RINGSIDE

Eryk Masters and Other Guy are stationed at the commentator’s table and are dressed to impress for a festive evening loaded with great wrestling matches and plenty of entertainment.  

Eryk Masters: Welcome back folks!  It’s been one helluva night.  

Other Guy: Well, we’ve been waiting a while for this event.  The buildup has been spectacular.  The tournament went above and beyond what everyone dreamed of.  All the competitors involved really put on a clinic and showed the entire world that the SHOOT Project is still a force to be reckoned with.  

Eryk Masters:  I couldn’t have said it better, partner.  

The lights suddenly dim.  Spotlights direct everyone’s attention to the stage.  “Dead Guy” by Ministry starts playing and everyone in attendance realizes the duo making their way to the stage.

Other Guy:  Well, this puts a damper on what I said moments ago.  

Eryk Masters:  Bobby Tick and Broodwarden are on their way out and Broodwarden is one scary dude, OG.

Other Guy:   Yeah, I wouldn’t mess with him, but I wouldn’t mind treating Tick like Chris Rock on an Oscar stage, to be honest.

Eryk Masters: I was waiting for you to go there.

Bobby Tick waddles from behind the curtain and embraces the hatred being thrown his direction.  The rotund little sinister penguin takes a few steps forward and shouts at the crowd with an enthusiastic tone.  

“BRACE YOURSELF!” He shouts, “FOR YOUR IN THE PRESENCE OF GREATNESS!” It’s not but a second after Tick’s emphatic bellow that the inconceivable giant, Broodwarden, ducks underneath the screen and steps onto the stage.  The SHOOT Project faithful displays a showing of dislike as the colossus begins to pound and grind a fist into the palm of his substantially massive meat hook.  

Other Guy:   As I said…I wouldn’t mess with that guy.  

Eryk Masters:  It was just a couple weeks ago that Bobby Tick interrupted Laura Seton during her in-ring interview at Revolution.  Tick seems to think there are people backstage that fear his client, and I’m sure there are, but little does he realize that the men and women of SHOOT Project are called “soldiers” for a reason.  Particularly because they know when they see a good fight, and I don’t doubt that they see Broodwarden as more of a messy giant than a true competitor in the ring.

Other Guy:   Well, if he’s anything like the Broodwarden I’ve seen in promotions that span the globe then he’s not messy.  If anything…he’s methodical, and he’s dangerous as fuck.

Tick and Broodwarden dodge the shower of jeers as they descend the ramp toward the ring.  Bobby is not without comments as continues to insult the fans in attendance and laugh off the response he receives.  

They confront the squared circle and Broodwarden grips the top rope and pulls himself onto the apron with ease.  Tick extends his arm and directs the crowd’s attention to his undeniably athletic client.  The masked monster lifts his leg over the ropes and then hurries to the center of the ring where he throws his right arm in the air.  The crowd continues to boo as Bobby Tick squeezes between the ropes and claps as he walks toward his client.  A referee suddenly steps into the shot, hands Bobby a microphone, and then nestles himself against the turnbuckle in the background of the Tick-Broodwarden close up.  

The music slowly fades as Tick’s devious grin stretches ear to ear.

Bobby Tick:  Ladies, gentlemen, or whatever it is you prefer to call yourself today, here we stand at a SHOOT Project big event, a ‘pay per view’ event, THE APEX…and Broodwarden is not booked.  It is, without a doubt, the biggest slap in the face one professional wrestler could ever endure.  We’ve been with the SHOOT Project for THREE MONTHS and my client has yet to be ‘officially’ booked against anyone on the main roster.  Exactly three months to this day.  This is selfish.  Selfishness.  Shameless selfishness.  

Other Guy:   That’s actually because there’s been better stuff happening than the introduction of a giant and his dumbass manager.  Nobody cares who and what you’ve been.  They care about who’s going to win the ApeX over the next two nights, baby!

Eryk Masters: I agree.  I get it.  Bobby Tick wants to sell his client’s abilities and instill fear into the souls of all those involved with the SHOOT Project.  The problem is…what makes him different than any other giant that’s been here before?  All I see is a big man with a small mouthpiece.  Nothing new.

