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Author Topic: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback  (Read 2170 times)

T

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Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« on: July 09, 2013, 12:43:08 PM »
I'll go ahead and get this started for this cycle since my feedback has been lacking the last couple of cycles. I'll keep this thread updated as I continue to read what is posted.

Trey Willett - The Greatest Rivalry Never Told

I really liked the way this RP started, with a short recap of how Trey/Orion ended at MOTM (since the match has yet to go up to my knowledge). Also, it's pretty cool to see the Trey is "happy" that Dan Stein won the WHC and "made it." Then we get a surprise visitor, but it's not quite revealed who it is. Is it Trey's wife? Or, is it someone else.?

I like Trey taking it back to 2010 and kind of showing how his opponent has evolved since then. I thought it was a really good way to sell Stein in this match. Instead of the usual listing of accomplishments, Trey kind of took things back and told us what he used to think of Stein and how the character has evolved into something much more than what he thought Stein was.

The second "story" part reveals that Trey's visitor is none other than "The Real Deal" Josh Johnson. At least that's what I'm assuming. I really dug the way they just talk like friends should, but keep it in the context of wrestling. And the way Josh kind of tells Trey to let the past go in a roundabout way. Then we see that he personally delivers the news that Trey gets a WHC match. To some of the newer guys, this might not be significant, but to me it is, given the Trey character's history. Especially with his more recent history in 2011/2012. It's like Trey has a new chance at the WHC. A chance to redeem himself.

The last portion was a good way to bring things back up to speed and has Trey laying it down for Stein. He tells him that he's coming for the gold. Overall I thought this RP was really well done. It's good to see the cycle starting off on a strong note after we had a bit of a summer lull in the last cycle. I hope to see the work this cycle come out strong.

Elizabeth Gaunt - The End of Entragian

This shit was downright awesome. Let me elaborate. Throughout the whole piece, it came off as just so... real. Like, this whole Corazon/Isaac thing is getting to a point where it's becoming real. Obviously the overarching concept is within the confines of a wrestling promotion, but Josh and Jer are really pushing the boundaries in a good way. In this piece, we see a real life scenario where Entragian is rushed to the hospital after Master of the Mat. And we see it through the twisted eyes of Liz Gaunt. The way she reacts to what is happening is probably a legit real life reaction to the situation. And "seeing" Isaac like this is unsettling to say the least.

The promo portion continues this. It's nice that Jer didn't just cut a deep and scathing promo on Tanya. I really enjoyed how he's got the "I'm supposed to work when the person I love is in critical condition" vibe going on. It really makes for an interesting promo piece. And, knowing Liz Gaunt's mindset, this match is going to be very interesting. Fantastic work, as usual Jer.

Well, other than my own promo, which I won't feedback for obvious reasons, that's all that's up so far. I'll add more as the promos go up and offer any feedback I can.


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Entragian

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2013, 03:23:51 PM »
Trey Willett - The Greatest Rivalry Never Told
Trey is such a master wordsmith when it comes to setting a fully realized scene. As a reader he draws me RIGHT into the setting...I can see those blades of grass in Trey's backyard, I can feel the motion of the wooden swing...it's just such a scene of Americana that will resonate with just about anyone. I really enjoyed Trey touching on the history he has with Stein, how far Stein has come as a competitor and the evolution of the Golden Boy over the past year, you really get the idea that these two know each other really well. Definitely a strong showing from Trey.

Anarchy w/Loco- Guilty Appetizers
I fucking loved this. Anarchy chilling at Applebees after retaining the tag belts at the PPV, and Loco conflicted over his involvement in the Corazon/Entragian saga. Loco is one of my favorites faces EVER because he is just so likable...the compassion he feels even for a despicable villain like Entragian makes me like him even more. I really enjoyed the discussion of morality that kinda went on here regarding what Corazon did to Isaac, it reminded me of a really good episode of TWD where the lines of morality/basic human goodness are kinda blurred in really desperate times.

This line literally gave me goosebumps.

T.Rex:  Do you think SCAR worried for Corazon when the blowtorched his BACK?!  Do you think for a single solitary fuggin' second they sit there and rub their hands together, fretting about anyone of our well being?  Our safety?  Our health?  Our happiness? 

He pauses for emphasis despite all the questions being rhetorical. He then punctuates as only Theodore Rexx can.

T.Rex: FUGG.  NO! 

Loco sighs and his eyes find Teddy's.  They narrow.

