| The heavy yet familiar guitar riff of “Walk” by Pantera sucker punches its way through silence as a beat up, dirty wrestling ring sits under a spotlight surrounded by darkness. The drums kick in, sending the song into it’s natural, guttural rhythm and the SHOOT Project helmet logo burns its way onto the dirty canvas. Seconds later, the rest of the SHOOT project logo brands itself onto the canvas. As the song continues to hammer forth, the mat begins to char and blacken, the logo turning white with ash. In the flames that begin to form, the faces of SHOOT Project Soldiers Akuma Satsui, Bobson Dugnutt, Chadwick Kyle, and Fuego Eterno appear in quick succession. The drums pick up speed, coming to their violent crescendo and the ring transitions to the traditional modern black canvas with white logo seen weekly in the Epicenter. Can’t you see I’m easily bothered by persistence… NEMESIS does battle in the ring with Joshua Breedlove before cutting quickly to a shot of Joe Wrestleman getting the flim flam from Bobson Dugnutt. One step from lashing out at you… Spinebuster Island goes toe to toe with Martial Law during their 20 minute tag team epic. You want in to get under my skin Call yourself a friend… Courtney Hatchett shows no fear against Akuma Satsui before we cut to several Fuckhaus members engaging in a group high five. I’ve got more friends like you What do I do… The Sin City Scoundrels and Spinebuster Island clash in a memorable clinic of tag team wrestling. Is there no standard anymore? The former #TJOMD arrives, throwing his arms out wide and basking in his moment, NEMESIS scowling behind him. What it takes Who I am Where I’ve been Belong… The last moments of the Shut Up & Fight Battle Royal play out, Curtis Rose coming out on top as the inaugural champion transitions to Shinji Takahashi winning the title from Rose. You can’t be something you’re not… Kitsune casts a spell on X-Calibur during the Redemption Rumble, an audible hiss permeating even the music. Be yourself By yourself Stay away from me… Haskell Payne and Robbie Bingo enjoy a couple bottles of Bingo’s Best before we cut to Joshua Breedlove in all his glory and then to NEMESIS putting in a valiant effort against Shinji. A lesson learned in life Known from the dawn of time… Jonah Silverkin scores a three count on Shinji, earning him the SUAF Championship transitions to Martial Law and GOOD JOB tearing into one another with gumption! RE-SPECT Curtis Rose holding the title becomes Shinji Takahashi holding the title before cutting to Jonah Silverkin raising the title in the air in victory. WALK The Shut Up & Fight Championship dominates the scene. What did you say… A flash of every Soldier on Shut Up and Fight goes by so fast that one couldn’t pick out the face of any particular Soldier. RE-SPECT Cut back to the pristine, black and white canvas emblazoned with the SHOOT Project emblem on it. WALK Jump cut LIVE to the Epicenter as red and blue pyro explodes on the ramp and stage. ARE YOU TALKING TO ME… |
Scott Kamura: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m Scott Kamura and to my left is none other than my new broadcast partner, DUTCH HARRIS and THIS is Shut Up and Fight!
The camera opens up over Kamura’s voice to show Harris and Kamura sitting next to each other, each adorned in SHOOT Project logo polos. Dutch is sporting a big smile on his face as Kamura looks down at his notes.
Dutch Harris: We’ve got a fun one for you tonight, folks, as newcomer and SHOOT Project veteran collide all over the card! We’re going to kick it off real quick, but FIRST… Snoopy Florence!
Backstage, Snoopy Florence looks almost forlorn. His skin is leathery tanned, his bleached hair almost a frizzy halo, his shorts positively packed. He looks down and shakes his head.
Snoopy Florence: Man, it’s like a guy can’t catch a break.
He looks up and puts a hand over his heart.
Snoopy Florence: See, I want to be on the straight and narrow. First straight thing in my life, baby. I wanna earn, get that title, be widely regarded. That’s been the dream since the juice box days, just life blessed me with things that felt like god himself was telling me, “Hey Snoop, make your nut by getting a nut”, dig?
At this he puts up his hands in an assuring fashion.
Snoopy Florence: It’s not that I’m upset at curtain jerking against a cat like the Mad Arab. Far from it. Any chance I got to put myself out there is a chance I relish. But I wanna be a wrestler, and then I see a guy like Mad Arab and my brain just can’t stop wanting to achieve for the art.
He looks off to the distance, smiling.
Snoopy Florence: A woman is kidnapped by Berber insurrectionists. Though their leader is gruff, she finds herself falling for him as they traverse the desert plains on the outskirts of Morocco. I’m envisioning a tender love scene that leaves nothing to the imagination. They were played by Sean Connery and Candace Bergen, but I can’t help but imagine…
He pantomimes a marquee.
