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Author Topic: The Ladder Aisle {i for ANARCHY!}  (Read 435 times)


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The Ladder Aisle {i for ANARCHY!}
« on: November 16, 2014, 07:11:10 PM »
The wobbly front of a bright orange shopping cart that belongs to the Home Depot.  The boys of ANARCHY! walking behind the cart, that T.Rex pushes.  A rather routine trip to the super sized hardware store.  We see assorted items packing the cart.  They talk quietly amongst themselves as they work their way through the store. 

T.Rex: That shit got outta hand, Chris.  Fuggin' Crazy.

Arch Angel:  I know, right?  No idea what to make of all of that.  I just know that coming out of Revolution?  We got ourselves a title match.

T.Rex:  Yeah.  And the stuff in our match?  I mean... the attack on Omar and Zex.  The Trophy Case?  You think Loco...

He trails off not sure if he really WANTS to know the answer to the question he started.

Arch Angel:   I don't know, Ted.  Right now... in SHOOT?  I figure its best to focus on what we can control.  What we CAN control is our title match at Master of the Mat.

T.Rex: *mutters*  As much as a four way ladder match can be "controlled". 

Arch Angel smirks and nods knowingly.  A few moments of silence follow.   They make aright down an aisle and come to an abrupt stop.   They are surrounded with countless ladders of all shapes and sizes.  Colorful fiberglass ladders, and glistening aluminum.   T.Rex chuckles.

T.Rex:  Pick one of these fuggers up for practice? 

Arch Angel also chuckles.

Arch Angel:  Yeah we ain’t exactly going into a match that one would think would benefit dudes of our respective sizes and ages…

T.Rex:  So we’re old and fat?

Arch Angel:  In a way…

T.Rex:  On the plus side, at least we got ourselves a tag title rematch. Even IF its not a one on one with Hollywood Hardcore.

Arch Angel:  Hey with all the whispering about if we would get any shot at all we can’t be too pissy with having this match with Hardcore, Omar and Zex, and Team Methhead Scuzzy McScumbags.

T.Rex:  Dude, Riley is gonna have a laundry list of profanity for you for that.  He might create a few new ones just for you.

They share a chuckle.  They have come to a stop and they’re eying up the array of ladders.  Small 3 footers to giant 12 footers, extension ladders.  Colorful fiberglass ladders, and silver aluminum.  T.Rex approaches a six foot ladder.  He frowns looking at a warning label.

T.Rex:  Dude… this says that the weight limit for this shit is two hundred, fiddy pounds. 

Arch Angel:  yeah well some of those down there are rated for over three hundred pounds. 

T.Rex:  Yeah… I don’t think its a good thing if the ladder is already buckling if just one of us is on the damn thing!  I mean… when in any ladder match, EVER has it been about guys taking turns and being on a ladder “one at a time”. 

Arch Angel:  Yeah.  I hear, ya.  We’re just gonna have to make sure guys are down… AND out if we’re gonna start adventuring up the ladder to get those belts.  Or?  This will be the first ladder match that goes to a no contest because we’ve successfully destroyed every last one that will no doubt be surrounding the ring. 

T.Rex runs his hands across a silver aluminum ladder.

T.Rex: Its not like we’re foreign to ladders.  We both dabbled in contractor work back east.  We did all kinds of odds and ends growing up, when we were just wrestling part time.  Just… uh… we’re not super familiar with them inside a ring. 

Arch Angel:  Right.  We can totally use them.  Ain’t afraid of heights or anything like THAT.  BUT?  Us in the ring with the ladder and how exactly we’re going to use it?  The strategy to figure out when to climb, or how to climb?  All THAT is a work in progress.   Hell I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out if in our long, less than illustrious careers if we’ve been in a match like this before? 

T.Rex:  I think so?  I can vaguely remember being involved in a ladder match before. 

Arch Angel: But were we IN it, or just there… probably added muscle for someone. 

T.Rex shrugs.

T.Rex: Does it fuggin matter? 

Arch Angel:  I guess not.

T.Rex:  Of course it doesn’t.  Cuz we’re going into Master of the Mat with a chance to regain THE Tag Team Championships.  And we’re going in there with a whole lot of talented wrestlers.  A whole lot of dangerous dudes.   The one thing they share in common is I ain’t about to have love for any of these teams.  Sure, I like Cripp, but he and Laz are the ones that beat us for those belts.  And they can be as Hollywood Hardcore as they want-

Arch Angel:  Isn’t Hollywood Hardcore just porn? 

T.Rex stops, and stares at Arch Angel he shakes his head with a chuckle.