Loco Martinez:  Of course they don't, Teddy.  SCAR doesn't care about other people.  Remember, Ted.  We're not SCAR.


Loco saying "we're not SCAR" really says it all in that bit. Loco and Anarchy DO care, they're good-hearted guys, Loco especially...and I love the conflicted element that comes into play where deep down they KNOW that in order to stop Entragian something drastic had to be done, but they didn't realize how far Corazon was willing to go and now it kinda sinks in that they played a part in something so violent and horrible...but still something done for the greater good of SHOOT Project. I love deep shit like this, haha. Really looking forward to the match vs LES BIEN (omg yes)

Soldier of Glory- Dan Stein
This felt like the culmination of months and months of obsession...such a large portion of Stein's life and career devoted to toppling a colossal World Champion like King and finally making his way to the top of the mountain. I really like the bit where Stein puts on that Golden Boy face for the public and makes a huge show of arrogance about winning the big one...but when he's alone he allows all that emotion to purge out of him and he just cries while holding the World Title. It's like in that one moment while he's alone in his locker room...he realizes the weight of of how fucking BIG this accomplishment is for him. Dan Stein has made it. Dan Stein is THE MAN...and seeing him realize that with tears in his eyes just makes it feel so legit. I love a villain that actually shows sparks of humanity...and Greg has always been great about showing us the most private, pivotal moments of Stein's career.

The trash talk was classic, delicious Stein...arrogance through the roof...JUSTIFIED arrogance and letting the whole world know that he's the World Champion and he intends to keep it that way. This is gonna be a money main event and I'm really looking forward to it.

Sin City: Past & Present- Jacob Mephisto
I feel like this roleplay was all about making Jacob's heel side SHINE...that was the general vibe I got. Such a sly serpent of a character that likes to twist things around and paint convincing negatives onto the accomplishments of others. I enjoyed him running down the respective SCCS paths that both he and Crippler took to be become SCCS winners, and Jacob actually implying that it wasn't X-Calibur who lead to SHOOT's decline...it was CRIPPLER who's responsible for that dark period of SHOOT's history? Holy fuck, man...that is just so HEEL, haha. I love it. It's such a typical Mephisto thing to do to try and flip the framework of a positive accomplishment and try to tarnish it and say that his accomplishment means more than yours, and tbh that's a really unique way to shit all over a face character. :p This match will be all kinds of epic, and considering I was one of the guys that voted for this one in my Soldier's Selections I'm REALLY stoked to see these two Sin City warriors battle it out.








DrezzyF2T

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2013, 03:49:38 PM »
Conor Caden - "Fellation (Confessional)"
I'm digging this man. He has all the trademarks of the kind of nihilistic bastard with a strange sense of morality and propriety that I adore in fictional characters, it's obvious that the handler has some decent taste in tunes (FIEND CLUB FOR LIFE), and I loved the opening interaction between Conor and the Priest, but something about this felt a little...I dunno, "off"?

The formatting here is a bit bland. It's obvious which part is the little background story and which part is the promo itself, but nothing was eye-catching beyond the little ninja image to separate the two. I'd suggest at least making the character names bold when they're speaking just so that it stands out a bit more.

The promo itself was pretty solid trash talk that simultaneously puts over the opponent while also showing that Conor, himself, doesn't exactly feel threatened by him. It's a hard dichotomy to strike, but I think it was struck just fine here. One thing that took me out of it, though, was how...forced?...much of it seemed to be. Conor comes across more as somebody attempting to be a badass nihilistic shitkicker than actually just being one, if you get what I'm saying, with lines like...
Quote
I have no morals, dude.

I take your morals... roll 'em up... and smoke 'em.
...seem more like something a cartoon villain would say (not line-for-line, but the spirit of it) than an adult who literally has no morals. It could also hint at Conor merely playing a role and not believing wholly in what he says, so I'm not knocking it too much. This possibility also seems to be emphasized by the ending line, which is a bit too derivative of Rorschach's opening speech. I'm not saying that aping a key line from such a great comic book character is bad, per se, but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. Props for modifying it just right to fit both the character of Conor and the basic plot of the promo itself, though, while also antagonizing the obviously high amount of faith in your opponent.

I like this Conor Caden character and I'm excited to see where you take him.

