EP.: 210
DATE: 06.24.2024
ARENA: THE EPICENTER
We’re not treated to a video recap of Master of the Mat, or a montage of Revolutions past to begin the 210th edition of SHOOT’s flagship program. Instead, the words “EARLIER TODAY” fade in at the top right corner of the screen, and we’re brought outside of the Epicenter where throngs of fans have gathered under the blazing hot sun to see their favorite Soldiers arrive amidst the watchful eyes of Security, hoping to snag a photo or an autograph before the show begins.
A black SUV rolls slowly along the pavement, its driver and passenger side windows completely blacked out, however those lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the driver from the front of the vehicle let out a cheer. Word quickly spreads amongst the crowd and before long, the cheers grow in number and volume. Further down the aisle, Security also gets word of the Soldier’s arrival, but they don’t move to help keep the rowdy Faithful in line.
Instead, they form a line in front of the car so that it will, eventually, have to come to a stop. Which it, eventually, does.
There’s a stalemate between Security and the SUV, and it’s at this moment that keen-eyed Faithful begin to notice that the Security guards don’t look like regular SHOOT Project Security personnel. Their shirts are missing the identifiable SHOOT Soldier’s helmet, and most long-time fans recognize the same SHOOT Security employees who work show after show. These Security guards are wearing non-descript, dark clothing with “X” badges around their necks. Finally, the driver’s side door opens and the new SHOOT Project World Champion, Lindsay Troy, steps out of the car and walks toward the blockade.
Lindsay Troy: Something the matter here?
Three big, burly guards break off from the crew and approach the Champ. The tallest and widest amongst them takes it upon himself to speak for the rest.
Security Guard: There won’t be if you get back in your vehicle and leave the premises.
Lindsay replies with an “oh really?” lift of her eyebrow as the fans begin to boo and shout obscenities at the guards, who remain unmoved.
Lindsay Troy: This is a joke, right? Is this…this is Grimaldi pranking me, isn’t it?
She holds up her hands in surrender to the SHOOT Project’s Head of Security’s friendly scheme.
Lindsay Troy: Okay, very funny. You can tell Lou he got me. Seriously, though, can you let me through? I’d like to park and then come back up here to mingle with the fans a bit before the show starts.
Security Guard: The show will be starting – and ending – without you. This isn’t a joke. Get back in the car and leave. Right now.
Behind the Queen, the Heirs to the Throne jump out of the car and slam the doors behind them. Kaz Troy and Cecilia Ryan march over to where the Champ stands, neither of them looking happy with what’s unfolding.
Kaz Troy: The hell we are.
He takes two steps past his mother to engage with the guards, but a hand on his shoulder from Lindsay halts his progress.
Cecilia steps forward, stopping alongside her aunt, a smirk starting to cross her face.
Cecilia Ryan: Paid security, huh? Any of you betting men? ‘Cuz I wager it’d take the three of us about thirty seconds or less to put you all in the hospital for the better part of the rest of the year.
Kaz Troy: Thirty seconds is generous, Ceese. Maybe after we beat them senseless they’ll understand what a stupid idea it was to try and stop the World Champion from entering the building.
Cecilia Ryan: That’s the thing. They couldn’t stop her from entering the building on their best day.
She looks directly at the lead talkative guard.
Cecilia Ryan: You’re threatening the World Champion… one of the toughest individuals to ever step foot in a wrestling ring… someone who buys and sells nobodies like you on a regular basis…
Cecilia keeps incrementally tensing up, something Lindsay notices, and this time she puts a hand on her niece’s shoulder, before things get out of hand. Cecilia glances over at her and takes the cue to dial it back a notch, slowly blowing a deep breath from her mouth.
Lindsay Troy: They don’t care about any of that. All they care about is the job and the paycheck, and what I want to know is what galaxy brain opened their wallet. Was it the one who killed the vibe after I won the World Title? Or her so-called bestie who jumped me from behind?
The human barricade says nothing. Does nothing, except blink and breathe. The Queen chuckles at their silence.
Lindsay Troy: I suppose it doesn’t matter. We’re getting inside – one way or another.
The SUV’s horn blares out from behind the Vae Victis trio and, from the sunroof, a vibrant head of pink, purple, blue, and black hair pops out.
Ami Troy: Hiiii!!!
She smiles a smile that’s brighter than the Las Vegas sun and waves at the guards.
Ami Troy: I can tell my mom’s getting pissed so I’m gonna run you all over now, ‘kay? Unless you don’t wanna get run over, then moving would be the move!
Cecilia looks at her cousin and stifles a laugh, then turns back and side-eyes the security guards with a wry smile.
Ami Troy: Last chance before I make with the beepity beep vroom vroom roadkill!!!!
She hops into the driver’s seat and revs the engine for good measure. Kaz locks eyes with the lead guard.
Kaz Troy: If you think she’s bluffing, I promise you, she’s not.
As if on cue, Ami throws the car into gear and starts driving toward the group. Lindsay, Kaz, and Cecilia hustle out of the way, as do all the security guards.
Before Ami gets too close to striking distance, she slams on the brakes, and the members of Vae Victis hop back in the vehicle. As they make their way into the wrestlers’ parking lot, the World Champ’s head pops up out of the sunroof and calls back to the guards.
Lindsay Troy: Tell your keepers that next time, they’re gonna have to do MUCH better than all of you to keep me out of here.
The scene fades out, and Revolution officially begins…
SINGLES MATCH
PREMIER CHAMPIONSHIP
ANNA DANIELS
VS.
RIA (c)
POST MATCH
YOU WERE WARNED
Samantha Coil: Here is your winner…AND STILL PREMIER CHAMPION…RIAAAAAAA!
Ria looks absolutely elated. She almost rips the title away from Lee Armstrong and holds it high, taking in the cheers from the crowd. Anna Daniels is beginning to get to her feet, and despite her disappointment in not besting the champion, she doesn’t look completely defeated. Ria throws the Premier Championship over her shoulder and walks over to Anna, looking for a handshake.
When the lights…go…out!
RUN!
RUN!
RUN MOTHER FUCKER RUN!
