Revolution 177
Table of Contents
An Unexpected Surprise
Eryk Masters: We’re ready to officially kick off the final Revolution before Redemption with the… what is it now, OG? Fifth straight Shut Up and Fight title defense for Lexi Gold?
Other Guy: It’s up there, Eryk, which is a truly amazing feat. Lexi Gold is like the anti-Breedlove, putting her title on the line in every match she’s booked. And no one has been able to beat her yet, including the champion who had the belt prior, Dan Stein.
Eryk Masters: Well, I’d like to say that this matchup will be another challenge for Gold, but…
Other Guy: What, no love for the one and only Blaze Claymore?
Eryk Masters: You’re joking, right?
Other Guy: Oh, fuck yeah. Lexi’s gonna kill him.
Before the two announcers can continue, “Hero” by Chad Kroger and Josey Scott plays over the speakers.
Eryk Masters: Why am I not surprised?
Emerging from the back is none other than Kenny Canuck, one half of NAFTA and a good ‘friend’ of Blaze Claymore.
The fans don’t boo or cheer, but rather laugh as Kenny waves enthusiastically to the crowd before sliding into the ring and bringing a microphone up to his mask.
Kenny Canuck: SHOOT Project, I know you expected to see my friend Blaze Claymore here tonight, but as many of you may know, he has expressed a deep concern that his life may well be in danger if he were to show up tonight so I did the only thing I could think of as a true hero… step in and take on this important challenge for him.
The crowd claps politely at the gesture.
Other Guy: He knows we know right? Everyone knows it’s Blaze under that mask – I mean that was even his voice – in a bad Canadian accent.
Eryk Masters: I don’t know, OG, but… I suppose it’s not technically a substitution right? I mean whether he gets beaten as Blaze Claymore or “Kenny Canuck” Lexi will get her pound of flesh tonight.
No sooner as the words are spoken…”5 out of 6″ by Dessa hits and the crowd goes ape shit as the current Shut Up and Fight champion Lexi Gold bursts through the curtain. She stands there and holds up her title proudly before making her way down the ramp, already dressed in her ring gear. Her facial expression switches to a serious one once she eyes Kenny in the ring. She avoids the steps and decides to slide in the ring instead, then once there she walks over to grab another mic before standing across from him. She waits for her music to die before raising the mic to her lips.
Lexi Gold: Let me get this straight, Blaze decided to be a chicken shit once again. Instead of fighting me, he decided to hide and run away from the situation. Typical move from Claymore folks. Running and hiding solves nothing, so what now, Kenny? You decided to be the good guy and take his place? Do you realize what kind of position you put yourself in? You may think you made a good decision due to my title on the line, but honey, the way I see it, you have made the biggest mistake of your life.
Other Guy: Wait… does… Lexi has to know that’s actually Blaze in there, right? What is she doing?
Eryk Masters: Playing three-dimensional chess, OG. What better way to wound an egomaniac than Blaze than call his bluff.
Kenny Canuck gestures wildly to the fans… or perhaps just… gestures in a panic. Meanwhile, the referee is looking from Kenny to Lexi and decides to raise his arm, signaling the start of the match.
The bell rings and both competitors drop their microphones.
Eryk Masters: Here we go!
Kenny Canuck Vs. Lexi Gold
The Reveal
Following the match, an exhausted Lexi Gold goes to grab a microphone and looks down at Kenny Canuck. She breathes hard into the mic, and reaches down to grab a hold of ‘Candian’s’ mask.
Eryk Masters: Lexi is done playing games, OG!
Other Guy: Blaze Claymore has been pretty… insistent that it hasn’t been him under that mask but now it’ll be pretty hard to say otherwise.
Eryk Masters: Never underestimate the power of delusion, OG.
Lexi brings the microphone up to her lips.
Lexi Gold: Alright, Blaze, let’s show the world the truth.
Crowd: TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!
Other Guy: Alright, come on people, we’re not The Masked Singer, we’re reputable.
Eryk Masters: IT’S CHAD KYLE!