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Skylar

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2013, 05:56:09 PM »
A lot of the feedback on the first few roleplays that I agree with in regard to the individual performances.  I’ll just smile and nod with respect to Willett, Gaunt, Mephisto, and ANARCHY.  Not going to talk about my own, and it’d be weird to review Napalm’s, at least until after the RPing is over.

I’ll add that I think that Trey vs Stein is doing an excellent job of being newbie friendly, or at least being friendly to those who don’t remember every last detail about their history.

I already talked to TMB separately about his RP after he asked and when I noted that it seemed like it took some information for granted and didn’t explain things fully, he said that it was based in the character’s history.  But TMB didn’t say a lot about it, nor did the narration outside of his own words.  It’s not wrong that he didn’t  do those things, but without a reference point I don’t know where to go back to read to see what other prior supplemental materials are necessary to fully get it.

Compare that to Stein vs Willett… they give me all the highlights without me having to scan aimlessly through RPs and shows to find out when they faced each other.  That was a nice thing.  And since that history is important to both characters and integral to both the match and their confidence levels and approaches to addressing each other, that I could more quickly and easily understand where both men were coming from with respect to their history was very helpful to immediately absorb their points.

On to RPs that have not been reviewed…

Maya Nakashima has the popular image of being all Rudy with “I may not be big but I have heart!”  But here, he’s showing limits to that.  He recognizes that he’s getting rewarded for his character and consistency with title shots, but he would rather win off of one title shot than fail at three or eight or fifteen.  That’s getting to him here, but he’s still defending himself against those who would complain about him.  So it’s not even that he has a big heart but that he’s his own biggest critic and he would very much appreciate it if some people would keep his name out their mouths.  I wonder when he’s going to make it a point to start closing those mouths for those certain people.

With King/Corazon together, it’s the past and present meeting up together.  Just like with Trey and Stein, they make just enough reference to prior events that you can tell the history without getting into a thorough retelling of everything.  That works well – you want to read back, you have some idea of what to look for and roughly when to look for it.  The two men coming together and acknowledging that they were both a part of one of the biggest nights ever for SHOOT, for different but connected reasons, made all the sense in the world.  I will say Donovan King’s diction, which normally is pretty average for how people talk until he dips into his accent, if that’s the best way to say it, sometimes strikes me since it’s not actually that often.  That’s probably what the writer was going for.  In terms of subject matter it felt like they were trying to convince themselves of what they were saying at times, as the words were coming out of their mouths.

With Conor Caden’s piece, he needs to be careful.  The whole “titles aren’t his bag, cat-daddy” thing might seem like a fair way to play off a losing effort, but at the same time there’s two counters to that argument: first, the audience might be best entertained by him winning a title, in which case he’s not really endeavoring to give them what they want.  If the point was “I’m entertaining you people on my terms whether you like it or not” then that might be a save, but I didn’t get that.  Second, I feel that it’s iffy territory to get into not wanting championships.  You can entertain people in much safer ways than wrestling – why be a professional athlete if at some point you’re not wanting to win any championships?  You’re effectively wasting people’s time, and potentially wasting a spot in the big leagues that another person might deserve more and would work harder to make the most out of.  Beyond that, I could’ve done without the opening confessional mostly because it’s an overdone cliché and nothing in it particularly felt uniquely Conor about it.  Everybody who goes to a confessional has been out a long time and everybody has a litany of sins that strike awe/fear into the person sitting behind the screen.  If Conor was going for a contrarian gimmick/scene I know there’s a lot more he could have done with this based on his imagination.  Not bad, just not feeling like it was him firing on all cylinders.  Then for the promo, I was okay with it, maybe for the reasons that Laz mentioned.  I also felt like it was trying too hard to be counter to Jerry Matthews but I felt like that was the point.  Caden thinks that the fans like it best when he’s doing these kinds of promos and so he just slaps stuff against the wall because why not?  You’ve seen other wrestlers, do what they do.   If that’s really what Conor was going for, then he pulled it off well IMO.  But that’s for him to answer, if he wants.

Though… if he really did hang out with Andy Dick, Caden automatically ascends to the highest echelons of megaheeldom.

I’m at work, but when I get home I’ll try to give some mention on the CD roleplays put up.  Don’t want to neglect those.

Conor Caden

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2013, 06:00:42 PM »
Conor Caden - "Fellation (Confessional)"
I'm digging this man. He has all the trademarks of the kind of nihilistic bastard with a strange sense of morality and propriety that I adore in fictional characters, it's obvious that the handler has some decent taste in tunes (FIEND CLUB FOR LIFE), and I loved the opening interaction between Conor and the Priest, but something about this felt a little...I dunno, "off"?