Bobby Tick:  We’re just not friends.  That’s what it is.  We’re not friends with the bookers.  We’re not friends with the brass.  We’re…not part of the cliq.  We don’t talk nonsense with other superstars or act like we know all the answers about everything in the world.  We don’t inter…act.  We don’t kowtow to the pettiness of the veterans who have nothing left to lose, or nothing left to accomplish.  We’re not one of you, we don’t want to be one of you, and we never will be one of you.  It’s just not what we do.  No, my client is here to WRESTLE.  He’s here to DOMINATE.  Together we’re a virus, a worm, that’s digging and will consume until there’s nothing left.  There’s nothing you can do to fix it.  There’s nothing you can do to change that.  We’re here…forever…plaguing your reality.

There’s an mass shout of “SHUT – THE – FUCK – UP” and claps that follow.  Tick snickers and he continues.

Bobby Tick:  Blah blah blah, am I right?  Same old bullshit from Bobby Tick.  WHEN WILL IT END?  We will stand in this ring like a fucking broken record and consistently tell you what it is that we do until the time comes that we can fucking DO IT.  If you don’t like that?  Well, then you can take it up with the people that run the God damned show.  It’s that simple.  

Bobby Tick:  If it’s one thing we’ve learned over the last few weeks it’s that there’s nobody backstage worth their weight in salt.  Nobody has a sack big enough to challenge Broodwarden.  They’ve witnessed this inhuman monster dominate a couple of your pussified, worthless, talentless, shit-for-brain excuses for wrestlers, and they’re puckering up like a bunch of diamond mine sphincters.  Hence why we laid out the challenge to the testicle-less Laura Seton, and…she took it!  Leave it to a woman to interfere in a man’s job and take up the challenge.  Aint THAT a bitch?  It really is.  Then again, perhaps Ben Bronson said it best about this place? SHOOT Project really is a damned Womyn’s Land…

The crowd’s reaction began to escalate during that last sentence, and it wasn’t a pop for the reference to Ben Bronson.  The entire crowd has turned their attention to the stage where Laura Seton stands with a microphone in her grip.  The crowd is going crazy as the greatest Sin City Champion in history glares toward the bulbous little bastard in the ring.  She wears her red leather jacket with her black “20 Minutes of Terror” tights and black boots.

Eryk Masters:  Yes!  Laura Seton has arrived!

Other Guy:  Please, Laura, shut him up any way you can!

Laura Seton: Please… STOP!

She speaks as she walks to the ring.

Laura Seton: When I signed here 10 years ago?  I had the Sin City Championship around my waist within eight weeks!  This time around?  It’s been seven weeks and like your guy there, I haven’t had a match yet either so, if someone has reason to be pissed?  It’s me!

Eryk Masters:  I never thought of it that way, OG.  The ApeX has been SHOOT’s prime focus and there’s a good handful, perhaps more than that, that have not been booked because of it.

She scales the ringsteps to the apron and enters the ring.  She’s immediately met with a Bobby Tick retort.

Bobby Tick:  It’s about damn time, Ms. Seton.  Is that really all it took?  Eight weeks?  Boy, times have changed.  The culture is different these days.  The Monolith of Mayhem that stands behind me is no Alex Cruz or Loco Martinez.  

There’s a brief pop for the references.

Bobby Tick: A lot has changed, hasn’t it?  Here you stand, seven weeks in, with nothing to show for it other than a landfill of ghosts that haunt you and this fat little suited bastard talking enough shit to clog the Alaskan pipeline.  Oh, and this guy…

He turns and points at the masked giant grinding his knuckles into his palm and cracking his neck.

Bobby Tick:  Ms. Seton…I do believe that you accepted a challenge a couple of weeks ago, am I correct?  I also believe that there’s a referee present.  According to my watch [he looks down at his Patek Phillipe Nautilus 5711A]…we’ve got enough time for you to be shuffled back into yet another retirement.  We’ve got enough time for you to try and live up to that stupid saying printed on your tights.  So, whata’ya say, bae?  You wanna get your little bitch-mits on my monster?  

She takes a step closer, grinding her teeth, and glaring a hole into his ugly mug.

Laura Seton: You keep talking about your monster there.  Should I be scared?

She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a hair tie.

Laura Seton: Maybe.  But while you’re helping with history lessons, may I remind you of Frank Garvin?