“Streaker” by TOBACCO hits brieftly over the PA. The arena is barely lit by blue light that emanates not just from the SHOOTron, but also from CRT TVs that surround the ring and go up the entrance ramp. The blue light is quickly replaced with an image of The Siren, the faceless, hooded woman that represents SWARM.
The Siren: We warned you. We told you we weren’t going to stop.
The lights on the SHOOTron go out, but the CRT screens erupt with glass, sparks, and moderate flames. As the flames die out, the lights come back on, and CICADA is in the ring. He stands face to face with Ria. CICADA looks at the belt on Ria’s shoulder, then to Ria. Without a word, Ria gets the idea. Despite the size difference, Ria gets face to face with CICADA, not backing down an inch.
Eryk Masters: It looks like CICADA is letting his intentions known, but Ria is not backing down an inch.
Jason Johnson: SWARM let us know that losing the scramble would not mean they were done with the champion, so it looks like CICADA is trying to take his spot as next in line.
IN THE RING
MOMENT OF TRIUMPH?
Jason Johnson: Folks, welcome back to Revolution. I’m told that the new SHOOT Project World Heavyweight Champion, Lindsay Troy, has requested some time tonight after capturing the title at Master of the Mat and she’s on her way to the ring right now!
Eryk Masters: And as we know, that victory over Joshua Breedlove and Laura Seton was cut short by an interrupting Ayumi Seppuku and HEXXX.
Jason Johnson: Not just cut short, but full-on interrupted, all so their HEXXX compatriot and 2024 Master of the Mat winner, NC-17, could attack Troy from behind.
Eryk Masters: To say Ayumi has grievances against SHOOT Project would be an understatement, and now she has added our newly crowned World Champion to that list. She and Lindsay Troy were once SHOOT Project World Tag Team Champions, and Ayumi blames her for not being there for her and for not helping her get back into the company when she was put in ice by Lennox Ferguson.
Jason Johnson: I’m sure Troy will be addressing all that and more, if what she’s told Abigail Chase is any indication. Let’s let her have the floor.
Out in the Epicenter, without any sign or warning, the lights cut out and the SHOOT Project Faithful are sent into a frenzy. White spotlights slowly come to life on the entrance stage, illuminating eerily rolling fog trailing across the metal platform.
It’s then that the ominous chords of a doom piano begin their disconcerting symphony.
dunnn dunnn dunnn. dunnn dunnn dunnn. dunnn dunnn dunnn. dunnn dunnn dunnn.
Thunderous drum beats soon follow. A haunting voice wails through the gloom before the lyrics creep through the Epicenter’s speakers.
STRANGER FRUIT
HOW IT GROWS AND GROWS
WE ALL SAW THE SHOOT
BUT WE TEND TO THE ROSE
“Stranger Fruit” by Zeal and Ardor heralds the arrival of not only Lindsay Troy, but the Heirs to the Throne as well. The SHOOT Project contingent of Vae Victis stride slowly onto the stage, the white light backlighting them as they cut a foreboding path through the darkness.
STRANGER FRUIT
IS A PLANT OF THE WELL
FLESH SO BITTER
IT PICK ITSELF
They take a moment to pause on the stage; Lindsay has the SHOOT Project World Title around her waist, and the Heirs are already dressed for their match against the Atomic Punks. Before long, they stride down the ramp amidst purple, gold, pink, and blue spotlights. The fans lucky enough to have seats on the aisle pound the barricade in time to the music as Lindsay Troy, Kaz Troy, and Cecilia Ryan approach the ring. The Faithful with ringside seats do the same as they hop on the apron, wipe their feet, and slip in between the ropes.
STRANGER FRUIT
WITH A BECKONING CALL
FROM CROWN TO THE ROOT
THIS TREE WON’T FALL
All three pick a corner for a photo op casting their gaze amongst the Faithful before each throws an arm into the air with a look of determination. Once they descend their respective corners, “Stranger Fruit” dies out and the camera focuses on the trio in the center of the ring. The Queen produces a microphone from inside of her jacket and looks out amongst the sea of fans. She soaks in the reaction, letting the hand that’s not holding the mic rest atop the faceplate of the World Title.
Lindsay Troy: This has been a long time coming.
RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
The Queen smiles as the cheers wash over her.
Lindsay Troy: I know it seems longer because I was gone for a little bit, which is something my detractors like to point out each time they take a breath. But even before then, it felt like getting here – getting to the top of the mountain in SHOOT – wasn’t going to happen.
She pauses, then continues.
Lindsay Troy: It’s been three years since I won Master of the Mat. Can you believe that? Three years since I was anywhere near the title that’s around my waist right now. Three years since I didn’t capitalize on the contendership opportunity that winning MOTM gives the victor. Three years since I put that disappointment aside and went on to have a successful run with the SHOOT Project tag titles with someone who turned out to be a bigger disappointment than that World Title loss in Ayumi Seppuku.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Both Kaz and Cecilia look just as disgusted by the mention of Ayumi’s name as SHOOT’s fans are. Their expressions say it all.
Lindsay Troy: Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of time for Ayumi tonight, since she’s apparently had months and months to sit around being big mad at everyone and everything under the sun, and then decided that cosplaying a Wish.com Bond Villain was going to be her next career move.
Because what better way to try and move that needle a little more than interrupting the SHOOT Project World Champion’s moment of triumph, right?
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Champ nods her head in agreement and scoffs.
Lindsay Troy: In the end, it didn’t matter who came out of that three-way dance with the belt. If you’re the betting sort, you knew HEXXX was going to be on that stage at the end of the night. You knew that open genital sore known as NC-17 was going to be sneak-attacking the champ from behind. The fact that it was me, made it all just a little bit sweeter for HEXXX, given the history of it all.
Nevertheless, sneak attack or no sneak attack, I walked into Master of the Mat as the unwanted third wheel and I walked out of Master of the Mat as YOUR … SHOOT PROJECT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. To Laura Seton: you held this title with honor and grace, and I endeavor to do the same. It has been an honor to face you every time we’ve been in the ring together, whether they’ve been 60 minute Broadway draws or 10 minute quick sprints.
To Joshua Breedlove, one of my great SHOOT Project archrivals.