The formatting here is a bit bland. It's obvious which part is the little background story and which part is the promo itself, but nothing was eye-catching beyond the little ninja image to separate the two. I'd suggest at least making the character names bold when they're speaking just so that it stands out a bit more.

The promo itself was pretty solid trash talk that simultaneously puts over the opponent while also showing that Conor, himself, doesn't exactly feel threatened by him. It's a hard dichotomy to strike, but I think it was struck just fine here. One thing that took me out of it, though, was how...forced?...much of it seemed to be. Conor comes across more as somebody attempting to be a badass nihilistic shitkicker than actually just being one, if you get what I'm saying, with lines like...
Quote
I have no morals, dude.

I take your morals... roll 'em up... and smoke 'em.
...seem more like something a cartoon villain would say (not line-for-line, but the spirit of it) than an adult who literally has no morals. It could also hint at Conor merely playing a role and not believing wholly in what he says, so I'm not knocking it too much. This possibility also seems to be emphasized by the ending line, which is a bit too derivative of Rorschach's opening speech. I'm not saying that aping a key line from such a great comic book character is bad, per se, but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. Props for modifying it just right to fit both the character of Conor and the basic plot of the promo itself, though, while also antagonizing the obviously high amount of faith in your opponent.

I like this Conor Caden character and I'm excited to see where you take him.

appreciate the feedback dude.

and I was totally ripping off of Rorschach, but in the way that conor actually "whispers" it and is trying hard to make sure the viewer knows hes ripping it off.  hes just that kind of tard I s'pose



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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2013, 08:26:38 PM »
King's speech (pun intended) is meant to weave in and out of his dialect.  If you've ever seen Valkyrie, it opens with everyone speaking in German before is slowly fades into English so you could watch it and understand it.  To keep King from being a caricature (since the accent is supposed to be thick), I go in and out.  He's smart, he knows how to speak, but when he gets animated and emotional, it tends to slip back.  Same for me, really.  A lot of people complained early on when I kept it throughout the work, so I slowly started easing out of it.

Thanks for the feedback, it helps me to know what is and isn't working with King.






CadeSydal

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2013, 10:22:00 PM »
King's dialect is hot. That is all.

Skylar

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2013, 10:38:10 PM »
King's speech (pun intended) is meant to weave in and out of his dialect.  If you've ever seen Valkyrie, it opens with everyone speaking in German before is slowly fades into English so you could watch it and understand it.  To keep King from being a caricature (since the accent is supposed to be thick), I go in and out.  He's smart, he knows how to speak, but when he gets animated and emotional, it tends to slip back.  Same for me, really.  A lot of people complained early on when I kept it throughout the work, so I slowly started easing out of it.

Thanks for the feedback, it helps me to know what is and isn't working with King.

So it's kinda like when they had Booker T as King Booker.  Cool.

B

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2013, 10:49:07 PM »
King's dialect is hot. That is all.

*swoon*

You people are killing it with your RPs this cycle, btw.  Makes it so hard to judge if I didn't just flip coins in the first place.






DrezzyF2T

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2013, 04:29:59 AM »
You people are killing it with your RPs this cycle, btw.  Makes it so hard to judge if I didn't just flip coins in the first place.

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2013, 12:10:15 PM »
I mean the blue named common rabble.  Clearly.

Or, conversely, everybody in SHOOT who wears blackface.






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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2013, 03:47:14 PM »
And that's why Dave is my favorite storyteller.

Welcome back, Mr. Amazing. I missed you.







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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2013, 06:03:58 PM »
And that's why Dave is my favorite storyteller.

Welcome back, Mr. Amazing. I missed you.

Seconded.

Dave with a triumphant return, so happy about that.  Love the idea of Carver being incarcerated in Apodaca Prison all this time in Mexico, fits the idea I have of Carver in my head as this gravel in his guts old West outlaw type. This main event is gonna be fuckin' incredible!






SV

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2013, 03:01:30 AM »
Jiggy gets a huge thumbs up from me for the twin peaks ref.



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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2013, 08:56:28 AM »
I've been re-watching the series, and as I finished the roleplay I told myself "I think I've got me a title..."  :-[ A huge thumbs up from me, for Sam, for knowing the reference!  8)

P.S. I will be delivering feedback, soon!!


