers put a LOT of work into what they do and feedback (positive OR negative) means the world to these folks!  Something as simple as even "Hey, nice job!" can go a long f'n way!**

Cross Recoba

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2014, 10:39:22 AM »
Adrian Corazon Vs. Zex
So far some solid work. I liked how Corazon has built up the match in his promo so far. Solid setting, sold the fact that for Corazon this is a score he wants to settle. Zex's promo was equally good, got over why he's back, the back-story for his return (which I didn't know (not sure if it was already revealed)).

Buck Dresden Vs. Kale Tanev
Loving the contrast between these two soldiers. I thought that both guys got over what the win meant to them as well as hyping up the match without degenerating into name-calling and nitpicking. At the moment it's a real coin-toss as to who'll go through.

HERO Vs. ANARCHY
Firstly, any wrestler called 'The Spot Monkey' grabs my attention! I think this match has been sold well with two very different approaches. I'm still waiting on the slow burn of PH, which is to be expected, and I liked how Anarchy  put across their attitude to the match.

Only matches with at least one promo a piece were included. I'll likely edit/add to these thoughts when the deadline hits.

Jonny

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2014, 02:49:20 PM »
Pretty cool story stuff going on this week, even with the competitive master of the mat environment.  People are doing a great job of making these bouts feel exciting.

Stand-Outs so far to me include:

- Both of Scott's pieces with Anarchy.  I think he's doing a great job of telling his version of what Project Hero seems like to Rex and Angel, while also affirming the "rehabilitation" of the duo.  THEY ARE BACK IN SHAPE, they're MEAN and they're ready to GET F'N DIIIIIRTY.  Great work.  I enjoyed everything about it.

- Josh's first with Corazon was stellar.  You can kind of tell when he's in a match with a dude he has IRL respect for.  There's far less of what I consider the "boring dissection" of his opponent's promo and far more story.  Corazon is at his best as a character when he speaks fewer words, but makes each one count.  His handling of the Entragian sitch was great and also added some HEAT to his round 2 bout with Zex.

- Speaking of Zex, Sam's slowly getting into the grove similar to how he hit it with Valentine a year ago.  Newer characters are always more difficult to get over in a "storied" environment like SHOOT that has so much rich history and tons of things going on.  Similar to Josh, I feel sometimes Sam gets wrapped up into the "semantics" games too frequently in certain matches, but Corazon brought out the best in him and I enjoyed the entire piece fully.  I FEEL like we might see a repeat of last year, with Zex catching Corazon off guard, but I have to be honest, with the scope of the tournament this year, I wouldn't mind seeing the Corazon/Entragian final I predicted might happen a year ago.

- Buck Dresden.  Fuck him.  Hahaha.  I'm actually constantly amazed by Brandon's ability to rope you into a character no matter how goofy he might seem on paper, and how badly you want to dislike something (or at least feel like you SHOULD dislike it) I'm into the story of the character and think, with the right work, he could be an upper tier guy and PERHAPS be the next Maya (At some juncture)  It's weird, but it has legs and stability.  That said, I think he's fodder for the winner of Corazon/Zex, but stranger things have happened.  ;)

- Greg's story of Dan Stein becoming a "Grand Slam Champion" is pretty great and such a wicked way of fending off his loss to Chaos.  I'm hoping Eli shows up to make this interesting, but from a story perspective, Stein chasing the RoS title for "greed" while the champ, Tanev has to defend it because it's literally the ONLY thing he has to his name is STORY gold.  Actually... man.  Fuck.   That's an AWESOME potential story.  Great work and amazing set up, Greggums.

- I know he's my brother IRL, but Ed's stuff with Jarvis and introducing Crusher and The Spot Monkey was fucking fantastic.  I'm excited to see what we can do with these new characters and hope to add a lot to the tag division with them!

- SIDE NOTES ON STORY PIECES: Chaos and WHOEVER THE FUCK VAGRANT SOUL IS...  your stuff has been succinct and purposeful.  I'm interested to see the continued development of Chaos's character.  It's weird, but the fact that we're slowly having the curtains pulled back  on his life.

AS for Mr. Soul.  Very surreal stuff.  I have my thoughts on who this could be...  or might be working everyone and KNOW EXACTLY WHO IT IS hahaha...  But yeah, if it's who I think it is, some reaaaaallllly interesting things are on the horizon.