Other Guy: Excuse me? Breedlove just did this!
The crowd roars as a shocked-looking Chadwick Kyle scrambles away from Lexi Gold as she holds the “Kenny Canuck” mask in her hands looking annoyed.
Eryk Masters: Yeah, so Breedlove told me he got the idea from the mega-braintrust that is Blaze Claymore and Chad Kyle. But wait… then where is-
Blaze Claymore: Lexi, Lexi, Lexi.
The Golden Goddess looks up as does everyone in the arena as the SAG Award Winning* Actor’s voice blares over the speakers and Blaze Claymore appears on the screen with a confident look on his face, acting like he has one up her.
Blaze Claymore: If only you put that level of tenacity and determination into truly being the champion these fans need, rather than a tool of the Deep SHOOT establishment.
The fans begins to groan and boo as Lexi looks on, bemused.
Blaze Claymore: I think we all owe Chadwick Kyle a round of applause for taking the risk that he did to fight against this nefarious conspiracy and risk being having his patriotic credentials called into question. But let me assure you, SHOOT Project, traditional borders matter not when we are seeking the TRUTH. So, thank you, Chad.
Chad gives a thumbs up from the ring as Lexi shakes her head.
Blaze Claymore: Are you surprised, Lexi? I bet you were hoping it was me under there but I’m sorry to disappoint you because-
Lexi cuts the SAG Award WInning* Actor off immediately.
Lexi Gold: Shut up you idiot.
The crowd roars as Blaze recoils in shock.
Lexi Gold: Of course it was Chad Kyle. You think I’m that blind? I knew it was even before I walked out to this ring. Honey, you may think you’re some sort of modern Deep Throat, unraveling some nefarious conspiracy but truth is you’re a gag reflex.
Eryk Masters: Hah. Good one.
Lexi Gold: You want to run away from facing me in the ring? Fine. Enjoy your hideaway, Blaze, because sooner or later you’ll have nowhere to hide except when your face is under my boot!
She drops the mic and the crowd cheers her on as she runs a hand through her drenched hair before exiting the ring and beginning up the ramp.
Blaze, who is still on screen, begins screaming in frustration.
Blaze Claymore: You see, everyone! You see! I’m being threatened with bodily harm! Security! Arrest her for terroristic threats!
Lexi simply shakes her head and laughs as she continues, uninterrupted, towards the back.
Nate Robideau Vs. Joe Wrestleman
...bitch
After the bell, Nate calls for a microphone. He takes a long loop, pacing the ring, gathering his thoughts.
Eryk Masters: Now this is a rare sight, Nate Robideau almost never grabs a mic and talks in the ring.
Other Guy: Maybe he’s going to apologize?
Eryk Masters: For what?
Other Guy: For not letting Jamie go to the empire sooner, obviously!
Nate sniffs, wipes some sweat from his brow. He stops pacing, looking to the ring in contemplation. The crowd is buzzin, awaiting the thungering timpani of his voice, when he finally speaks up. Soft at first.
Robideau: So I know I don’t talk a lot out here. I like to let my work here in this ring do the talking for me.
He stalks to the ropes facing the entrance. Leans his elbows on them. Now he’s gaining volume and tempo.
Robideau: But I’ve got to address something. And I know you’re back there. I know you’re listening.
He growls slightly, then points his finger and outright yells, his voice cutting across the crowd noise in a thunderous bark.
Robideau: Send whoever you want to! You’ve decided that I’m a figure to mock and push and hurt, and I could ask you why…but the why doesn’t matter anymore, does it? You’ve dug in and made your decision. You made that abundantly clear when you decided to brain me up at that ramp. Listen closely, OutKast. I. Am. Who. I. Am. Not who you think I should be! You want to keep booking me against jokes, mock me with the opponents you’ve chosen? I can tear through a hundred like them and come back for seconds. I may be a lot of things, and you might think a number of unflattering ones, but even you have to admit that I’m a warrior. And I can do this all damn day.
Nate lowers his arms and glares fire at the entrance.
