March 22, 2018, 10:57:17 PM

Author Topic: Climbing the Corporate Ladder (Tag Team Title Match)  (Read 434 times)

Omar Owens

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Climbing the Corporate Ladder (Tag Team Title Match)
« on: December 07, 2014, 10:36:21 PM »
We open up on the oft-referenced and equally envied gold ’95 Mazda Protégé that Freak refers to as ‘his baby’ without any of the irony due from a single, childless man in his 40’s.  Freak is behind the wheel and Omar is in the passenger seat nonchalantly looking at his phone as the protégé turns sharply, though not dangerously, into the parking lot of what appears to be some sort of corporate office building.  Freak turns the wheel this way and that a few times, negotiating the parking lot, before neatly pulling into a parking spot near to the front of the lot and stopping abruptly.  Before Freak turns the car off, audible sounds of general engine discomfort can be heard coming from under the hood, as if the car has been struggling a bit.  Omar quickly jumps out of the car and begins stretching his body, twisting his torso, reaching out his arms, and extending his legs one at a time.  He takes a look around his surroundings.

::O2::  This is it?  What did we drive all this way for?

::FN1::  I told you, Omar.  I came up with a brilliant way for you to get an advantage in your ladder match at Master of the Mat.

::O2::  And it’s totally legal?

::FN1::  It’s a ladder match, Omar.  Everything is legal.

::O2::  That’s why you’re the manager and I’m the wrestler.  Legal doesn’t necessarily mean moral.  Am I going to be okay with using this advantage?

::FN1::  Think about it, Omar.  Those high school dropouts the Scavengers are in this match.

::O2::  Freak, you’re a high school dropout.

::FN1::  Yeah, but I’m the good kind that dropped out to follow my passion and become a huge gigantic success in my industry.

::O2::  Right, anyway, you were saying?  The Scavengers are in the match.

::FN1::  So these guys like to jump people from behind and outnumber them to “send a message”.  What do you think they’re going to do when every other team has two people and there are no rules?  Sure, two of them are going to be active, but there’s nothing to stop the third member from getting involved.  Right from the start, you and Zex and the other two teams are at a huge disadvantage.  You already have to keep your head on a swivel with six other guys in this match looking to take you out, now you’re throw in a seventh who’s trying to help one of the teams win?  You need something to level the playing field a little bit.

::O2::  Okay, I’m on board with that, I guess.  Those guys are pretty ridiculous.  They claim they want to send a message, but the only message they’re sending is that they’re scared to face anyone in a fair fight.  They tried to take me and Zex out of this match at Revolution and they succeeded in making sure Vermont’s Finest wouldn’t make it to Master of the Mat.

::FN1::  Eh, they might have done us a favor there.  The last thing you want as a black man is to be throwing punches at a police officer.

::O2::  There’s no way those guys are racist.  They’re from Vermont.  You and I are probably the first black people they’ve ever seen.  Anyway, I want to see what this is all about.  Let’s get on with it.

Freak just motions for Omar to follow him as he heads in the front door of the office building, which leads to a gorgeous atrium with a rather large water feature that reaches all the way up to the second story of the building.  The roar of the fountain coupled with the marble floors make up a cacophony that is difficult to hear over.  Because of this, Omar can’t even hear the exchange Freak has with the receptionist at the front desk sitting behind a big sign in an incredibly cool and innovative font that says “Hendo – a subsidiary of Arx Pax”.  After a few moments, a man in a suit comes from the elevator to greet Freak and Omar.  Again, Omar can’t hear what he’s saying, but Freak seems very pleased.  They make their way to the elevator and once the doors close, Omar is happy to have his fifth sense back.

::O2::  I bet your receptionist hopes you offer full coverage on ear care.

::Man::  I’m sorry?

::O2::  Her ears must be ringing when she goes home every night.

::Man::  Hendo is a start-up, but Arx Pax offers fully comprehensive health and dental care packages. 

Omar glares at Freak because the man clearly didn’t get his joke, but Freak is in lalaland right now, taking in the corporate atmosphere.

::O2::  I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name downstairs.  I must not have been listening as closely as I should have.

::Man::  *without any sense of irony*  Oh, it’s no problem.  My name is Greg.  I’m the CEO and Founder of Hendo.

::O2::  CEO, huh?  I hope we didn’t waste your time with our visit.

::Greg::  Nah, glad-handing and sweet-talking people who could help our company get off the ground is part of the gig.

That last part catches Omar a little by surprise and he starts to wonder just what Freak has signed him up for.  Did Freak offer up Omar’s services as spokesperson for a product without ever running it by Omar first? That’s not something he’s done before, but it also wouldn’t be too surprising.  The elevator doors open up to another lavishly designed reception area, though this one is unmanned.  Behind the reception area, there are two doors.  Greg leads them through the one on the left, which opens up to a design lab, in which three engineers are working feverishly on computers and graphing paper.  Omar tries to see what they’re working on, but all he can make out are some crazy equations that are far beyond what he saw in high school calculus.

::FN1::  The operation looks great.  When can we get our hands on one?

::Greg::  Just give me one second.  I’ll grab one from the back.

Finally, Omar is going to see what they’re here for.  His head is spinning with possibilities.  They’re meeting with the CEO of a company who is sucking up to them, there are engineers working on something that’s clearly high-tech, and it’s all been incredibly secretive.  Greg returns from wherever he disappeared to, clutching something behind his back.  When he is next to Freak, he pulls what he’s holding out from behind him and shows to Freak a…

::O2::  …skateboard with no wheels?

::Greg::  Exactly!