A wry smirk appears on her face.
Lindsay Troy: You tried.
Matching smirks appear on the Heirs’ faces. Lindsay chuckles a bit to herself.
Lindsay Troy: OK, starting now, I’ll endeavor to hold the title with honor and grace, I promise. It begins later tonight, when I face the Mighty Garuda himself, Moriton, for the World–
Suddenly, and without warning, the SHOOTtron flickers to life to show some sort of mass gathering on the street in front of the Epicenter. It appears as if the whole road’s been blocked off for some kind of event; a street fair, by the looks of it.
There are food trucks lined up and down the street as well as carnival games. One booth has several giant stuffed animal depictions of all four HEXXX members, and a stuffed NC-17 caricature gazes back at the camera uncomfortably. There are cotton candy hawkers, beer salesmen, hotdog stands and elephant ears. Hell, there are even circus performers! The camera takes us past a man on stilts, wearing a familiar demon mask and juggling flaming bowling pins.
Lindsay Troy, Kaz Troy, and Cecilia Ryan look confused, and the announcers sound it.
Jason Johnson: What in the…what the hell’s going on outside? Is there a promotional event they forgot to tell us about?
Eryk Masters: I’m as lost as you are, Jason.
Jason Johnson: I’m guessing this has something to do with the security troubles our champion had earlier…looks like a lot of HEXXX merchandise out there, which seems… odd, considering how much they say they hate SHOOT’s fans. I would not want an NC-17 stuffed animal in my kid’s room, I can tell ya that right now.
Eryk Masters: Well, whatever this is it certainly is uh… impressive?
The camera continues to take us through the event, which seems to go on forever. There’s a squirt gun station where you can shoot moving Lindsay Troy targets, there’s an Ayumi Seppuku themed mini roller coaster for small children, which seems extremely in poor taste. The camera then stops abruptly as the operator seems to have run into something… or someone. We see the focus of the shot whip around and we’re face-to-face with the imposing Kingslayer, seemingly on his way to the Epicenter for his match with Chick Grillbreast.
Kingslayer cocks his head slightly to the side before we hear a familiar voice behind the camera operator.
Ayumi Seppuku: Oh dear, you seem lost… Here, let us help.
As soon as those words are spoken we see the camera fall to the cement sidewalk and the feed explodes into static. Back in the ring, the Heirs to the Throne look at each other; their confusion giving way to anger. Lindsay Troy’s expression has turned stony.
Lindsay Troy: Cute. Too bad we didn’t know about all this fun and frivolity earlier. Y’know, when we were being detained by a bunch of those rent-a-clowns.
She leans against the top cable and glares up at the SHOOTron.
Lindsay Troy: Let me make something clear to Ayumi and her hangers-on: if HEXXX thinks a sneak attack or intimidation tactics or little ticky-tack interruptions are going to derail my reign or throw me off my game, they’ve got another thing coming.
If it’s a battle they want, then I’m prepared to raise an army.
On that final, ominous threat, “Stranger Fruit” cues up once again. The Troy / Ryan contingent begin to make their way out of the ring and up the aisle.
Backstage
WHAT'S NEXT?
The beautiful Abigail Chase is backstage with CK Butcher. The wrestler is wearing his ring gear, but also sporting his CK Butcher t-shirt: a phoenix bursting from the ashes and the word RISE written boldly underneath. Butcher is giving off an aura of confidence and his smiles as Abigail ignites the interview.
Abigal Chase: CK – you were successful in your fight against Ultimo Muerte, and you’ve taken us on a souls journey since your return. It seems as if you’ve settled the score with your inner demons, and you’ve found solace in spirituality, while also showing us your improvements in the ring. What’s next for CK Butcher?
There’s no hesitation. He knows exactly how to answer the question and he’s firm with his response. This might be the first time in CK Butcher’s career where the authenticity of his integrity is on full display.
CK Butcher: I think what’s most important right now is that I keep my head in the game. I know that sounds corny and it’s cliche, but it’s the truth. Any time I’ve removed myself from this business and took it further than what it truly is – it was like career suicide. There are people in this company, and business, who can take it up a notch and do things that many can’t. They’re built different. That’s fine. I’m also built different. My build is simple, I’m here for two things: 1. To spread the good word, influence and inspire; 2. Be the best wrestler in the world. I don’t want to be the best gym owner, cult leader, manager, or…fill in the blank. I want to be the best wrestler. In the world.
CK Butcher: Sometimes this concept escapes us because this industry is filled with convoluted narratives and over-saturated with oddities. I’m guilty of being part of that. I don’t mind speaking on a microphone. I don’t mind being a personality. At the end of the day? It’s all about the wrestling match and how I win it. When I look at the SHOOT Project Hall of Fame – I see people who fought their way from the bottom to the top, were the best in the world with their craft, and were able to hang up the boots with a sense of success and a whole lot of accomplishments. You have to wrestle your ass off to get there.
He slaps himself on the chest and smiles at Abigail.
CK Butcher: One day. Some day.
Austin Anderson walks through the backstage area, the murmur of excitement from the crew and staff fills the air. He turns a corner and comes upon CK Butcher giving an interview. Anderson pauses, listening intently as Butcher speaks with a confident, measured tone.
Abigail Chase: CK – tonight you get to go one-on-one with someone new to the SHOOT Project landscape. ‘Absolute’ Austin Anderson. What are your thoughts and feelings as you head into this contest?
CK Butcher: I’m excited. If his walk matches the talk then I am in for a treat! He’s a natural born wrestler. I’ve already stated that’s what I’m here for: pure wrestling. I have no doubt in my mind that Austin will be another test of strength. Every match that I’ve had since my return has been that way. Every wrestler that I’ve faced has been a first for me. The best part about wrestling someone for the first time is that you have to expect the unexpected. There’s a thrill with unpredictability. I’ve never seen Double A fight before. I can do some research, but I feel like that spoils my fun. So, Austin and I are going to put on a class of whoop ass so that we can give all these amazing fans that quality bang for their buck. That is…as long as what he says is true.
Anderson steps forward, his presence immediately drawing attention. He locks eyes with CK Butcher, a slight smirk playing on his lips. He raises the microphone, his voice calm but edged with steel.