Robideau: Or you can come out here and see how this plays out when you aren’t blindsiding me like a coward. Which is gonna be?!
“Nate. Hey. Up here, Nate.”
Nate looks up at the SHOOT Jumbotron and sees the face of OutKast. He has a stern look on his face glaring down at the ring. He is also clearly not dressed to fight.
OutKast: You think this is how it works? You call me out, I go out there, and we what? You lock an armbar on me? You…knock me out? Nah, I’m good, Nate. I don’t need that. Besides, we both know all you’d do is give me a stern talking to.
OutKast rolls his eyes while continuing to glare at Nate. Nate brings the microphone to his lips.
OutKast: Ah ah ah, no. You’ve said enough, Nate. You had your match, you had your time. But, hey, I applaud you. You went through two of SHOOT’s “finest” Soldiers in…
He spins his hand as though it can help him figure out what to say.
OutKast: …whatever their names are. That’s just you, Nate. I got you those matches not because I worried about how you’d perform. I just knew what level you’re at comparatively.
He pauses.
OutKast: You’ve wasted too much time as it is, Nate. That said, no…I’m not coming out. Why would I, Nate? What point is there to that? You’re winded, delusional, fatigued. Not…thinking straight.
OutKast cocks his head to the side, thinking back to the attack that has incensed Nate Robideau.
OutKast: Listen to me, son. Listen well.
He smirks.
OutKast: I’ve got a lot of time on my hands, Nate. I’m retired, you know. The funny thing about time is the more you get…the more I get, too.
His smirk fades away, replaced with a stern glare.
OutKast: You are surrounded by veterans that can show you so much, but nobody out there knows what it’s like to train people, to teach people, to mold the future of the business. You showed me what kind of teacher you are. Let me see what kind of student you can be. See, son, you’ve lived fight to fight your whole life. It’s high time you tasted a war. You don’t have anything going on at Redemption, right?
He huffs, shaking his head as if he knows the answer.
OutKast: No you don’t. So Nate? Why don’t I throw a middle finger up to retirement and see you in the ring?
The fans ERUPT at the prospect of such a match. Nate continues to watch OutKast, who stops talking and only stares down at him. He stalks back and forth, clearly weighing his rage, shoulders hunched–until the tightness in his body relaxes. He looks up to the screen, nodding.
Robideau: Teach me something, then. But if you’re going to threaten me with a war?
He steps out of the ring and stands on the apron, defiant.
Robideau: Then you better bring me a war.
The crowd explodes into cheers as he tosses the microphone with a thud right as “Sick, Sick, Sick” kicks on, and he leaps to the floor, arms extended. OutKast chuckles to himself before the feed cuts.
Eryk Masters: Huge, huge, huge news!! OutKast is coming out of retirement to face Nate Robideau at Redemption!!
Other Guy: You ain’t kidding, ‘Ryk! And if I’m Nate, ring rust or not, I gotta be sweating at least a little bit! OutKast is a bonafide legend!!
Eryk Masters: Big things happening, big moves being made!! Folks, you aren’t going to want to go anywhere!! Our main event features Buck Dresden facing Joshua Breedlove–and Nero Sin squares off against Nikole Reese, that’s coming up next!!
Nikole Reese Vs. Nero Sin
Lux en Tenebris
Lindsay Troy and Ayumi Seppuku can be seen making their way towards the Epicenter – duffle bags slung over their shoulders as the tag champs try to get into the building.
Immediately a pair of SHOOT Project security guards swarm the two fighters to try and create a perimeter.
Lindsay Troy: What the hell is this?
Ayumi looks over the security guards’ shoulder and then drops her gaze, tugging on Lindsay’s arm.
Ayumi: Just… let it go.
Lindsay looks toward the arena and sees a congregation standing across the street with signs stretched high above their heads.
“SHOOT ARE SINNERS”
“WRESTLING NOT WOKENESS”
“PROTECT OUR CHILDREN”
She turns to her partner whose gaze is avoiding the scene altogether, then puts her hand on Ayumi’s shoulder.