T.Rex:  I s’pose.  But I’m guessing “The Pornographers” wasn’t quite the catchy team name SHOOT wanted to put on t-shirts. 

Arch Angel:  Or DID they?

T.Rex takes  a moment to weigh the marketing possibilities of “The Pornographers” merchandise.

Arch Angel:  The team names aside, at Master of the Mat we’re getting our title match.  We’re facing off against 3 talented and dangerous teams.  We’ve fought all of these guys since SHOOT Reopened its doors, and lets take a look at the score card?  Things did NOT go well for us.  Lost to Crip and Laz.  lost to Omar and Zex-

T.Rex:  By DQ. 

Arch Angel:  And who’s fault was THAT? 

T.Rex:  Still. 

Arch Angel:  And Riley, Quinn, Wailer, and whoever else may or may not be involved with that pack of hyenas have not just gone out of their way to put the tag division on blast, but it seems like most of SHOOT.  Say what you will about those guys… and trust me… we WILL… This match?  Specifically because of the chaos a ladder match includes, and the total self destructive disregard those guys seem to live their lives with?   I can’t even begin to wrap my head around what this match will be.  How it’ll play out. 

T.Rex:  Luckily we ain’t exactly the master strategists.  IF there is one thing we tend to excel at its, not over thinking.

Arch Angel chuckles and deadpans.

Arch Angel:  That’s an understatement. 

T.Rex:  Dick…  BUT  We do our best work walking into our place of work… be it a Bar, or a Ring, and get to clobberin’!   Sure we may not be tailor made for…

He slaps a six foot ladder.

T.Rex:  The surroundings, but in a match where the mission is to bludgeon, neutralize, and incapacitate?  A match where we’ll far and away have the size advantage? 

A Smile crosses Teddy’s lips.

T.Rex:  I like our chances. 

Arch Angel:  I like you’re optimism, Theordore *T.Rex SHOOTs him a dirty look* -  The good thing for us, if you can HAVE a good thing in a match as physical and as dangerous as this?  Is that wearing down our opponents with our physicality.  Attacking and pummeling and just beating them down… Won’t entail us climbing the ladder to hit a move.  See fellas? 

Arch Angel walks to an 8 foot ladder that is set up and puts his left foot on the bottom rung.

Arch Angel: For the boys of ANARCHY! -  If we set foot on one of these?  Its not to climb to the top to inflict damage.  When it comes to this War at Master of the Mat, I ASSURE YOU, ANARCHY! Are strictly ground troops.   SO when you see us get a Ladder it’ll be to climb it rung by rung to get reclaim the SHOOT Project Tag Team Championships. 

T.Rex:  Unless we’re swinging the ladders at ‘em… like they’re weapons. 

Arch Angel: Sure, I suppose we could use the ladders as a weapon. 

T.Rex:  I’m sure we WILL use them as weapons.  I mean… basically if I can grab it and swing it?  I’m gonna use it.   Fugg, I might pick up Riley by his scrawny ankles and swing his tweaked out ass around and play whack-a-mole with everyone else in this damn match. 

Arch Angel smirks.

T.Rex:  You remember how good I was at Whack-A-Mole I was Chris?  Remember?  On the Boardwalk back in the day?

Arch Angel shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

Arch Angel:  Yeah Teddy, I remember. 

T.Rex: So when we get to Master of the Mat, Omar, Zex, Crippler, Corey, Quinn, and Riley are gonna be my own personal moles. 

Arch Angel:  You hear that SHOOT?  The world’s greatest whack-a-mole player is going to bring his game to Master of the Mat.  And he won’t stop whacking moles until we can climb to the rafters of the Epicenter and retrieve the SHOOT Project World Tag Team Championships! 

T.Rex frowns.

T.Rex:  Don’t have to be sarcastic about it! 

Arch Angel:  Sorry, Ted.  I know what you’re saying and I know you’re looking forward to this match. 

T.Rex:  Fuggin’ A Right.  We don’t know when or if we’ll get another chance like this.  We weren’t sure we’d get THIS one. So we gotta make sure we’re damn ready to go into the Epicenter we put it ALL out there.  If this IS the last chance we ever get at the Tag Titles?  We make sure that everything we have.  Everything we’ve one leads us to the top of these ladders.  Reclaiming the SHOOT Tag Team Championships.  We usher in the return of SHOOT’s Tag Team Division.  We show the WORLD what a little ANARCHY! looks like inside that SHOOT Project ring. 

The two members of ANARCHY!  continue eyeballing the hardware for a few moments before we go to black.