It's been nice this cycle to see the increased activity early.  These matches and this card is stacked so I hope to read a little more.  The promos so far brilliant supplements for the show.  And I wouldn't mind if we started picking a few to highlight during the actual shows (We used to do that waaaaay back in AODWF) just to continue adding importance to the work we do in all facets of this lovely game

Cheers pals!  KEEP IT UP!

G

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2014, 08:57:59 PM »
I just read the second RP Josh put up this week (In Victory). I just wanted to say that the visual of seeing Corazon through someone else's eyes was really awesome. Felt like the beginning of Terminator, in a good way.

Nice little touch.







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Jonny

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2014, 05:14:02 PM »
NOT SURE HOW I MISSED MR ENTRAGIAN'S,

Some comments!

Jeremy.  I think you absolutely have the talent/ability to pull off a face turn, but I would suggest not "worrying" about it.  (I notice some very MINOR trends in your promos toward doing TOO MUCH to appear "sympathetic")  The best heroes are guys that don't ask for you to cheer them, and whose actions remain consistent.  What made Isaac a popular HEEL is the same thing that can make him an AMAZING anti-hero face.  He feels remorse for his actions in the past.  He feels lost.  GREAT.  Build on that and don't rush "Make a Wish" stuff or make the references to the "faces" that you keep working in.

The stuff Isaac said in retaliation to the Scavengers/Trio/Bad Humans/RnRnW was AWESOME.  it was vicious, cruel, but addressed to dudes on the OTHER end of the "moral spectrum".  I'd say lean more toward that aspect of the character and not get wrapped up in perceptions.

EDITED IN:  (HIT SEND TOO FAST)

As that pertains to your promo this week, I thought the beginning was solid and the disbelief that a make a wish kid wanted to see you was good as well.  (I don't know that you NEEDED to have the kid involved, but sometimes life is random so I didn't mind the request).  I think I would have had Isaac deny the request, though.  (That's just MY thought).  Maybe he does something else in said.  A donation to a charity to find a cure?  A card.  Anything.  An ACTION verses a "chat".  Maybe the kid is persistent, though.  You build a story...   After months, the kid makes on last request...  Isaac comes in and sees how much this means.  It can add.

The KEY.  IS.  SLOW. for something of this nature.  Otherwise you ram it down your audiences's face and it feels "meh".  You lose impact and you're "just another wrestling good guy".

So THERE ARE MY THOUGHTS!~  <3

Paul Jarvis

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2014, 10:59:15 AM »
I'm going to do some more specifics when I have a moment this weekend, but I just want to say that I love the surge in storytelling, drive, and creativity. I've not been disappointed by a promo yet this week, but I will say right now the match I'm looking forward to most (on a non-biased level) is Corazon/Zex as there is the most there in terms of competition vibe and personal growth/story.

On a maybe biased level, everything Jeff and I do is kind of golden lately. I've never had more fun being Paul Jarvis, and I think from a "fun match" perspective Crusher and The Spot Monkey vs. Anarchy is going to be a show stealer/sleeper of sorts.

Also if you want to know how to write a near-perfect "on the phone" promo/scene, see Jonny's work this week. Too many people repeat everything the non-heard person says and that's not how phone conversations work.

I'll break down match by match later, possibly at deadline time too when that's announced.
On the Eighth Day God Said... "Let there Be Jarvis."

And there was.  And He IS Good.

Omar Owens

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2014, 01:24:11 PM »
I'll chime in on the talk of Entragian's Make-a-Wish visit.  I understand where people are coming from saying it seems way too face-y for a guy who's still struggling to walk the path of the righteous, but I think that complaint would be more valid if it was a straight up cancer kid who's super cute with big adorable eyes and whatnot.  Isaac can easily transition to anti-hero by being a representative of those that society has shunned because of their grotesque appearance.

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Jonny

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2014, 04:52:36 PM »
oh, i hope my feedback didn't come across as "negative".  i was only saying i don't know that "I" would make the same choices.  I ALSO react to what I read and have never had a problem saying "whoops.  i was way wrong."

I mostly just think it's a thin line with that stuff in writing "alignments"

Omar Owens

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Re: REVOLUTION 129 - **ROLE-PLAY FEEDBACK**
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2014, 06:21:31 PM »
Holy shit.  That Billy Winter breaking news.  I'm dying.

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