Lindsay Troy: I’m right here, Ayumi. We’re gonna walk across the street with our heads high and not give them an ounce of attention. They want to see you embarrassed and self-conscious by their presence and you have no reason to be. Besides…
The Queen of the Ring motions with her head toward the crowd.
Lindsay Troy: I’d rather be a sinner than a closed-minded asshole.
Ayumi lifts her head and grabs Lindsay’s hand, squeezing it tightly.
Ayumi: Thanks, Lindz. Let’s just get this over with so we can scope out the competition, yeah?
Lindsay Troy: You got it.
The two women of Lux Aeterna stride toward the Epicenter with the security detail in tow, and Revolution goes elsewhere.
The Carolina Lions Vs. Blood Money
The Most Wonderful, Amazing, Tremendous Greatest Interview on Earth
We head to the back where Abigail Chase has caught up with the EMPEROR and the EMPRESS themselves, right as Breedlove is set to head to the ring for this episode of Revolution’s main event against Buck Dresden.
Abigail Chase: Any final thoughts? Final words? Anything like that before you head through that curtain and fight Buck Dresden?
Danni and Breedlove both give Abigail Chase an incredulous look before Breedlove goes to respond.
Joshua Breedlove: Yeah, Abby. First, this isn’t some kind of death march. I’m not going out there and getting murdered by Buck Dresden. I’m going out there and I’m *preventing* Buck Dresden from horning his way into my World title match at Redemption. THAT is what’s about to happen.
Abigail Chase: Are ya sure about that?
Joshua Breedlove: What the fuck is going on with the interviewers here tonight?! First, you’ve got Mary Kelly all kinds of pressed towards Ayumi Seppuku and now you. What even is this? Of COURSE I’m sure. I’m JOSHUA FUCKIN’ BREEDLOVE, Abby. I’m going to go out there, put the boots down onto Buck Dresden, hit him with a burning hammer or maybe a Dawn of the Empire and pin him.
One.
Two.
Three.
I don’t know why you have to come in here and get into my business like this.
Abigail Chase: Well I mean, he had some good points.
Joshua Breedlove: Oh, DID HE?
Abigail Chase: Yeah, you’re obviously focused on the World title match. You’ve had all this other drama going on, with your contract, with your “Empress”…
She even made the finger motion.
Danni Johnson: I’m sorry, what?
Joshua Breedlove: Don’t worry about it, Danni. Just a jealous hater trying to ruffle feathers. You’re right, Abby. I do have a lot going on. My contract situation is NOT resolved, but that’s not going to stop me from beating Buck Dresden and it’s DEFINITELY not going to stop me from beating Ignatius Absent Martin at Redemption. Fuck you.
He turns away from Abigail Chase and starts to walk up the hallway towards gorilla position.
Danni Johnson: Yeah, fuck you.
Abigail Chase: Whatever, “Empress”. We’re headed to the ring RIGHT NOW for our MAIN EVENT! Buck Dresden takes on Joshua Breedlove with a chance at joining the World title match at Redemption on the line!
Buck Dresden Vs. Joshua Breedlove
Requiem for a Division
Eryk Masters: This HAS to be considered worst case scenario for Breedlove! Damn!
Other Guy: You know it, E! Breedlove’s got a FULL dance card at Redemption, that’s for sure. He’s got Lindsay Troy. Is he entering the Redemption Rumble?! AND… AND he’s got a triple threat with Buck Dresden AND Ignatius Albert Martin for the most HISTORIC prize in our organization, the SHOOT Project World Heavyweight Championship!
Eryk Masters: And– wait, what’s going on now!?