A few smart fans pop at the name as she removes her jacket.

Laura Seton: Or did your search engine not go back to LEGACY?

She takes off her boots and begins to tie her hair into a ponytail.  

Bobby Tick:  Cute.  You’re audacious.  We like that.  Listen – we don’t need to play the history game and resurrect the Garvin name; he went up like the Challenger many moons ago.  Go’head and get yourself ready.  Do your hair.  Dust off your feet.  Prep.  These folks came here to watch a fight.  That’s what they’re gonna get.  

He’s just about to walk away, but he stops with a sudden realization.

Bobby Tick:  OH!  And…yes, you should be scared.  Very, very scared.

Bobby Tick turns and nods. The referee beams toward Laura Seton who returns a clarifying nod of her own.  The ref signals for the bell as Laura and Broodwarden begin to skip around the ring, circling each other, like two predators fighting over a slab of meat.  Bobby Tick waddles out of the ring, hops to the floor below and lays the microphone on the commentator’s table.  He winks to OG and Masters.

Other Guy:   HERE WE GO, ‘Ryk!  We’ve got ourselves a freebie!  Nobody saw this match coming!  

Eryk Masters:  Laura Seton…Broodwarden…the debut of the monster in his first official match with a member of our main roster and it’s against one of THE BEST of all time…

Other Guy:   He’s going to have his hands full because Laura is one of the most athletic babes out there.

And she wastes no time.  Seton jolts forward and lays a stiff right stomp to Broodwarden’s mid-section and the monster is hardly fazed.  Broodwarden takes a step back and responds with a vicious right hook that Seton dodges.  She ducks underneath the attack and slides to her right to deliver a slew of punches to Broodwarden’s ribs.  The referee skips around the action and Seton continues her offensive.  

Other Guy:   And just like THAT – Laura is off and she’s wasting no time.

The fans are cheering, and Laura’s gaining momentum.  Broodwarden stands in the center of the ring as the veteran spins around him like a tornado and continues to deliver strike after strike.  He takes a couple knuckles to the back of the ribs, a shot to the spine, a jab to the opposite rib cage, and then a sickening stomp to the back of his right knee that sends Broodwarden stumbling forward.  The problem is…he’s not down.  Laura’s finesse is easily on point as she scurries toward Broodwarden.  She spins him around and her crosshairs are on the big man’s masked face as she lunges upward with a closed fist!  Her knuckles never meet his skull and instead are caught in the bear trap Broodwarden calls a hand.  Seton’s eyes open wide and she cringes as Broodwarden begins to squeeze and clench her fist with horrific pressure.

Eryk Masters:  Christ – he’s going to crush her hand!  

Laura is falling to a knee.  She clenches her teeth.  Her eyes are tightly shut.  She’s in pain as the giant continues to crush her hand.  He changes direction, and releases the grip, but only to respond with a vicious right boot into her chest!  Seton slides across the canvas and falls flat onto her back in the center of the ring.  She coughs, and holds her chest with both hands.  

“Smash her to bits!” Screams Tick from the outside as Broodwarden creeps toward Seton who is now lying on her side.  He doesn’t resist and suddenly begins to stomp on Seton.  Not once.  Not twice.  Not three times.  Four times!  Five times!  Six times!  Seton takes every single boot in sequence as she slowly slithers toward the ropes with a distressed look plastered across her beautiful face.  She reaches the ropes and hugs them as the referee jumps between the wrestlers.  Broodwarden takes a few steps back and releases an audible snort.  His muscles bulge.  His veins protrude through his leathery thick skin.  He slams his fists into his vastus lateralis and shoves the referee out of his path.  The tiny man stumbles backward and watches as Broodwarden bends forward and grabs Laura Seton by the ponytail.  She’s as light as a feather in his grasp.  Broodwarden looks her in the eyes, growls, and uses one arm to whip her across the ring!  The crowd dramatically boos as Seton smacks the mat with a violent thud and slides across the ring while nursing her lower back!

Other Guy:   Jesus Christ!  

Bobby Tick slaps the ring apron and begins to laugh maniacally.  

“Did you SEE that?” He questions as he turns to the crowd and points his index finger at his head.  “That’s POWER!  That’s STRENGTH!  That’s MIGHT!” He follows the shouting with excessive and hyperbolic laughter.  