Austin Anderson: A natural born wrestler, you say? Well, CK, I appreciate your optimism. It’s rare to find someone who speaks with such respect for the craft, even if it’s laced with a bit of bravado. You see, I don’t just talk the talk; I do walk the walk. Every step I take to that ring is a testament to decades of dedication, to honing my skills to a razor’s edge.
He takes a step closer, the intensity in his eyes unwavering.
Austin Anderson: Expect the unexpected, you say? Believe me, CK, I thrive in the realm of unpredictability. You may not have seen me fight before, but tonight, you’ll get the full experience. And it won’t just be a class of whoop ass. It will be a masterclass in wrestling excellence. You want to give these fans a bang for their buck? So do I. But let’s be clear, CK: tonight, you’ll find out exactly why they call me ‘The Absolute.’
Anderson pauses, letting his words sink in. The air between them crackles with anticipation.
Austin Anderson: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a show to steal.
With that, Anderson turns and walks away, leaving CK Butcher and the interviewer standing in the charged silence, the promise of an unforgettable match hanging in the air.
SINGLES MATCH
N/A
AUSTIN ANDERSON
VS.
CK BUTCHER
Backstage
LIABILITIES
We cut again to the outside where the earlier crowd has grown even bigger with now an entire city block of folks several rows deep behind barricades and road cones. Again, we see a grouping of unadorned security in black t-shirts and jeans wearing simple “X” badges, surveying the scene and relaying directions into walkie talkies.
What we aren’t expecting to see, however, is a determined-looking Dan Stein making his way through a crowd of onlookers, trying to get the attention of one of the security officials.
Dan Stein: Excuse me! Hey!
Security pays no attention — not until Stein is literally inches away from one of them, brandishing his cane in their face. The security guard turns away from whatever it was he was surveying and crosses his arms.
Security Guard: Oh. It’s you.
Dan Stein: I… what the hell does that mean!? Who are you supposed to be?
The security guard calmly points to the back of his shirt that reads “SECURITY”
Dan Stein: Yes, that’s great … but WHOSE security? What is going on here? This is clearly a violation of some sort of city ordinance or something. You can’t just set up barricades in front of a private business like this! Tell me who you hired you and I’ll make sure at least YOU aren’t arrested.
The security guard snorts.
Security Guard: Yeah. They said you’d say that.
Dan reaches up with his free hand, about to pull out his hair.
Dan Stein: Who said!?
As he yells, two other security guards walk over, flanking the one Dan had been talking to.
Security Guard Beta: Everything alright here?
Security Guard Alpha: Yeah. Nothing to worry about. Yo. You got that paper?
Security Guard Delta: Oh… Yeah… one second….
An increasingly irritated Dan Stein begins tapping his foot as one of the guards pulls out a binder and hands it over to the SHOOT Project COO. Dan snaps it from his hands and looks inside. His brow furrows with confusion and then shock.
Dan Stein: No… no way. This isn’t possible. There has to be a mistake.
Security Guard Alpha: Nope. The city cleared this event weeks ago. But, hey, don’t get bent out of shape, Mr. Stein, you’ll hardly even know we’re here — our organizers know just how much SHOOT hates… liabilities.
The SHOOT executive looks up, a realization dawning on him as, for the first time, he sees the three guards standing next to each other with their badges hanging around their necks. One in red, one in white, and one in gray…
XXX
TAG TEAM MATCH
N/A
HEIRS TO THE THRONE
ATOMIC PUNKS
KAZ TROY
CECILIA RYAN
VS.
GIGATON
FISSION
IN THE RING
I DON'T NEED MERCY, I NEED RESPECT!
The arena is packed with fans buzzing with anticipation. The camera cuts to the entrance ramp where Roy Vezina, Rick Hull, and Harv Norris make their way to the ring. The crowd’s reaction is a mix of boos and cheers, with some fans holding signs in support of Ryan Samuels. The trio enters the ring, and Roy grabs a microphone, looking ready to address the audience.
Roy Vezina: [Raising the microphone, his voice echoing through the arena] Ladies and gentlemen of the SHOOT Project Universe, I have something important to address tonight.
The crowd’s reaction grows louder, with chants of “Ryan! Ryan!” filling the arena. Roy’s face tightens with frustration.
Roy Vezina: [Trying to maintain his composure] I know there’s been a lot of backlash regarding Ryan Samuels’ suspension. Many of you seem to think he’s some sort of hero or victim. But let me set the record straight.
The crowd continues to chant for Ryan, with some boos directed at Roy.
Roy Vezina: [Voice growing sharper] Ryan Samuels is a failure and a disgrace. He’s been nothing but a problem since day one. His attitude, his behavior, and his complete lack of respect for this team and this organization have been appalling.
The crowd’s reaction intensifies, with some fans shouting in support of Ryan while others boo Roy.
Rick Hull: [Nodding in agreement, looking serious] Roy’s right. Ryan has been nothing but a distraction. We need to focus on winning, and he’s been holding us back.
Harv Norris: [Still visibly sore, but backing up Roy] Ay, b’y, we can’t have someone like Ryan dragging us down. We need to move forward, not be stuck dealing with his issues.
Roy Vezina: [Pointing to the camera, addressing Ryan directly] Ryan, you’re nothing but a disgrace to this team. You couldn’t cut it in the ring, and now you’re causing chaos outside of it. You’ve been given chance after chance, and you’ve blown every single one. You’re suspended because you’re a failure, plain and simple.
The crowd’s boos reach a fever pitch, with some fans visibly upset by Roy’s harsh words.
Roy Vezina: [Continuing, his voice dripping with disdain] You think you’re some kind of tough guy because you threw a tantrum? Because you attacked me and my team? Let me tell you something, Ryan. Real toughness isn’t about throwing punches and causing havoc. It’s about discipline, respect, and being a team player—things you know nothing about.
The crowd’s chants of “Ryan! Ryan!” grow louder, showing their support for Samuels.
Roy Vezina: [Looking around at the crowd] You all think he’s some kind of hero? He’s nothing but a disgrace! He’s a loser who can’t handle the pressure. That’s why he’s not here tonight, and that’s why he’s banned from this arena.