He brandishes it for Freak and Omar to inspect it, running one hand along it like Vanna White in a three-piece suit.  Omar looks on incredulously while Greg hands it over to Freak to inspect.  Freak looks like a kid in a candy store as he holds it up close to his face and eyes every millimeter of the…toy?  Finally, after having a long enough look, he tosses it straight out from him.  It clangs on the floor rather loudly.

::FN1::  What the hell?

::O2::  Freak!

::Greg::  No, no…you can’t do that.

Freak bends over and retrieves it and starts inspecting it again, looking for something in particular.

::FN1::  Is there a switch or something?  Do I need to turn it on?

::O2::  Freak, what is the matter with you?

::FN1::  It’s supposed to hover?

::O2::  Hover?

::FN1::  Yeah, it’s a Hoverboard!  But it’s really just a board because this one doesn’t hover.

::O2::  What is a Hoverboard?

::Greg::  Imagine a skateboard that never touches the ground.  Instead, you hover and you can cross any surface: asphalt, concrete, grass, snow, ice…water!  Short-distance travel will be changed forever.  The Hoverboard will deliver where the Segway failed.  Unfortunately, the one you’re looking at right now is just a non-functioning model.

::FN1::  Can we go into the testing lab and see a real one?

::Greg::  There are no functioning ones yet.

::FN1::  What?  Why not?

::Greg::  If you contribute to our Kickstarter, we’ll be closer to our goal of a Hoverboard prototype that can be used as the basis for mass production.

::FN1::  Kickstarter?  Are you kidding?  We need a Hoverboard in the next few days.

::Greg::  Oh no, that’s not possible.  I’m afraid we’re still a few years away from a working Hoverboard.  However, as an investor in our product, you’ll be a part of history.

::FN1::  Well, can we keep this one?

Freak holds up the model Hoverboard.

::Greg::  With a $10,000 contribution, you will become a Gold member of our investment team and will receive a model Hoverboard, a crystal plaque commemorating your involvement in the invention of the first Hoverboard, and I will tweet out a special thanks to you to my 33,000 followers.

::FN1::  Omar and I have 10 million followers combined.

::Greg::  Oh…well…I…

::O2::  9 million of them are mine and 800 thousand of his are bots he paid some hacker to make for him.

::Greg::  Remember the feeling you had when you watched Back to the Future 2 and Marty strapped into that Hoverboard?  If you were anything like me, you wished you could toss your skateboard into garbage and hop on one of these.  If you invest in our company, that dream will become a reality.

::FN1::  Take a look at us, Greg.  Do we look like we were skateboarders as kids?

::O2::  I’m sorry, Greg.  This is what I meant when I said I hope we wouldn’t waste your time.

::Greg::  But we’re just 10% away from our goal with a week to go!  Your contribution could put us over the edge!

::O2::  Tell Arx Pax to pick up the difference.

::Greg::  They’re providing the salaries of our staff.  It’s up to us to raise the funds to produce the product.

::O2::  Well, Greg, I hate to break it to you, but you’re barking up the wrong tree.  I think it’s best if Freak and I make our way back to Las Vegas.

Greg looks more than a little dejected as the two of them head towards the exit.  They must have forgotten the way out, however, as they take the second door behind the receptionist they didn’t go in before, revealing thousands of square feet of unfurnished office space.  No cubicles, no desks, no chairs, just telecommunication wires hanging loosely from the ceiling.

::O2::  Man, this company sure puts up a good front.

The back out of the room and head towards the elevator and we meet them again as they’re walking towards the car.

::O2::  You brought me here for nothing!

::FN1::  I thought it was a good idea!

::O2::  What, you thought I could just hover up to the tag titles hanging above the ring?

::FN1::  Yeah, that…or I could hover my ass on out of their if the Scavengers came after me again.

::O2::  We drove a twenty year old car seven hours to get here.

::FN1::  It held up!

::O2:: Through Death Valley.

::FN1::  Maybe we should get a tune-up before heading back.

::O2::  And even worse than that, through FRESNO!!!

::FN1::  I have no excuse for that.

::O2::  I’m flying back.

::FN1::  Look, this is second opportunity to make a name for yourself in SHOOT.  You came up short against Entragian and I wanted to make sure you and Zex take home the tag team titles.

::O2::  I like our chances against any of those teams.   Zex is a master of ladder matches and I’ve won a couple of them myself.  Our skills lend perfectly to this type of match.  Anarchy is right that the fact they’ve never been in a ladder match won’t matter much.  If you’ve been in a No-DQ match and you’ve climbed a ladder, you can pretty much guess what it’s going to be like.  Zex isn’t so good at ladder matches because he’s been in a bunch.  He’s good at them because he’s agile, no stranger to using weapons, and can take more punishment than anyone I’ve ever seen and keep ticking.  And as for me…

::FN1::  You get to use your chokehold on Anarchy…

::O2::  You mean my totally LEGAL chokehold that has been my finisher since I started in this business?

::FN1::  Uh-oh…you’re starting to sound like the NYPD a little bit.

::O2::  The point is, Zex and I are the perfect combination of speed, power, high impact moves, and heart to win not only a ladder match, but any tag team match.  We’ll take on all three Scavengers, an increasingly suspect Anarchy and a team of Hollywood Hardcore that seems less and less interested in the tag titles every week and I think we’ll come out on top.  I know that we can do it and it’ll be the start of a rejuvenation of the tag division.

::FN1::  You might even say you’ll hover above the competition.

::O2::  No, I won’t say that.

The two of them climb back into the car and drive away.