The camera shifts and shows that the entrance to the arena is covered in flowers and bouquets. There is a wreath with an image of the SHOOT Project World Tag Team titles in the center. There are grieving souls sitting in folding chairs. An organ plays softly and a spotlight shines down upon it. El Paria is there, his eyes closed as he plays gently on the organ a sort of dirged up version of “Hip Hop is Dead” by Nas, but since it samples “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” it kind of just sounds like that. Nevertheless, he is bobbing his head to the beat…but doing it in a sad way. We come, at last to the pulpit where resting before the podium…is a coffin. The largest image spraypainted on the coffin is the Sisters of Steel, celebrating their tag team title win. We also see Lux Aeterna, Fear & Loathing, Blood Money, SAIGO, the Unholy Cyber Army, Sin City Scoundrels, the Pop Punks, and at the bottom of the graffiti is simply “…and everyone else we forgot. RIP.”
Once all the mourners are seated, a hush falls over the arena. El Paria stops playing for a moment. Then, he rips into a sad rendition of “King’s Dead” as out from the back emerges none other…than the Carolina Lions. The fans immediately begin booing. Isaiah Galliard sucks his teeth at the jeers, shaking his head in disappointment. Luis de Leon steps out with him and he taps Reaper’s arm to show him his displeasure at the unkind crowd. Both men nod in respect and appreciation to El Paria’s mind blowing organ (it’s a really, really big organ, to be fair) and both men step up to the podium.
Smoke: Please, everyone…if we could…just take a minute.
Reaper: I know, brother, I know…
Reaper hugs his partner, who seems to be taking this very hard.
Reaper: Ever since we came to this company, we were told of the fabled tag team division.
He pauses, turning his head to check on Smoke, who continues to weep behind him.
Reaper: We heard stories of…of… of Hardcore Style. Of the Beautiful People. Of the Bad Ass Brotherhood. Of Stellar Insanity. Of Instant Heat. Of Long Island Hardcore. We heard of so many fabled tandems, so many…so many nearly unbeatable teams.
Smoke yells behind him.
Smoke: WE JUST WANTED COMPETITION!
He wails in sorrow once more behind Reaper.
Reaper: All we wanted was a piece…a piece…I said a piece!
El Paria plays a single key upon Reaper pointing to him.
Reaper: I said…I said a PIECE-AH!
Points twice to El Paria, who hits the keys twice.
Reaper: We just-ah…we just wanted a piece of the action-HA. We wanted to see! I said…I said we wanted to seeeeeee!
El Paria hits it three times now.
Reaper: We wanted to know if the Carolina Lions could hang in a division…ah…such as that! With Hall of Famers.
Smoke: YES LAWD!
Reaper: With…with up and comers!
Smoke: YES LAWD!
Reaper: With…I said with…with the almighty best tag teams in professional wrestlin’ today!
Smoke holds his hand up in praise.
Reaper: And here we are.
Reaper points down to the coffin.
Reaper: Saying goodbye to a division that gave us all of those amazing and talented tag teams. Oh, we saw it dying when Lux Aeterna decided to be a team and win the belts.
The fans cheer and Smoke pushes his way to the microphone.
Smoke: YOU ANIMALS! HOW CAN YOU CHEER SUCH AN…AN ATROCITY!!
Reaper pushes Smoke back and tries to make sure he collects himself.
Reaper: They know not what they do, man. They know not what they do.
He hugs his partner and whispers that it’ll be alright. El Paria, off to the side, adjusts his mask to take a tissue to his eyes. It’s such a touching moment. Reaper turns back to the podium.
Reaper: And at our last show, we saw the Sisters of Steel…fall. Shatter. Unceremoniously taken behind the woodshed and put out of their misery.
The fans rain down boos at what happened when the Lions faced the Sisters.
Reaper: Yes, yes, that’s right. Boo! You should boo! They were the last chance this division might have had but yet…Ria was too weak to be a formidable partner to the Empress herself, Danni Johnson.
Reaper grins when he says the name. He knows the boos are going to rain down.
Reaper: I know you’re sad, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sad, too! We were just getting started in this division! We were going all the way to the top, we could feel it. But look at what’s left. One team cares more about sVo than here and they’re allegedly one of the top contenders. One team cares more about training rookie world champions in a singles division than actually contending for the titles and they’re allegedly ANOTHER top contender. Ladies and gentlemen, you should be angry. You should boo. Jeer. Cry out in sorrow that this once mighty division has fallen into such disarray.