Rick Hull: [Adding his voice] We’re done with Ryan. It’s time to move on and focus on what really matters—winning and restoring the Punch Line to glory.
Harv Norris: [Grimacing slightly] Aye, we’ve got to leave the past behind and push forward, stronger than ever.
Roy Vezina: [Firmly] This is my final word on the matter. Ryan Samuels is a failure, and he’s not welcome here. The Punch Line will rise again, and we will do it without him.
The crowd’s reaction is intense, with a mixture of boos and cheers filling the arena. The camera focuses on Roy’s determined face, then pans to Rick and Harv standing resolutely beside him.
Suddenly, upbeat patriotic music blares through the arena speakers, and the crowd erupts in cheers. Johnny Patriot, the masked all-American hero with a bright smile and enthusiastic demeanor, makes his way to the ring, microphone in hand. He steps into the ring, beaming at the crowd.
Johnny Patriot: [Raising the microphone, the crowd cheering loudly] Roy, you sound funny when you talk and I’ve heard enough. We all have.
The crowd erupts at the insult, feeding off Johnny Patriot’s infectious energy. Roy moves to put the microphone back to his mouth, but Patriot cuts him off.
Johnny Patriot: [With a cheerful tone] Whoa, hoser. Pump the brakes. It’s my turn to talk. Now, Ryan Samuels and I have had our issues. We’ve clashed in the ring, and he’s shown plenty of disrespect towards me and my family, especially my nephew, my namesake. But no one deserves to be treated the way you’ve treated him!
The crowd cheers, showing their support for Johnny Patriot’s words.
Johnny Patriot: [Grinning widely] Ryan may have his faults, but he’s a fighter, and he deserves respect. What you’ve done is not leadership. It’s bullying. And that’s not something I can stand by and watch. Not in the great United State of Nevada!
Roy Vezina: [Visibly annoyed] Johnny, this is none of your business. Ryan’s behavior has been unacceptable, and he’s paying the price for it.
Johnny Patriot: [With a big smile] You want to talk about unacceptable behavior? Look at yourself. I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice people. You’ve used your position to tear him down instead of building him up. That’s not nice! That’s not leadership, Roy. That’s cowardice.
The crowd roars in approval, chanting “Patriot! Patriot!”
Johnny Patriot: [Firmly but cheerfully] So here’s what we’re going to do. I challenge you or any one of the Punch Line to a match. I’ll show you what real respect looks like in that ring. Let’s settle this the right way.
Roy Vezina: [Trying to maintain his composure] You think you can just waltz in here and challenge us? Fine. You want a match? You’ve got it. But don’t expect any mercy.
Johnny Patriot: [Nodding enthusiastically] I don’t need mercy, Roy. I need respect. And I’m going to show you and everyone here what that means.
The crowd erupts in cheers as Johnny Patriot smiles brightly at Roy Vezina and the Punch Line, the tension palpable in the arena.
PREVIOUSLY
REMOVING THE WHITE NOISE
Caked in sweat, Vito Valentino knocks on the door to the office of Real Deal.
Real Deal: (muffled from the other side of the door) It’s open.
Vito opens the door and steps inside. There’s a look of concern and mystery strewn upon his face.
Vito Valentino: Hey. Yeah so my bad for my appearance right now. Didn’t even stop to shower yet. This fuckin’ box… it’s all I could think about tonight. Even while I was breakin’ apart that testa di cazzo out there.
Real Deal chuckles.
Real Deal: Nah, I get it, man. No worries. I’d want to know what was in it, too, if I had that (points at large, unopened box) delivered to me at a wrestling show.
Vito nods.
Vito Valentino: Yeah. I mean, I once saw Uber Eats deliver thirty packets of Diablo sauce with no tacos in the bag at an episode of Classic TV before. Chick Grillbreast was SO pissed! Now, I thought that was strange. But this? I dunno, man. Can’t wrap my head around it. ‘Specially with all the oddfucks runnin’ amuck here in SHOOT.
They both take a second to look at the box again.
Vito Valentino: So, I thought it would be prudent to open it in front of ya. Just in case it’s a fuckin’ fondue of blood or somethin’.
Real Deal: Well, I have SHOOT Sec and SHOOT Med on standby. So if you want to open it here, go right ahead.
Vito nods and walks up to the box.
Vito Valentino: You got a box cutter by chance?
Real Deal: Yeah, man. Here.
Real Deal hands Vito a yellow-handled box cutter. Without another word, Vito clicks up on the box cutter, extending the blade about half an inch. No point in accidentally slicing through something if it happens to be important.
Ripping upwards, breaking through the side packaging tape that hadn’t been breached with a precision cut, Vito opens the top of the box.
Vito Valentino: The fuck?
Curious, Real Deal stands up from behind his desk and approaches the box with great concern.
Real Deal: What is it, Vito?
Vito Valentino: I… I don’t know.
Taking another firm grip of the box cutter, Vito slices open the front of the box, ripping off the cardboard flap to reveal a record player. Or, more precisely, an old-time gramophone.
The large wooden body has two words spray painted vertically on the wooden body, along with an arrow pointing up;
“play me”
Vito Valentino: Well. I guess we should just do s we’re told, eh?
Real Deal: What’s this “we” business? That’s all you, Big Meat Veet.
Vito Valentino: Somehow, I knew you were gonna say that.
Looking at the old-time gramophone, Vito notices the absence of a vinyl record. Looking all over the 19th-century-looking device, he sees a white vinyl sleeve with a crudely drawn stick figure duct-taped to the wooden base.
Vito Valentino: Oh, this isn’t fuckin’ suspicious at all.
After removing the sleeve, Vito arches it so the black vinyl rolls out. The record seems innocuous enough—no creepy drawings or random words assembled with magazine cutouts. Gesticulating the act of not giving a fuck, Vito places the record directly onto the gramophone platter, carefully placing the hole of the vinyl onto the spindle.
Flicking the switch “ON”, the drive begins to spin and the golden horn echoes out the sounds of gentle crackling and hissing. There’s a nostalgic and vintage ambiance
As the needle moves along the grooves, there’s a nostalgic and vintage ambiance infiltrating Real Deal’s office.
