MIDNIGHT COWBOYS MC Vs. The Murder Doves
If she wants to dance and drink all night,
Well there’s no one that can stop her!
She’s goin’ ’til the house lights come up
Or her stomach spills onto the floor!
Maria Madden: Wait… what!?
The REIGN crowd isn’t quite sure to process what is happening right now as “Thrash Unreal” by Against Me! plays over the speakers and, like a mirage appearing straight from the Las Vegas desert, Ayumi Seppuku walks out from the back and makes her way down to the ring.
Maria Madden: This is incredible! What a sight here tonight in the penultimate show ahead of Annihilation. The last time Ayumi Seppuku stepped foot in a SHOOT Project arena was in a loss to the Carolina Lions with her partner Lindsay Troy. Following a horrible accident, Ayumi has been on the mend and largely stayed away from the cameras. What is she doing here?
Mark Kendrick: I’m not sure Maria, hopefully we’re about to find out.
Ayumi slaps the outstretched hands of fans as she smiles and makes her way down and slides into the ring. The Hall of Famer shoots a look over to the announce table where Maria and Mark are sitting, almost staring the pair down before she calls for a microphone.
The fans are chanting loudly at the scene as Maria hesitates.
GIVE HER THE MIC! GIVE HER THE MIC! GIVE HER THE MIC!
As Maria stands up and walks over to hand Ayumi the microphone the crowd roars in approval.
Ayumi: What is up LOS ANGELES!?
The crowd pops.
Ayumi: WHAT IS UP REIGN!?
The crowd pops louder and begin another chant.
SEP-PU-KU! SEP-PU-KU! SEP-PU-KU!
Ayumi waves away the cheers but keeps a smile on her face as she takes in a big sigh and lets it out with a laugh.
Ayumi: I honestly forgot how much I missed this. How much I miss all of you. It’s been so incredibly hard being away these past eight months; especially watching this show right here become the launch pad of some truly outstanding fighters. I mean… “Golden” Burkhalter, am I right?
The crowd roars.
Avalanche Anderson.
The crowd cheers even louder.
CICADA!?
The crowd boos.
WOLF MAN!?
The crowd explodes with a convincing “Aroooooo” howl as Ayumi laughs.
Ayumi: Yes, exactly. That is exactly what I missed. Which is why I’m excited to announce here TONIGHT that I’ll be competing in my first match back! And I’m putting out the call to ANY member of the roster willing to take up the challenge to come out here right now and face me!
The crowd erupts as Ayumi lowers the microphone, taking a defensive stance – awaiting her first opponent in MONTHS only to have… Mark Kendrick roll into the ring, microphone in hand. He holds up his other hand in a “stop” motion as the crowd begins to grow unruly.
Mark Kendrick: Woah, woah, woah there Ayumi. We’re all happy to have you here tonight but you know you are NOT cleared to compete. Los Angeles is no different than Las Vegas.
The crowd showers boos down on Mark Kendrick who shakes his head in disappointment.
Mark Kendrick: Come on Ayumi. You’re smarter than this! You’re better than-
Ayumi raises her microphone and nearly snarls at Mark Kendrick.
Ayumi: Don’t you DARE tell me what or WHO I am better than. You’re no better than Lennox and Josh – putting on this sympathy act while keeping me away from the thing I need most right now. I understand Jamie Johnson got cleared and he was out, what? A month? Black Sheep Baez literally broke his neck and now he’s Premier champion! So don’t you dare tell me I shouldn’t be giving THESE people a show right here, RIGHT NOW.
The crowd goes ballistic as Ayumi lowers the microphone, begging Mark to do something. Instead he looks past Ayumi, behind her, and says something to her off mic that looks like “I’m sorry” before, coming from seemingly nowhere out of the crowd, a rush of security guards hop the barricades and flank the ring – drawing boos from the crowd.
Ayumi glares at Mark Kendrick before holding up her hands in a “give up” motion, saying one final word before she drops the microphone to the mat.
Ayumi: Unbelievable.
The Hall of Famer keeps her hands held high as Mark guides her out of the ring and into the protection of REIGN security as the crowd chants on her way out.
LET HER FIGHT!
LET HER FIGHT!
LET HER FIGHT!
Ayumi turns one of her hands into a fist, keeping it raised in the air as she is guided up the ramp and to the back of the arena.
Muratagi Hanzo Vs. Cromwell Yarbury
At the end of the match, Hanzo helps Yarbury get back to his feet, to the cheers of the Epicenter crowd! He pats Yarbury on the back, and the two chat amongst themselves as the crowd applauds the showing.