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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2013, 05:23:46 AM »
I'll be dropping some feedback in here tonight...On a personal note, I wouldn't mind some feedback on my first...



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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2013, 12:04:33 PM »
Valentine's RP: Personally I'm not sold on your formatting style at all. Colored Text for speech is great. But if you are going to do that don't use the *action* as well and don't insert it into the middle of the talking bits and still colored.

The color means you don't need *action* at all because there is already something to distinguish speech from description. Unless I am misreading the whole RP and Valentine really is saying "Asterik I grab her hand and lick her fingers like a pervert Asterik" then by all means keep going.

Content wise... it was good but I'd rather see what Valentine does when he's not being a douchebag to other wrestlers. The "not blatant match promo" parts are a great place to show the other sides of your character and to flesh them out. What does Valentine prefer to eat? What are his favorite TV shows? Books? Does he play video games? Write GoT Slashfics? I don't know and I would like to.

Lucy Blaylock

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #17 on: July 20, 2013, 09:46:40 AM »
DOMINION

Mephisto-A real thrill to work with Tim this week, no doubt about it. Sin City Past and Present was a great read, even if Tim went full on dick mode and blamed Crippler for the near demise for SHOOT. A great heel tactic if I ever saw one, and it will be interesting to see how our match goes down. We've been throwing ideas back and forth all week, and I can't wait to see the finished product. Also, very nice to sit down with Tim and bust out a joint RP for this match. Not something I've done before in a non-tag match setting, so that was fun. Hope you guys enjoyed our work this week.

King/Corazon
This was a beautiful piece, and shows what can be crafted when you got two of the best writers, hands down, working together. Another interesting joint promo, considering these two are part of the three way main event at Dominion, but not a combination that really, truly surprises me, given my knowledge of the handlers, and the characters history. That history gets touched on, briefly, as does their seperate goings on at Master of the Mat. And look! They mention Diamond Del Carver! lol

King is alright with Stein beating him, since he did it clean, which is a mark of a true babyface champion. You don't have to like you got beat, but the fact is, he has to respect that Stein didn't screw him out of the title. And with Corazon, knowing the path he has to walk to take down SCAR, knowing that maybe there isn't anyone else in SHOOT who is willing to go to his lengths was good.

As for the match input itself, it's not hard to think of DDC as a ghost, and that isn't a crack on his age. Last time Carver was in the ring, Isaac had pretty much broken him. All of a sudden, here he comes again. Three of the biggest names in SHOOT history are going to collide, and I can't wait.

TMB #1
What I got from his first RP was focus, pure and simple. He's focused on this brutal match coming up against one of the most brutal in SHOOT's recent history, the Manster Sammy Rochester. TMB is psyching himself up, mentally and physically preparing himself for a life changing war. Good to see TMB wanting to fight for himself, for a change, and Sammy needs to watch the fuck out.

Caden #1
Glad to see Caden back in action. I don't know what was with his one post, but this week shows it looks to be a one time thing, which is good, because this character had a lot of steam going into Master of the Mat, and I'd like to see him get that back. He came out swinging for Jerry Matthews this week with his first, and the line between the characters is not fine at all, but it makes for a great story that I can't wait to see get told.

Caden accentuates the differences between the two competitors in this post, and I think he did a good job

Diamond Del Carver
Do not get me wrong. I enjoyed this piece tremendously. I love the fact we were getting a glimpse into where Del has been, how he's come back. But this was not a RP for me. A great read, yes. But nothing about the match at all. No mention of King or Corazon. And Del is no longer allowed in Mexico. Looks like Mark Kendrick will have someone to hang out with when SHOOT goes south of the border again!

Welcome back, Dave. Can't wait to see you get back into the swing of things.

Lunatikk Crippler
His work this week was a MUST READ. I thought he mixed his words well, and is deserving of becoming a two time Sin City Champion. Tim is a dick.

Mr. Ocelot #1
Ocelot's first challenge in SHOOT, and he came out BLAZING. I think what I take from this read is that Ocelot is VERY confident in his abilities, BUT understands that this is still new territory for him, and he has to go out and prove himself. Show each and every member of the roster what he's capable of, and prove that he belongs with the upper echelon in this company. A really good read.

more later. I promise.