Vito Valentino: I really don’t know what the hell this is all a-
A high-pitched squeal blasts into the air, creating a jump-scare moment for Vito and Real Deal.
Real Deal: Can’t say I expected that.
The ethereal squeals continue.
Vito Valentino: I don’t get this spooky shit. What is the point of it?!
Real Deal lets out a chuckle and pats Vito on the shoulder.
Real Deal: You know, SHOOT Project may have been established back in 2001, but the spooky shit? I’ll never understand it.
As Real Deal goes back to his desk, Vito winces at the sound of the endless squealing coming from the gramophone.
Suddenly, Vito has an idea. Placing a firm touch onto the record, he starts playing it backward. Slowly.
Vito Valentino: Maybe I’ve watched too many movies, but–
The sound of a little girl humming cuts through the air, erasing all white noise and replacing it with a haunting, harmonic beauty.
There are no more words for Vito or Real Deal to say.
SINGLES MATCH
N/A
JOSH CONWAY
VS.
KAZNA MOROZOVA
Backstage
PLAY NICE
Revolution cuts to the Vae Victis locker room, where the Champ is going through her final prep before her first title defense against the Mighty Garuda, Moriton. Her Airpods are in her ears and she nods along to some unknown beat while wrapping the final pieces of her arm tape. Seated criss-cross applesauce across from her is Ami, typing something on her phone. Both Kaz and Cecilia are pulling their boots off, their match against the Atomic Punks in the books.
A buzzing sound comes from a bag on the bench next to Cecilia. She finishes taking her second boot off and glances in the direction of the sound. Reaching into the bag she pulls out her cell phone. Ever-observant, Lindsay sees the name and face on the front of Cece’s phone. They make eye contact. Cecilia swipes the green slide bar and a muffled voice is heard on the other end of the call.
Cecilia Ryan: (through gritting teeth) Again with this…
More of the muffled voice.
Lindsay Troy: (pulling one of her air pods out) What’s up?
Cecilia Ryan: More trouble with those security guys.
Lindsay shakes her head just a bit. Cecilia listens to the caller as they reply. A slight smile crosses her face.
Cecilia Ryan: Hang on, I’ll ask.
She hits mute and turns to her Aunt Lindz.
Cecilia Ryan: Would you be mad if all of the security guards ended up with either broken legs or broken arms, or both?
Lindsay Troy: No broken arms or legs, thanks. It’ll be fine. Just remind security who our friend is a guest of.
Unmute.
Cecilia Ryan: She said no broken arms or legs… she’ll handle it. Let them know who you’re here as a guest of…. What?… hang on, I’ll ask.
Mute.
Cecilia Ryan: How about broken orbital bones or maybe a jaw or two?
Lindsay Troy: (smirking) NO. Play nice.
Unmute.
Cecilia Ryan: She said play nice.
The muffled voice is heard slightly again. Cecilia nods, the caller apparently dissuaded from enacting a security guard massacre.
Cecilia Ryan: Alright, see you inside…
She hangs up the phone and notices her cousin putting his boots back on.
Kaz Troy: Maybe we should go outside. Y’know, just in case.
Cecilia nods, then hastily begins putting her boots back on as well.
Cecilia Ryan: Agreed.
She pulls the last boot on and tightens the laces, then stands up to go.
Cecilia Ryan: Better than sitting around here.
Kaz leads the way. The two cousins walk to the dressing room door and head out. Ami waves after them, not looking up from her phone.
Ami Troy: Bye bye kids! Have fun preventing a murder!
Lindsay watches her son and niece leave, then looks at her daughter.
Lindsay Troy: Not going with them?
The Merry Mischief Maker grins up at her mother and smiles.
Ami Troy: Who’s going to watch your back in case some dum dums get any bright ideas again?
The Queen considers this from her tiny terror, nods in agreement, and pushes the air pod back into her ear. She closes her eyes and walks back and forth, a light bounce in her step as Revolution continues on.
SINGLES MATCH
N/A
KINGSLAYER
VS.
CHICK GRILLBREAST
Backstage
NOPE.
Jason Johnson: Before we get to the World Championship match, Lindsay Troy’s first defense, I hear we’re headed to the back with Mary?
Eryk Masters: Yeah Jace, sounds like she’s got a special guest. Someone with an… I’m hearing vested interest in the outcome of the World title match?
Jason Johnson: So it could be anyone, really.
Eryk Masters: Could be.
The cameras flip back to the back, with Mary Kelly standing by herself before the shot zooms out and reveals none other than the former World Heavyweight Champion himself… the inimitable… the leader of the Empire… the Emperor himself… Joshua Breedlove. The crowd pops for him which gives him a half-smile as he wrings his hands together.
Mary Kelly: Josh, I gotta say, given the result of Master of the Mat… I’m surprised to see you smiling at all, even if it’s a half smile.
Breedlove: Oh, that’s all a front. I’m mad as fuck.
The crowd laughs and Mary Kelly goes a little wide-eyed.
Breedlove: But not like… go on a rampage and attack everyone and everything until I get what I want mad… or… attempt, but fail, at holding up the World Champion and look like a bunch of dipshit goons in the process mad… just like… normal mad.
He shrugs.
Breedlove: Hate to lose mad. Hate not accomplishing what I set out to accomplish mad. Wish I’d been able to give a different result mad. You know… balanced anger. I wanted to be standing here as the World Heavyweight Champion, Mary. Everyone knew that. I wanted to be able to take the title back to the Sanctum and use it to teach a lesson, but I failed. Failed at that, failed to even stay in the match long enough to have a chance at it.
Sometimes that’s just how it goes.
Mary Kelly: O…kay. Speaking of the World Champion, you mentioned that Lindsay Troy did manage to still make it to the arena in spite of all the umm, we’ll call it extra curricular activity on the Epicenter grounds. Any thoughts on what she had to say?
Breedlove: Old me wants me to just say “Nope” and move on, but I’ll give Lindsay Troy her flowers. She got the title she was after and did so by beating two very competent and game competitors. It’s like I said before… if Laura and I fail at that, we fail. That’s on us. My loss is on me.