Mark Kendrick: Good showing from two former tag team partners, Maria. Yarbury and Hanzo were Breedlove’s enforcement and insurance policy not that long ago.
Maria Madden: Yep, but time’s change. Breedlove’s gone. Those two gotta stand on their own.
Before Maria gets her next words out, the arena goes DARK. The screen lights up with a golden sheen and a super over-embellished logo is emblazoned on the screen. It’s simply an “E”.
Mark Kendrick: Not sure what this is.
Neither are Yarbury and Hanzo, but Clark Feldman, apparently has some kind of clue as he hands both Hanzo and Yarbury a black envelope with the same golden “E” on the front. The two start to open them, but Feldman stops them and informs them that they must wait until they’re off camera.
Maria Madden: Weird, Mark. Any ideas?
Mark Kendrick: None at all, but you gotta get to the back, Maria. You’ve got an interview coming up in the next few moments with Slamurai!
We fade into the back Maria Madden stands next to Slamurai.
Maria Madden: We’re here with Slamurai to talk about-
All of the sudden, a short but chubby man dressed in a yellow cape, white crop top, white briefs, red handkerchief around his neck, and red, black, and yellow boots appears on the screen. In one arm is a black duck with a hat that sort of resembles Mickey Mouse from Fantasia, but its black, red, and yellow. He steals the microphone from Maria Madden with his free, non-duck hand, but does not say anything. Maria leans in to talk.
Maria Madden: Ummm…okay…who are you?
There is a big smile from this…guy with a duck.
The Damn Goober: I’ll tell yah, Maria, I’m THE DAMN GOOBAH! But the REAL question is…WHO DA FAWK is my friend here?
The microphone is in Maria’s face again. She is…confused? Annoyed? All of the above?
Maria Madden: Okay…who is your friend?
The Damn Goober: This is the FAWKIN’ magical duck that will take me to SHOOT GOLD. This is Major Duckington of Ducksberg the FIFTH. Real ROY-ALL-TEE. And me, I’m THA DAMN GOOBER, and I’ve come to SHOOT to FIGHT, FAWK, and GOOB.
Maria doesn’t seem to understand. Slamurai seems to understand even less.
Maria Madden: So…that means-
The Damn Goober: That means EVERYONE GETS GOOBED. The GOOB is comin’. You mess with the bull…YOU GET THE GOOB!
The Damn Goober leaves on that note, as if he has proven something, dropping the mic with a loud pop. Maria picks up the mic, patting it to make sure it still works, before returning to Slamurai.
Maria Madden: So…that was The Damn Goober? Anyway, Slamurai, thoughts?
Slamurai looks at Maria, looks at the camera, and then just walks away shaking his head.
Maria Madden: Okay, uhhh…Mark…back to you?
Ultimo Muerte Vs. The Northmen
Pandora ducks into the ring, carrying the Horizon Championship on her shoulder, as Ultimo Muerte stands in his taunt.
Maria Madden: Oh, no. There’s more. Why is there always more with these two?
As Muerte lowers his massive arms, Pandora stands next to him and puts the microphone to her mouth.
Pandora: Ultimo Muerte just put these two buffoons through Hell.
Maria Madden: And me.
Pandora cackles as she pulls the microphone away from her mouth. Ultimo Muerte crosses his arms over his chest.
Pandora: Months have passed since Mr. CICADA and Ultimo Muerte first laid hands on each other. Next Saturday, at REIGN Supercard “Total Annihilation”, it all comes to a head as Ultimo Muerte defends his Horizon Championship against the best that REIGN has to offer.
Maria Madden: Why did you do this to me, Mark?
Mark Kendrick: Ratings, Maria! Think of the ratings!
Maria Madden: Think of my heart!
Pandora adjusts Ultimo Muerte’s championship on her shoulder.
Pandora: At that time, Ultimo Muerte shows the world exactly the type of creature he is in a match made in Hell. Most men quiver at the thought of stepping into a steel cage, but Ultimo Muerte welcomes it. He’s been locked away in this Earthly prison for too long, and the violence he’ll display and the pain he’ll cause is the only reprieve from the torment he lives in every day.
Maria stammers on the headset before giving up. Pandora looks around the arena.