Snoopy Florence: The Mad Arab. Lolly Chrysanthemum. “The Wind and the Lion”, lovingly remade in full nude glory by Snoopy Florence and Fuckhaus films. John Milius would weep at the beauty. He’d say to me at the awards show, “Snoop, that move was mine. But it’s yours now.”
A deep sigh.
Snoopy Florence: Alas. It ain’t meant to be. So I’m gonna have to beat on you, Mad Arab. But afterwards? Let’s talk development deal. Cause I know talent when I sees it, baby.
He shakes his arms out, shadowboxes a couple of jabs, and then grins like a puppet made of velour. He walks off screen and we cut away…
Backstage, Snoopy Florence looks almost forlorn. His skin is leathery tanned, his bleached hair almost a frizzy halo, his shorts positively packed. He looks down and shakes his head.
Snoopy Florence: Man, it’s like a guy can’t catch a break.
He looks up and puts a hand over his heart.
Snoopy Florence: See, I want to be on the straight and narrow. First straight thing in my life, baby. I wanna earn, get that title, be widely regarded. That’s been the dream since the juice box days, just life blessed me with things that felt like god himself was telling me, “Hey Snoop, make your nut by getting a nut”, dig?
At this he puts up his hands in an assuring fashion.
Snoopy Florence: It’s not that I’m upset at curtain jerking against a cat like the Mad Arab. Far from it. Any chance I got to put myself out there is a chance I relish. But I wanna be a wrestler, and then I see a guy like Mad Arab and my brain just can’t stop wanting to achieve for the art.
He looks off to the distance, smiling.
Snoopy Florence: A woman is kidnapped by Berber insurrectionists. Though their leader is gruff, she finds herself falling for him as they traverse the desert plains on the outskirts of Morocco. I’m envisioning a tender love scene that leaves nothing to the imagination. They were played by Sean Connery and Candace Bergen, but I can’t help but imagine…
He pantomimes a marquee.
Snoopy Florence: The Mad Arab. Lolly Chrysanthemum. “The Wind and the Lion”, lovingly remade in full nude glory by Snoopy Florence and Fuckhaus films. John Milius would weep at the beauty. He’d say to me at the awards show, “Snoop, that move was mine. But it’s yours now.”
A deep sigh.
Snoopy Florence: Alas. It ain’t meant to be. So I’m gonna have to beat on you, Mad Arab. But afterwards? Let’s talk development deal. Cause I know talent when I sees it, baby.
He shakes his arms out, shadowboxes a couple of jabs, and then grins like a puppet made of velour. He walks off screen and we cut away…
Dutch Harris: So this is awkward… while that backstage vignette was going on, we received word from a “Dr. E. Jackson” that the Mad Arab has not cleared his physical tonight and will therefore be unable to compete… but, Snoopy Florence still has a match and it’ll be against… Scott?
Scott Kamura: Elbow Jackson. Or E. Jackson, coincidentally…
Dutch Harris: Hmm. Coincidence or not, hmm… we’ve got Elbow Jackson taking on Snoopy Florence, and that match is RIGHT NOW.
The camera returns to ringside, with Dutch Harris and Scott Kamura!
Dutch Harris: Even though at times, that match seemed somewhat like a dance-off, that was a crazy nice win for Elbow Jackson there!
Scott Kamura: I never thought I’d see an elbow based offense before, and even with that… never thought it’d be successful, but here we are. Elbow Jackson moves to 3-1 in singles competition in the SHOOT Project. He must be in line for a Shut Up and Fight Championship match at some point, right?
Dutch Harris: You’d think so! I do come away from this wondering what really happened with the Mad Arab and if he’ll be seeking to make an explanation or get revenge on ol’ Dr. E. Jackson, who I’m… pretty sure… was just Elbow Jackson sending in a fake doctor’s note.
Scott Kamura: Astute. Up next, we’ve got La Gorrion in her second match taking on Boyd Walton, of Make Championships Great Again. Boyd’s had a hard time finding a win in singles competition and he looks to get off of that slide here against the rookie La Gorrion. That’s next!
After the bell, a voice yells out over the PA, it’s tone stern and clear.
Caballero: La Gorrion!
The man himself appears, cape billowing, his white tunic immaculate. He stands firm, his spine erect, his chest puffed out. He paces for a moment as she eyes him with suspicion.
Caballero: You struck me as a coward would. I assumed you an honorable combatant, but you proved yourself as low as a dog! P’too!
He spats on the ground and frowns.