The crowd is surprised at the admission and candor, but also chooses to show him love for how he’s handling it.
Mary Kelly: So what’s next, then?
Breedlove: Well, I had a doctor visit not that long ago, wanted to get my shoulder checked out after Master of the Mat, and I’m happy to say that I am cleared to compete.
The crowd pops.
Breedlove: And my motto this year has been to make success out of failure, so here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking I’m going to get into one of those Iron Will Classic qualifying matches… I know Deal wants me in there anyway… and when I make it there? I’ll go for gold. THE gold. I don’t know who else is gonna be in there with me, but it truly doesn’t matter. Time to change my fortunes, you know?
Mary Kelly: And if it’s Laura Seton against you in the qualifier?
Breedlove smiles.
Breedlove: Guess I’ve gotta overcome my record and beat Laura Seton.
Mary Kelly: Simple as that?
Breedlove: Simple as.
Mary Kelly: Any thoughts on all this stuff with HEXXX? The theatrics and whatever?
Breedlove smiles again and looks directly into the camera.
Breedlove: Nope.
Mary Kelly: There you have it. Breedlove takes a trip back in time to 2022 to give his thoughts… or lack thereof… on HEXXX while also indicating his interest in the Iron Will Classic. Can’t say I disagree with anything he said, either. Jason? Eryk?
Jason Johnson: No argument from me.
Eryk Masters: Samesies.
Backstage
LIKE TWO SHIPS
A focused-looking Lindsay Troy emerges from the Vae Victis locker room as we can already hear the roar of the Revolution crowd in the back as a single camera follows SHOOT’s World Heavyweight Champion on her way to the ring.
The champion is so focused, in fact, that she does not see a figure emerging from behind her heading in the complete opposite direction.
Jason Johnson: Oh, shit. Is that Dai… Kingslayer?
Eryk Masters: How could you confuse him for anyone else, Jason? But it looks like he could care less about the champion right now…
Indeed, Kingslayer walks into frame and then directly out of frame behind Lindsay Troy and does not engage the Vae Victis member whatsoever. He does, however, seem to be carrying two very large duffle bags and a… t-shirt cannon?
Jason Johnson: Where in the world is Kingslayer headed, Eryk?
Eryk Masters: Don’t know and don’t care, Jason! We’ve got a main event to call!
MAIN EVENT
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
MORITON
VS.
LINDSAY TROY (c)
ELSEWHERE
WHO DOESN'T LOVE A PARADE?
The Epicenter is roaring their approval at the Lindsay Troy victory, and the champion is out of breath – resting on the ropes trying to recharge from her hard-fought battle. But once again, her pomp and circumstance is cut short by the SHOOTtron coming to life…this time showing an entire PARADE on the street outside, slowly making its way towards the Epicenter.
Jason Johnson: You have GOT to be kidding me.
Eryk Masters: HEXXX really threw themselves a parade for winning Master of the Mat.
Jason Johnson: Which, in theory, would be fine if they didn’t keep interrupting the World Heavyweight Champion’s entrance, her speech, her match, her victory. I mean, enough is enough! The disrespect towards a champion no less…it’s unacceptable, unprofessional, and I’m totally not surprised that this group is engaging in these tactics.
The parade procession is comically over-the-top. The floats are all ghastly; think Nightmare Before Christmas meets SHOOT Project. There’s a giant balloon effigy of NC-17, complete with red bazooga hearts popping out of his eyes and a cartoon tongue wagging in immortalized lust. The Epicenter is booing, but the people out in the street seem to be loving it, like this was all supposed to be a planned part of Revolution.
Jason Johnson: These people have to be hired… no one and I mean no one likes HEXXX.
Eryk Masters: Calm down there, Alex Jones… I’m sure those people are… uh… well… enjoying something about this display.
The fans really erupt with malice though when the main parade float comes into view…a semi-truck fitted with an entire STAGE. On the front of it are the three demon masks that have come to be known as the HEXXX logo. On the stage in tow the actual members of HEXXX are assembled around a throne, where our 2024 Master of the Mat winner is seated in a sparkly pink king’s robe and a plastic tiara…the despicable NC-17.
He has a scepter in his hand that he’s wagging at the fans, as if he’s knighting them as their float rides by. On every side of him is a member of HEXXX; beside him is Lars Von Bremen, waving and having the time of his life…this guy’s probably never been to a parade, nevermind being on an actual float. Kingslayer is firing T-shirts out of a t-shirt gun with scary levels of precision. Ayumi is smiling wickedly, taking in her handiwork, as she seems to look right into the camera and through Lindsay Troy, despite the World Champion being in the center of the ring inside the Epicenter.
Johnny Vignochi is standing on one end of the float with a megaphone, announcing the entrance of the grand procession.
Johnny Vig: LAAAAADIES AAAAAND GENTLEMEEEEEN! The moment we’ve ALL been waiting for has FINALLY ARRIVED. HEXXX PROUDLY PRESENTS TO YOU…YOUR 2024 MASTER OF THE MAT WINNER!!!! Standing at 6’2 and weighing a healthy 234 pounds, hailing from the GREAT STAAAAATE of INDIANA! They call him the KING of CRASS. The CREAM of OBSCENE. The one and only….N-C SEVEN-TEEEEEEEEN!
Inside the Epicenter, the fans are hissing. LT shakes her head and rolls under the bottom rope, hastily grabbing her world championship and departing up the ramp.
Eryk Masters: It looks like the champ’s had enough of HEXXX’s shenanigans. She’s not sticking around to watch.
Jason Johnson: Nor should she. She can’t let them get under her skin…that’s what all of this is for, Eryk. One giant troll-job.
Eryk Masters: Oh God. Johnny Vig’s handing off the megaphone to NC-17. Maybe we should head up the ramp too, Jase. I dunno that I can stomach whatever it is this asshole’s gonna say.
NC-17 stands up from his throne and delivers a very king-like bow before taking the megaphone from Johnny. He clears his throat and lets out a hearty belch, readying a monologue.