Pandora: Mr. CICADA, you ARE very impressive. You are also very naive. Do you think you’re walking into a cage with a monster? No. Ultimo Muerte is a demon, and this match is his homecoming. The Ten of Swords signaled your undoing. Ultimo Muerte won’t need to put ten swords in your back to put you down, but by the end of the match you’ll wish he had.
Pandora smiles sheepishly at the camera.
Pandora: REIGN faithful, are you believers?
The faithful in the arena erupt in cheers. Pandora continues to smile.
Pandora: By the end of Total Annihilation, EVERYONE will… believe… in Ultimo Muerte.
A second passes before the arena goes black. The ramp and aisles of the Epicenter light up a faint yellow color like flickering candles.
Maria Madden: I hope you’re happy, Mark.
Mark Kendrick: Absolutely giddy…yet terrified of what I’ve done.
“Inhumano” by Anna Fiori hits the PA system. Ultimo Muerte sits on the middle rope nearest the ramp and allows Pandora to exit the ring first before ducking under himself. The ramp illuminates their ascent to the backstage area.
CICADA Vs. MWR
CICADA looks down at Kummerspeck. He grabs their arms and looks like he is going to do the foot stomps again, but Fetterarsch charges in with a forearm shot. Fetterarsch lays into CICADA with forearm after forearm, eventually driving CICADA into the corner. They play to the crowd, looking for a big diving move, but CICADA dodges out of the way!
Mark Kendrick: Fetterarsch trying to stick up for his partner, but man, CICADA feels invincible.
As Kummerspeck stumbles from the corner, CICADA catches them with an ungodly accurate right hand. Kummerspeck collapses to the ground. CICADA is on them fast, grabbing both of their arms before looking into the audience.
Maria Madden: C’mon, this is over.
Mark Kendrick: You’ve made your point.
The crowd is mixed. Some cheer for more violence while others boo the bad sportsmanship and excessive force. None of this matters to CICADA. He proceeds to drive his boot into the face of Kummerspeck. After their face is sufficiently battered and bloodied, CICADA rolls into the triangle choke and delivers the heavy elbows. Kummerspecktaps immediately, but this is no match, and CICADA continues to batter. The referee tries to break this up, but CICADA continues to deliver punishment until he feels satisfied. Once Kummerspeck is beaten up to CICADA’s satisfaction, he releases the hold and pushes the unconscious body away.
Mark Kendrick: Okay, your point is made. You can beat up two guys at once.
CICADA’s point is apparently not made, as Fetterarsch is up. Fetterarsch is groggy and unaware of their surroundings, but this doesn’t matter. CICADA goes on the attack, launching punches.
Maria Madden: There’s absolutely no need for this.
After sufficiently peppering the opponent with punches, CICADA shoves them to their knees, grabs their arms, and NAILS the Kamigoye! As the opponent falls to the ground, CICADA lifts them up from the back and delivers a reverse Kamigoye! Fetterarsch is clearly out. CICADA moves to the middle of the ring and drops to his knees. He bows the SHOOTron as the lights go out.
Maria Madden: NO MORE SPOOKY NONSENSE!
The only light becomes the SHOOTron as The Speaker appears in all his creepy, uncanny valley self. He is full blue.
The Speaker: We hope you enjoyed that displa-ay-ay-ay. We hope this shows that only Ultimo Muerte is worthy of your attention. Please, my dear frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend, we ask that you release everything. Make us fear again. Make them fear again. Make them understand
T̘̯̗̖͍̘͉̊͊̋̄O̵̦̞͊͒̌͟͡͞Ț̢̬̭͈̇̾͗ͅA̸̖̜͑̿̎́͢͡Ḻ̶̱̻̼̥̏̂̾̊̚ ̙̤̆̿̑̎̔͊̃̕A̬̳̮̮͖̽͑͑̅͛͡N̷̢͉͒̊̿̓̉̕͘͠Ņ̡̛̞̙̺̫̿͑͞Ȋ̴͍̲͎̗͉̕Ḧ̸̩̅̎̂͝͡͏̬̦͆I̵̛͇̝͚̹͚͇͌͗͟͠Ļ̛̬̪̠͉͇̊̔̆͑͜A͖̜̬̖͂̑͠͞T̵̴̷̨͇̏̃I͏̧̭̖̰͖̤͒̓̚͏Ǫ̶̲̮̠͇̖̅̐̃͢Ṋ̹͙͚̿̌̽͑̇̓͟.
The screen goes dark for a few moments before becoming solid blue, creating a strange glow in the arena.