Caballero: In you I assumed I had found a kindred combatant. I was so impressed with your skills in the ring. I thought you someone who could learn. Someone possibly worthy of taking up the mantle when my years claim me. But you are a…a…
He looks down, then finally back up to her, with fury in his eyes.
Caballero: …a common brigand!!
She cocks her head, almost in confusion. We can see her mouth the word “Brigand?” and chuckle.
Caballero: I am El Caballero Blanco. Defender of the weak. Righter of injustices. But most importantly, for you and me La Gorrion…I am a destroyer of evildoers. I am strong and good at wrestling. I am El Caballero Blanco, and I challenge you to honorable combat!! Be it tomorrow, the day after, the week after, the month after–you will learn the error of your ways at the hand of El Caballero Blanco!!
With a flourish of his cape, the man exits, leaving a bemused La Gorrion in the ring as we cut away…
We cut back to the back where we see GODSPEED standing just outside of the go position. Tadakatsu Jin, Kitsune, and Fuego Eterno are all standing together, Jin and Fuego nodding their heads. Kitsune is listening to them as they talk to him over and over and over again.
Jin: You got this.
Fuego: What does the fox say?
Jin: He says HE’S GOT THIS.
Fuego: What does the fox say??
Jin: HE SAYS NEW CHAMP.
Fuego: KITSUNE! WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!
Suddenly, Kitsune’s head pops up and he looks over at the people walking past. He notices sitting against the wall, watching the TV monitor showing the ring is a Soldier eating a sandwich.
Kitsune: You. Ey bruh, what’s your name?
The Soldier points to himself.
SKR: I am Shin-Ki-Ryoku.
Fuego: I draw the line at saying that.
Kitsune: What are you doin’ with your life, homie?
SKR: I’m…
He looks around.
SKR: …eating…a sandwich?
Kitsune: You wanna roll with us?
SKR: What do you mean?
Fuego: I don’t want to learn his name, come on…
Kitsune: You in GODSPEED now.
SKR: I am?
Jin walks over and puts his arm around Shin-Ki. He also forcibly walks him over to Fuego and Kitsune.
Fuego: New guy, ask him what does the fox say.
Shin-Ki points to Kitsune, looking at Fuego trying to make sure he’s got the right person.
SKR: I…okay. What does the fox say?
Kitsune: He says NEW CHAMP.
Fuego: What does the fox say, Kitsune?!
Kitsune: HE SAYS NEW CHAMP.
Jin: WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY??!
Kitsune: HE SAYS NEW CHAMP!
Fuego: NEW CHAMP!
Kitsune: NEW CHAMP!
Jin: NEW CHAMP!
Kitsune daps up Fuego and Jin. All three of them turn and look at Shin-Ki Ryoku who seems rather perplexed about the whole thing.
Kitsune: …look, homie. You with us now. We roll together. We protect each other. We say with a single unified voice FUCK SCOTT KAMURA!
Kamura, who happens to be walking by, stops.
Scott Kamura: What the hell did I do?
Kitsune: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SCOTT.
SKR: Yeah…SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID PIECE OF BUTT FUCKED DOG SHIT.
Kamura and the rest of GODSPEED turn and stare at Shin-Ki.
Fuego: That’s…a bit much.
Jin: Yeah, what the hell.
Kitsune: Dude’s got a wife and kids, man.
Kitsune looks at Scott.
Kitsune: I assume.
Scott Kamura: Actually, I…
Kitsune: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON, OLD MAN. SHUT…THE…FUCK…UP.
Kamura sighs.
Scott Kamura: I hate you guys.
He walks off. The four members of GODSPEED turn and look at one another.
Kitsune: Um…
He snaps his fingers.
Kitsune: NEW CHAMP!
GODSPEED: NEW CHAMP!
Kitsune: NEW CHAMP!!
GODSPEED: NEW CHAMP!
And with that…we leave our four ne’er-do-wells.
Dutch Harris: What a crazy hard fought match! I think Kitsune took like, twenty Code Blue’s before finally being put down. What a crazy amount of resilience in that guy!
Scott Kamura: Yeah, I gotta say, personality aside I’m impressed with the grit that Kitsune displayed here. He clearly wanted to win this matchup and gave Courtney Hatchett everything she could handle. Damn, that’s a tough loss.
Dutch Harris: Well, there’s always next time, right? Kitsune will surely get another opportunity, though I think he and the rest of GODSPEED will look to the TRIAD Championship tournament, which continues at Revolution by the way, to capture their gold!
A recovering Kitsune stumbles over to the announce desk and leans against it for support.
Kitsune: Ay, Scott… bruh.
Scott Kamura: Listen man, I’m sorry about the–
Kitsune: Shut the fuck up, SCOTT.
Black.