Eryk Masters:  It’s clearly apparent that Bobby Tick is a psycho.

Other Guy:   Most agents are, in their own special way, a sociopath. 

Broodwarden confronts the fallen Seton as she strives to gain composure.  Her ponytail is disheveled, and she arches her back with a teeth grinding cringe.  She slowly looks over her shoulder, but she’s not quick enough to catch Broodwarden’s size 19 boot crashing down upon her upper back as he kicks her forward into the ropes.  Her chest bounces off the ropes and Laura flops back onto the ring canvas.  Broodwarden wastes no time as he lifts her up and into the air.  His aim is for the turnbuckle as he hangs her upside down from the corner post with her ankles locked underneath the top buckle.  Then he unleashes a furious set of knee strikes directly into her upside down body.  One!  Two!  Three!

“FOUR! FIVE!” Bobby Tick’s volume increases with every strike as he counts along.  The crowd is littering the arena with an immense quantity of dislike for Broodwarden and Tick.  Broodwarden takes a few steps back after an 8th grueling knee and Seton’s ankles unlock.  She melts off the turnbuckle, and flips to sit facing the corner.  Broodwarden looks toward the crowd, slams his fist into the palm of his hand and creates a horrific bellow that sends vibrations through the Epicenter.  

“OHHHH MYYYY GOD!” Bobby Tick shouts from the outside with his eyes wide open and in enthusiastic disbelief from the sound he just heard exit his clients mouth.   Broodwarden rushes toward Laura and his aim is to continue domination.  He reaches toward Seton, but the veteran spins away and trips Broodwarden!  The monster lunges toward the turnbuckle and catches himself before his face can meet the post.  He shakes his head and quickly spins around.  Seton has summoned enough momentum to compose herself!  The crowd is ecstatic as the former Sin City Champion hurls toward Broodwarden.  She scales the buckles and delivers a VICIOUS knee into Broodwarden’s face!  She leaps over the ropes after the attack and lands feet first onto the ring apron.  The crowd is going wild as Broodwarden’s hand covers his face to sell the knee strike.

Other Guy:  Seton with a flying knee!  She’s back in action!  She needs to think and act quick because this monster is going to be difficult to put down.

Eryk Masters:  Seton grips the top ropes…her eyes are on Broodwarden as he peels his back from the corner.  Her legs are anxiously moving as she prepares herself for…

Other Guy:   Here she goes!

Seton uses the rope to slingshot herself onto it, and then she leaps forward and delivers a crucial flying forearm to the side of Broodwarden’s skull!  

Other Guy:   YES!  Did you hear that?  I believe that’s the sound of a skull cracking!

Eryk Masters:  She got a TON of air on that, and she made DAMN sure she connected with authority!

Seton falls to the canvas, tucks, and rolls.  She nurses her forearm after impact.  She put a lot into that strike.  However, the look on her face transitions into horror as she realizes that Broodwarden never left his feet, is still standing, and isn’t shaken.  She hurries to her feet, runs, and unleashes a combination of kicks, punches, palm strikes, and then finishes that off with a standing drop kick that barely pushes Broodwarden backward.  The giant takes a couple steps back and rests against the ropes.  Laura turns her attention to the turnbuckle.  She hurries toward it, scales the buckles, leaps off and toward the monster…she’s going for another flying forearm smash!  NO! Broodwarden catches her by the throat!

BOOM!

And immediately ignites the arena with a falling chokeslam!  The crowd grows silent as Laura’s body lies splattered on the canvas; her arms and legs spread out.  Her eyes are closed.  

“Pin her!  Pin her!” Tick jumps up and down with excitement while slapping the ring apron.  Broodwarden simply, and with a disgusting sign of disrespect, places the tip of his index finger on her chest as the referee slides onto the canvas for the count.

ONE!

Eryk Masters:  This crowd is silent!  This can’t be it for Seton!  C’mon Laura! C’mon!

TWO!

Other Guy:   Her eyes are open!  I think she realizes…

KICK OUT!

Other Guy & Eryk Masters: YES!

The crowd is going ballistic as Broodwarden slowly turns a gaze toward the referee.  The official holds up two fingers and hurries back to his feet.  Bobby Tick’s hands are on top of his head, and he’s in absolute disbelief.  