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #18 on: July 20, 2013, 04:20:12 PM »
Diamond Del Carver
Do not get me wrong. I enjoyed this piece tremendously. I love the fact we were getting a glimpse into where Del has been, how he's come back. But this was not a RP for me. A great read, yes. But nothing about the match at all. No mention of King or Corazon. And Del is no longer allowed in Mexico. Looks like Mark Kendrick will have someone to hang out with when SHOOT goes south of the border again!

Welcome back, Dave. Can't wait to see you get back into the swing of things.

Thank you very much.  ;D

Sadly, I did have a patented Diamond Del Carver, "I'm gonna rip you a new happy-hole" promo all done, directed at Corazon (and King, to a much lesser extent) when I got a message from B saying he was going out of town so he wouldn't be able to post a second.  I knew Josh wouldn't post another promo because of this, so I reluctantly decided not to post my second, which really would have been my first promo...because as you said, the first part, and the storyline post later in the week were really just building up to the promo that never got posted.

It sucks, but what can you do?

I volunteered to be part of these Soldier's Selection shows because I knew I would be available, but I am not 100% sure if DDC will be sticking around SHOOT after or not.  I would like to see some resolution of the issues between he and Isaac, but other than that...time will tell.  I truly don't know what I will be doing from this point on.  I wanted to come back for this show, but it hasn't gone off as well as I'd hoped, so we will have to wait and see.

Sincere thanks to those that took the time to read my two posts though, and were kind enough to leave feedback.  After this long away it is really cool to know people still care about the character, and that I haven't totally lost the ability to write for him.



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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #19 on: July 20, 2013, 04:32:22 PM »
Feel free to post that 2nd promo, if you want.  I'm sorry we weren't able to get a 2nd up.  We were going to joint for it, but with him going out of town, you're right, I wasn't going to do a 2nd.

I loved the story stuff, for what it's worth.

Diamond Del Carver

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #20 on: July 20, 2013, 04:43:03 PM »
We were going to joint for it

OMG YOU AND B ARE HOOKED ON THE MARIJUANA REEFER DRUGS!

I may use part of my promo that I wrote as a segment for the show...OR...can we haz rematch plz?



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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #21 on: July 20, 2013, 06:46:54 PM »
I don't see why not.

B

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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #22 on: July 20, 2013, 10:08:09 PM »
Diamond Del Carver
Do not get me wrong. I enjoyed this piece tremendously. I love the fact we were getting a glimpse into where Del has been, how he's come back. But this was not a RP for me. A great read, yes. But nothing about the match at all. No mention of King or Corazon. And Del is no longer allowed in Mexico. Looks like Mark Kendrick will have someone to hang out with when SHOOT goes south of the border again!

Welcome back, Dave. Can't wait to see you get back into the swing of things.

Thank you very much.  ;D

Sadly, I did have a patented Diamond Del Carver, "I'm gonna rip you a new happy-hole" promo all done, directed at Corazon (and King, to a much lesser extent) when I got a message from B saying he was going out of town so he wouldn't be able to post a second.  I knew Josh wouldn't post another promo because of this, so I reluctantly decided not to post my second, which really would have been my first promo...because as you said, the first part, and the storyline post later in the week were really just building up to the promo that never got posted.

It sucks, but what can you do?

I volunteered to be part of these Soldier's Selection shows because I knew I would be available, but I am not 100% sure if DDC will be sticking around SHOOT after or not.  I would like to see some resolution of the issues between he and Isaac, but other than that...time will tell.  I truly don't know what I will be doing from this point on.  I wanted to come back for this show, but it hasn't gone off as well as I'd hoped, so we will have to wait and see.

Sincere thanks to those that took the time to read my two posts though, and were kind enough to leave feedback.  After this long away it is really cool to know people still care about the character, and that I haven't totally lost the ability to write for him.

If my inability to work on a second RP in any way damaged your ability to bring DDC back in the way you had wanted, I'm sincerely sorry for that.  Truth be told I sat there for days before I had to leave trying to find something to say that hadn't already been said in my first RP with Josh that wouldn't just be retreaded and trite and kept coming up with nothing.  It felt odd to try to cut a promo about Carver being in Mexican prison, and would have been as hard to read as it would have been to write.

Hopefully you won't let my writer's block serve as an ill omen and will continue to give Carver a new lease on his life.  :(






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Re: Revolution 114 & Dominion 10 RP Feedback
« Reply #23 on: July 21, 2013, 06:05:20 AM »
Barring any unknown circumstances, I'll have RP feedback today sometime (probably after I wake up).

We've been on a roll quality wise. Good stuff from what I've perused.







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