He pauses, collecting himself. Smoke reaches out his hand to Reaper and pulls him away from the podium. He steps up himsellf, wiping tears away from his eyes.
Smoke: We know we have the ability to save it. We could pull our backs out carrying this division as we’ve already been doing. But, see…given the selfishness of the front office to be okay with the tag titles going to two people who clearly don’t want them, what’s left to save? They’re props, those titles. Participation trophies. With us, they would have been the goals all would seek. Now…just baubles, trinkets those two girls try to match outfits for.
He shakes his head.
Smoke: The SHOOT Project Tag Team division…is gone. There is no one worthy to face a team of our caliber and since we know the top brass wouldn’t have the courage to give us a title shot and embarrass their golden goose that seems to want to take our World title to show off to her stooges in her own company. Sad to say, but this company doesn’t value true talent. And so, we must pronounce this tag team division once and for all…
The Carolina Lions are interrupted as “Waveshaper” by Crystal Protocol plays over the arena soundsystem, wholly ignoring any organs or sadness and bringing the fans in attendance to their feet, heralding the arrival of another up and coming SHOOT Project tag team, SPINEBUSTER ISLAND!
Joe Quinn and Dan Richards come out to the top of the stage, microphones in hand, apparently with something to say.
Joe Quinn: This is ridiculous. You two are so, SO talented, and yet here you are… making a mockery out of the fall of one of SHOOT Project’s great tag teams, and you’re… this is a funeral procession?
Dan Richards: You two want to run this division? You want to be in charge, get title shots, and do dumb shit like this? I get it. You want to make your mark, right? Get your names on the books for something, but there’s something I think you two are forgetting.
Richards smiles as he turns and stares directly into the Carolina Lions direction.
Dan Richards: There’s another tag team that’s rising up the ranks, and we’re doing it without all these theatrics and…
He takes a hold of one of the fake flower arrangements.
Dan Richards: …horseshit flower arrangements.
Joe Quinn: Yep, you aren’t alone on any mountaintop, hell… the Carolina Lions aren’t even at the top of the tag team rankings. That honor belongs to… sorry to Ria Lockhart… but it belongs to SAIGO. So maybe… maybe you two pump the brakes a little bit, out here calling for title shots or whatever.
Dan Richards: Maybe you two? And the two of us? Maybe we square off at Redemption and maybe… maybe that can be for a shot at the tag titles! Let’s tell all of this other dumb shit to fuck off, and just… brawl.
Joe Quinn: I like brawling.
Dan Richards: I too enjoy brawling. Lions?
Reaper looks at Smoke and then leans into the podium.
Reaper: …is this because y’all got left off the casket? I got a marker, I can just draw some stick figures on there.
Smoke stops him.
Smoke: Nah, bro. These two wanna hitch their wagons to the Lions, we can do that. Redemption needs us on the card anyway, let’s be real.
He rolls his eyes.
Smoke: Even if we’re givin’ you guys a rub.
Dan Richards: I don’t care what you guys have to tell yourselves to get on board. If you wanna say we’re “hitching our wagons to y’all” then so be it, but the reality is, you two are making a mockery out of one of the greatest tag team divisions that has ever been assembled in the SHOOT Project, and rather than talk about it and do whatever this is…
Joe Quinn: We’d prefer to fight.
Dan Richards: So, histrionics aside… theatrics aside… if you two are game to fight, then we fight at Redemption. Simple as.
Reaper looks back to Smoke, who shrugs.
Reaper: I mean, for all the disrespect you’re payin’ the dead? Man, you got it.
Reaper looks the two of them up and down.
Smoke: Maybe next time we’ll bring two caskets.
Reaper: Well, I mean…if that’s the case…
Without any warning, Smoke and Reaper both grab the casket and FLING it off its stand at Spinebuster Island! Dan and Joe are quick to dodge and get ready to chase the two of them, but both Luis and Isaiah are sprinting to the backstage area off to the side of the stage, laughing and pointing as they run and Revolution 177 comes to a close.
