Alright y’all let’s take a trip to the garage entrance of the Epicenter. You know – where all the soldiers arrive in their prized bougie buggies. What your eyes are focused on is a pearl white 2023 Chevy Suburban, laid the eff out, that $91,000 MSRP, as it slowly strolls into the equipment littered garage.
The deluxe SUV slows down and comes to a halt. We need to see who’s inside of course, but the tinted windows hinder that. Abigail Chase steps into frame, looking like a dime piece, and she struts her stuff toward the Burb to get an up close and personal interaction with the individual(s) inside.
The back passenger door on the driver’s side slowly opens and the first thing noticeable is the size 13 Nike Air Jordan 1, that retro fire trophy room kick. We’re talking about that red and white with the star spangled sole and MJ facsimile on the heel. Then the other shoe drops. This individual is tailored. Are those dark blue Bruno Cucinelli slacks? No need to follow that up because we get the answer asap, and the crowd can be heard with a shockingly exceptional cheer.
Black Sheep Baez is indeed tailored in a Bruno Cucinelli, but that smile is all naturAL. You know how these shows are produced because we got a guy in gorilla directing that operator to inch closer and zoom in on Black Sheep’s adorable mug. He tugs at the lapels of the single breasted suit and adjusts a SHOOT Project soldier helmet cufflink. Dude’s drip is on point. Did we add that his eyes are shaded from that ruthless Nevada sun with a pair of Balmain Wonderboy III’s? Well, we just did. He removes the glasses and gives Abigail his undivided attention.
Abigail Chase: Black Sheep Baez it is great to see you back in the Epicenter and as you can tell: it seems as if the fans can all agree with me that your return has been highly anticipated.
Black Sheep Baez: YO ABBY! ABIGAIL! ABBY-BABYYY! GYOT DAYUM!
Yes, he just unbuttoned his suit and now has to show off a quick little spin and click of the heels. He’s lit up! Abigail takes a step back and shares a surprising smirk.
Black Sheep Baez: Abby, and if I may call you that? You have GOT to believe that when the doctor told me I was cleared to return I got a little outta control. Nah, not just outta control. Ecstatic and anxious AS EFF. LITTY LIT LIT YO! Bae, the story goes, ya boi was down and out. Ya boi was worried. Ya boi was lost for words. Somehow my body decided that the lower part of my spine didn’t wanna co-op-erate. So, enter the world of a laminectomy.
Black Sheep Baez: LaminectaWHAT? Yo, I had part of my spine removed, and then I had to have it all fused back together. A near four hour process. This is a normal issue, apparently, but here I thought ya boi was finished, finito, concluded, ashes to ashes. Nah. I got that spine back in workin’ order, AbBAE! I’m keepin it a solid one hunnit and let’s just say that I’m in ‘PREMIER’ shape.
Don’t just think that ya boi doesn’t smirk at his own witticisms. He liked that and owned every bit of it with a proud grin. However, Abigail digs in and asks the hard hitting questions.
Abigail Chase: Well we’re excited that you’re healthy and ready to compete, and speaking of that: you’ve got quite the debut tonight as you return to action not just against one competitor, but three. And, as you just so hinted, your match is for the SHOOT Project Premier Championship in the Revolution main event! You could be the inaugural champion tonight upon your return!
There’s a brief pause as BSB nods and takes a moment to ponder her selling of tonight’s four-way. That moment doesn’t last long and Baez’s charming smile is once again behind the mic.
Black Sheep Baez: Lawdy-lawd-lawd I’ve mentioned this so much but I am foreva humbled. In my short time with the SHOOT Project I’ve had a chance to compete for the world heavyweight championship. Now I’m booked to potentially be the first SHOOT Project Premier campeon? This is my time, Abby. My story! The B-S-B telenovella. The whole Phoenix from the ashes stuff.
Black Sheep Baez: Bet. What didn’t kill me made me strong as FUCK and I’m about to get out there tonight and gain some content for this legendary tale. I’m gonna bring the Baez surname back to greatness. Money on my name. This is one of those historical comeback moments every wrestler dreams of.
Black Sheep Baez: Looka-here, sometimes life gives you lemons, and sometimes life straight up disrespects your vertebrae, and when that all happens? Well, bae, let me just say that we take those lemons, cut them up into itty-bitty wedges, put them sumbatches into a juicy ass cocktail, tell my damaged vertebrae to KICK ROCKS, buy a five grand outfit, get picked up in a GOT DAMN Burballac Ghetto Bus, slap some bars to some LUDA and get my beautiful caramel ass back to the Epicenter to KICK SOME ROOTY TOOTY BOUGIE BOOTY! ON GAWD!
Baez just soaks it in. He can hear the cheers as the volume increases. He closes his eyes, tilts his head, and inhales the vibe.
Abigail Chase: That story continues with the work that you’ve got cut out for you this evening. We’re talking about RAIKO, Laura Seton, and someone you’re all too familiar with, Lexi Gold. Each one of these ladies is a premier athlete and would absolutely define what it means to wear that belt around their waist.
Black Sheep Baez: Mhmm, right on.
Abigail Chase: The former Iron Fist champion and 2022 Redemption Rumble winner is a force of nature. The former Rules of Surrender champion is a veteran that is a nasty in-ring performer. Then there’s the former Shut Up and Fight champion who’s also shared the wealth of the Iron Fist title. A lot of gold. So much talent. You’re returning against a trifecta who want nothing more but to be at the top of the mountain much like yourself.
Black Sheep Baez: Yo I have nothing but respect for all three of those beautiful women. Yes, even the fork weildin one-eyed RAIKO. They’re inspiring in every way. An inspiration to all the women in the world who think they don’t have a chance. Las mujeres son fruto de la tierra. Ya’ll got this world by the testiculos. Right here. Right now. Just take a look at the talent this company has produced over the years and the current pool of future hall of famers. Facts on stacks of facts, yo.
Black Sheep Baez: Ya’ll don’t think ya boi forgot how to do this, did you? Naw, ya boi is locked and loaded. Ya boi is GEEKED. Imma get out there and do what I do, ya feel me? I’m dressed to impress and Imma wrestle like papi taught me. Shimmy and shake. Lucha contra mi trasero. Bring that A game, yo. Business is business, Abigail, but you got damn right, bae. I got my work cut out for me. My newly repaired back is against a wall. I got three hot dames staring into my soul and all they see is gold. Not gonna lie, but I think I need to get movin’ so that I’m mentally prepped for what I’m about to endure. Shit’s about to get real, real quick.
The interview is over, and Black Sheep buttons his suit and starts to walk past Abigail. Or, maybe it isn’t over? He stops and turns to Chase.
Black Sheep Baez: Where are my manners? I appreciate you and your time. Muchas gracias. Here’s to hopin that the next time we meet – on gawd – I’ll have some gold to show off. [He spells out the word with each finger] B-E-T, [and like a drum stick to a symbol…] BET!
And, with that, my friends, the potential inaugural SHOOT Project Premier Champion struts off with a gigantic pearly white grin. Abigail Chase nods with a faithful smirk as we cut to ringside.