“WHAT!?” Tick exclaims.  “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!” He shouts as he begins to quickly pace back and forth outside the ring and scratches his pock and dimple filled second chin.  

Other Guy:   Ha! See that, Tick?  Your guy can’t get away with one THAT easily.  This is what happens when you face someone with YEARS of experience and can’t be stopped with a single chokeslam.

Seton rolls onto her side and nurses her clavicle as Broodwarden stands over the fallen star.  He begins to playfully tap the tip of his boot against Seton’s back, and then bends forward to slap her on top of the head a couple times.  The crowd continues to boo as Broodwarden plays with his prey.  The giant grabs both of Seton’s ears.  She yelps through her clenched teeth as he stands her up using her ears.  He spins her around to face him, and then delivers a gruesome short arm clothesline!  Seton spins like a propeller and lands awkwardly onto her left hip.

Eryk Masters:  Oh man, that didn’t look good.  

Other Guy:   Laura needs to catch up!  She needs more offense!  

Eryk Masters:  I’m just hoping Laura still has her head attached after that.

Broodwarden turns to the crowd and slices his thumb across his throat to signal that this match is over.  He bends down to lift Seton back to her feet.  He lets out a vociferous roar.  

“GIVE’ER THE LONG GOODBYE!” Shouts Tick as Broodwarden continues his assault.  The crowd’s booing increases as Broodwarden gears up for the cobra clutch backbreaker that he calls the Long Goodbye.  Laura suddenly falls into a split leg position!  Broodwarden looks down as Seton uses the splits to punch Broodwarden in the jewels!  The crowd is going wild!  Broodwarden folds forward, grabs his groin, and stumbles toward the corner of the ring!  Seton is breathing heavily, but she’s not beaten!  A smile appears on her beautiful face as Seton eyes the roaring crowd while slowly rises to her feet.  

Other Guy:   There will be no little Broodwardens anytime soon.

Eryk Masters:  My goodness, OG, did you see her legs split level with the mat?  She’s still got it!

The crowd agrees as “YOU STILL GO IT” chants are followed with synchronized claps.  Seton is trying to summon as much energy as possible as she confronts the behemoth.  There’s no need to spin him around and attack.  She’s going to attack him from behind.  She begins to stomp a mudhole into the back of Broodwarden’s knees!  The crowd rages with every impact.  Broodwarden falls face first into the corner and then onto his knees.  Seton kicks him in the ribs. Not once, but twice, and then follows up that rib shot with a stiff knee into Broodwarden’s mid-spine.   The monster absorbs every blow.  She stomps on his calves several times, and then his heels.  She takes a few steps back and releases a gut wrenching roar of emotion!  She runs toward the opposite turnbuckle, and then wastes no time to speed forward!  She leaps…CANNONBALL!  She rolls off Broodwarden and onto her feet as she watches the monster continue to hug the corner.  He’s made very little noise.  He’s barely moved.  He’s starting to rise.  She seems irritated.  There’s no waiting around for a man of his stature to rise and return.  She rushes toward the ropes and baseball slides underneath them.  She stands.  She runs toward the turnbuckle that Broodwarden calls a resting spot.  She scales it from the outside and immediately uses the top buckle to leap forward and she knees Broodwarden in the direct center of his masked face!

Other Guy:   DIRECT HIT!

Eryk Masters:  That even made MY eyes water!

YOU STILL GOT IT!  YOU STILL GOT IT!

The ApeX crowd motivates Laura Seton as she hurls herself toward Broodwarden and drop kicks him in the knee cap!  Broodwarden immediately topples to the canvas.  

“REF!” Meanwhile Bobby Tick has gained the referee’s attention and signals for him to hurry to ringside while Laura Seton continues her attack.  Seton assaults Broodwarden with a wild array of punch and slap combinations while he kneels.  She bashes him upside the head.  She smacks him in the face.  She kicks him in the mid-section.  She’s unleashing absolute fury in a blur of energetic rage as the crowd eats it up!  Broodwarden bobbles back and forth as Laura takes a step back and then lays her hand onto the mat…and…AU BATIDO KICK!

Other Guy:  ANGEL’S FURY!

Eryk Masters:  OG! Laura Seton has done it!  GOLIATH…MEET DAVID!