BUT WAIT! There’s unexpected movement on one side of the float!!! Somebody has scrambled up atop the stage! THAT’S KAZ TROY, and he’s MAULING Lars Von Bremen! AND THERE’S CECILIA RYAN! CECILIA is PUMMELING Kingslayer!
Jason Johnson: It looks like Vae Victis has entered the chat!
Both crowds inside and outside the Epicenter are going wild as the Heirs to the Throne are taking the surprised HEXXX members to task! Kingslayer goes to try and bradish Cecilia Ryan with the t-shirt cannon, but she snatches it from his grasp and runs full bore into his gut, sending him FLYING off the decently-tall float and onto his back on the cement.
Lars screams in anger as he goes to reciprocate the attack, but Cecilia ducks and she joins her partner Kaz in using the big man’s momentum to back body drop him right on top of Kingslayer on the outside!
Jason Johnson: The Heirs to the Throne are setting their sites on NC-17’s throne right now!
As the pair make their way through a row of wacky inflatable arm-flailing tube demons, they completely lose sight of Ayumi Seppuku, who has grabbed a hold of one of the plywood set pieces and SLAMS it across the backs of Heirs to the Throne!
Ayumi launches herself on top of Cecilia Ryan, landing haymaker after haymaker until we see her LAUNCHED upwards, pulled by her collar off of Cecilia and throne prone onto the truck bed carrying the float.
Eryk Masters: OH SHIT! It’s Cecilia’s dad! It’s DAN RYAN! DAN RYAN IS HERE IN SHOOT!
Jason Johnson: The other part of one of the most DOMINANT tag teams in all of wrestling, the Inner Circle, Dan Ryan is NOT amused in the least by HEXXX’s antics.
Eryk Masters: Not only that… he’s been a World Champion pretty much everywhere he’s been… just like Lindsay!!
Ayumi looks up, her eyes a mix of shock and anger as she grits her teeth. By now Dan is climbing up onto the float as she scrambles to her feet. For a moment, Dan Ryan stands up to his full 6’7” height and stares daggers into the eyes on NC-17, who doesn’t know what to make of this, but looks a bit nervous.
But it’s not wise to turn your attention away from Ayumi Seppuku.
Suddenly she’s up and throwing wild punches and kicks at the much bigger man in front of her. Dan has his hands up and manages to block most of the strikes, but a few are getting through, and he slowly retreats backward away from the throne.
After one such punch catches him square in the jaw, he instinctively grabs at his face and snarls back at her. Another punch is caught in a clinch, then another, and Ayumi Seppuku ends up nearly eye to eye with Dan Ryan. He yells as he uses his body weight and momentum to lift her up and over him into a modified belly-to-belly suplex that sends her crashing through some of the lighting equipment for the float.
NC-17 turns to get a better look at the carnage, briefly looking out at the Heirs still trading blows with Lars Von Bremen and Kingslayer. He catches sight of Lars flinging Cecilia Ryan into one of the barricades holding back fans, and she crashes into it, slumping to the concrete. Quickly he turns his head back to Dan and Ayumi, concerned.
Again Ayumi is on her feet, surprising Dan Ryan. She charges him and deftly dodges an attempted boot to the face, slipping underneath and blasting him in the knee of his plant foot, dropping him to the float surface. He covers up as she stomps at him and manages to scramble to his feet, but this time Ayumi’s strikes are hitting more of their targets, and the two of them start to find themselves farther and farther away from the throne, where NC-17 is standing…
Alone.
Johnny Vig has high-tailed it through the crowd, because when the going gets tough, the weasels run away to save their own skin. What the sleazebag manager doesn’t count on is a tiny multicolored bundle of pent-up energy making a bee-line for him as he makes his escape. The fans make way for Ami Troy as she crashes into Johnny and starts furiously introducing him to her vintage Chuck Taylors.
‘Teen’s not sure what to do. Help Ayumi? Kingslayer? Lars is probably good on his own, right? Maybe saving himself isn’t such a bad idea. He turns around to jump off the opposite side of the float when he comes face to face with the Champ.
A very annoyed, very over-this-shit, Champ.
Eryk Masters: Uh oh.
Jason Johnson: He who hesitates is lost, ‘Ryk!
‘Teen shakes his head from left to right as he backs up and begs off, trying to plead with the Queen for a little bit of mercy. It’s all in good fun, right? Who doesn’t love a parade? She should understand, she’s won the Master of the Mat before. Right? Right???
Lindsay, though, carefully sets the World Title on the ground while keeping her eyes on ‘Teen. When she stands upright, she clocks him in the face with a stiff forearm that sends the #1 Contender falling ass over teakettle back into his throne then onto the stage.
Eryk Masters: Everything is breaking down out here, Jason. This private HEXXX security can’t contain it. SHOOT Project security is nowhere to be seen.
Jason Johnson: HEXXX didn’t account for everything, did they? This is great as far as I’m concerned!
Lindsay hauls NC-17 up by his ridiculous mohawk and continues pummeling him with shot after shot to his smug face. Before long, blood begins to trickle out of ‘Teen’s mouth and from a cut above his eyebrow, and it’s at that moment that the Queen sends a knee to his gut to double him over. She grabs him and lifts him up into the air, then turns around and looks for Ayumi.
The former Ronin Wraith is still having trouble with Troy’s brother-in-law at the back of the float, but for a quick flash, their eyes meet.
And that’s when the Queen drops NC-17 onto the World Title with a Package Piledriver.
Jason Johnson: Thy Kingdom Come onto the belt! NC-17 is laid out! An eye for an eye after that sneak attack after the World Title Match at Master of the Mat!
Eryk Masters: Insult to injury, Jase. Everything has blown up in HEXXX’s face tonight.
The eye contact between the former SHOOT Tag Champs and the Queen’s receipt to ‘Teen gives Dan Ryan an opening. He gets the upper hand on Ayumi and is able to toss her from the float. He makes a show of mockingly dusting his hands then walks over to the stage where his sister-in-law waits for a fist-bump.
Jason Johnson: The fallout from this and how HEXXX will respond are questions that will have to be answered in two weeks! We’re out of time! For Eryk Masters, I’m Jason Johnson! Thank you and good night!