The Speaker: Life ends-ends-ends-ends-ends-ends in a flash of whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite, dark-dark-dark-dark-darkness, and…
Ë̩͓́͛̅́͘͢Ǹ̻͖͉̻͔̱͋ͅḌ̟̂̄͋͌̕͟Ļ̰̗̖̊̈̔̌͂͞͠͝Ȩ̳̝͊̾͒͞Ș͇̰͑́̂Ṡ̴͉̰̌̔ ̸̸͓̳̞́̌̈͊́͘͢B̢̘̄̌̿͒̇̈́͞L̺̞͉̟̀̄͠Ư̶̟̘͑͊̋̎̈́̕Ḙ̘͔̯͙̑͟͏̫
The screen goes completely blank, leaving the arena in absolute darkness. When the lights come on, CICADA is gone, only leaving the referee and two destroyed victims.
Mark Kendrick: Does this end at Total Annihilation? I kinda hope so.
Maria Madden: I ABSOLUTELY WANT THIS TO END AT TOTAL ANNIHILATION.
Mark Kendrick: We’re going to head backstage now where Maria Madden is standing by with REIGN World Champion, Viento Helado. Maria, take it away.
Maria Madden is backstage, sitting in a well decorated, minimalist looking area, in a comfy chair of course. Across from her is another comfortable chair and in that seat, as Mark Kendrick said, is the REIGN World Champion, Viento Helado.
Maria Madden: Viento, thanks for joining me here this evening.
Viento Helado: Of course, Maria. We’re in the rundown for Total Annihilation, why WOULDN’T I be here?
Maria Madden: That’s actually an interesting question, because the smart money is that you’re going to defend the REIGN World Championship against Rapture at Total Annihilation, but the fact of the matter is that nothing is signed yet, right?
Viento shifts in his chair.
Viento Helado: That’s correct. We’ve made some terms available to Johnny Brave and his client, after countless assaults and attacks on both me and my compadres in Furia Inviernal, but Johnny Brave is holding out. He believes that he and his client are owed more to challenge me.
Maria Madden: More?
Viento Helado: Your surprise is noted, Maria. Rapture and Johnny Brave are new to REIGN, new to the SHOOT Project, right?
Maria Madden: They are.
Viento Helado: So you’d think that they’d know that they do not have leverage in this situation. If anything, a match with me is going to do more for Rapture than it will do for me. He effectively has nothing to lose and everything to gain, so to put this?
He lifts the World Championship slightly.
Viento Helado: …on the line? On their terms? It makes no sense. What’s in it for me? Why would I bo–
“FUCKING GET HIM”
The interruption triggers Maria Madden to get the heck on up out of dodge as a boot, owned by Rapture, comes FLYING towards Viento Helado and drives into his face, sending the REIGN World Champion crashing to the ground! Rapture steps over the askew chair and reaches Helado in two steps. Helado scurries backwards trying to get to his feet, but Rapture pulls him up by the throat. Viento’s eyes are large as Rapture just shoves Helado into the wall, cracking the drywall with the impact!
Mark Kendrick: Someone’s gotta get back there! Where are the tag team champions?!
The screen splits in answer to Mark Kendrick’s question, showing REIGN’s tag team champions brawling in an Epicenter hallway with none other than the Willett Clan, and the Willett’s had the element of surprise on their side, managing to get the jump on Furia Inviernal. Meanwhile, Rapture has Helado shoved up against the wall and is just laying into his midsection, causing visible welts to form on his stomach and rib area.
Johnny Brave: You want to know what you get out of it, Helado!? You get NOTHING. You’re going to LOSE your World Championship and then you’re going to what? Fall off the grid, back into obscurity, while me and Rapture?
Helado’s bleeding from the mouth now as the split screen shows the Willett Clan standing over the fallen tag team champions, holding their belts into the air.
Johnny Brave: We’re going to walk out of Total Annihilation with your championship, because we accept! We’ve signed the dotted line! It’ll be Rapture challenging Viento Helado for the REIGN World Championship, and you should kiss that motherfucker goodbye, because you’re DONE.
DONE.
Rapture delivers one final blow to Helado, rendering him unconscious.
Johnny Brave: And don’t worry, Mark Kendrick, I’ll do your job too. Up next is our MAIN EVENT, where Maximo Fisico takes on Dan Stein with the Sexiest in SHOOT moniker on the line. Dumb stipulation if you ask me, Fisico is WAY hotter than Stein, but whatever. That match is NEXT. GET OUT OF HERE.
Dan Stein Vs. Maximo Fisico