The crowd is going ballistic as Seton studies Broodwarden.  The monster isn’t moving, but is still on his knees.  He…he..he falls over!  

Other Guy:   PIN HIM LAURA!

Eryk Masters:  Wait, the referee is still talking with Bobby Tick.  Something doesn’t seem right, OG.  

Other Guy:   That SON OF A BITCH…he just slipped something to the referee!

Laura is about to fall onto and pin Broodwarden when the referee suddenly hurries back toward the action and calls for the bell!  

Eryk Masters:  WHAT!?  WHAT THE HELL!?

Other Guy:  THAT MOTHER FUCKER JUST PAID THE REFEREE…wait…is that even a real SHOOT Project referee?

Eryk Masters:  I didn’t even realize it until now, but you’re right…HE’S AN IMPOSTER!

The crowd grows silent as Seton spins around to face the fake SHOOT referee.  She’s confused.  She is livid!  She confronts the fake and gets in his face.  The ‘ref’ attempts to walk away, but Laura grabs him by the collar and looks down at the wad of money he’s attempting to shove in his pocket.  She pulls his arm back as a couple of one hundred dollar bills rain onto the ring canvas. 

Other Guy:   I am stunned.  This is bullshit, Eryk.  BULLSHIT!

The crowd agrees with Other Guy’s sentiment as the chants of “BULLLLLLLSHIT…BULLLLLSHIT…BULLLLSHIT” begin to flood the arena.  The man rips his arm from Seton’s grasp and he falls to the mat to scoop up his payout.  Breedwarden sits up behind Seton!  He oddly turns his head toward her as she watches the imposter roll out of the ring.  She chases after him and presses the ropes.  She shouts and points at Bobby Tick who now holds a microphone in his hand.  

Bobby Tick:  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!  THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH DUE TO DISQUALIFICATION…

Seton shakes her head and smirks as she looks down at the bulbous son of a bitch below.  He emphasizes every word with small spatters of spittle as he continues.  However, Laura doesn’t realize that Broodwarden is slowly rising behind her, and has his crosshairs dead set on her destruction…

Bobby Tick:  …THE COLOSSUS OF GLOBAL DOMINATION…THE DESOLATION DESPOT…THE MASKED MOUNTAIN OF MAYHEM…BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDWARRRRRRRRRDENNNNNNNNNNNNN

Other Guy:   Laura! Turn around!

Eryk Masters:  I CAN’T WATCH!

The crowd attempts to gain Laura’s attention, but it’s too late.  The giant wraps Laura up from behind in the cobra clutch!  He lifts her up into the air and then immediately slams her down onto his knee with The Long Goodbye!  Her lower back bends violently as the monster tightens the clutch and begins to choke her out.  Her eyes slowly fade into her head.  The timekeeper continues to ring the bell as the crowd showers the manager and his client with jeers.  Bobby Tick drops the microphone and awkwardly rolls into the ring.  Tick stands, dusts himself off, and points at the victim as she lay motionless in Broodwarden’s submission.  Tick psychotically laughs, and then realizes that Broodwarden has no intention of releasing her.  

Other Guy:   Get someone out here NOW!

Eryk Masters:  SECURITY!

That won’t be necessary because Tick pleads with Broodwarden to release the clutch.  The monster releases her, and she falls to the mat; motionless.  

Eryk Masters: We need medical assistance immediately!

Broodwarden slowly stands.  The crowd watches as the monster blankly stares, his muscles bulge, his veins explode, and he moves his shoulders up and down.  Bobby Tick looks down at the fallen Laura Seton and then signals for him and Broodwarden to exit the ring; but not before Bobby gets a shot of his own.  He steps on Seton’s body and walks over her as he claps his hands like he’s completed a job well done.  

Other Guy:  That son of a bitch deserves every bad thing that’s going to eventually happen to him.  ALL OF IT!

Eryk Masters:  They didn’t kill her, OG, and they’re going to pay for that.  She’s going to go ape shit on those two bastards.  I guarantee it!

EMTs rush down the stage and bypass Tick and Broodwarden who are doing their best impression of not caring and finding the scene comedic.  The crowd shouts obscenities at Bobby Tick who responds with an arrogant smirk as Broodwarden follows behind.