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Training Day


The SHOOT Project presentsTRAINING DAY:-Atlanta, Georgia-:EARLIER THIS WEEK:{Daniel Jones is, seated at his desk, talking on the phone.}Daniel Jones: The buy rate should be great; we have some interestingmatch-ups.{Someone knocks on the door.}Daniel Jones (CONT'D): (To the door)  Come in. (Back to the person on thephone)  Nah, I think we are the first to add fire to a casket match.{Ben "The Blackout" Jackman walks in.  Jones sticks one finger up in theair, directing Jackman to wait one moment.  Jackman shifts impatiently onhis feet.}Daniel Jones (CONT'D): Oh, what the fire Marshall does not know will notkill him.  Yes. Bye.{Jones hangs up the phone.}Daniel Jones (CONT'D): Yes Jackman,Ben Jackman: I have a complaint about my booking for Training Day.{Jones laughs.}Daniel Jones: Ah yes, the Barnyard Brawl with Joking John Jinx.Ben Jackman: Yeah, that.  You see, I am a serious wrestler.{Jones's eyes gloss over.  It is obvious he does not care whatsoever.}Ben Jackman (CONT'D): I am a future main eventer in my opinion and you arebooking me in another match with that fucking psychopath.  In Arkansas noless,Daniel Jones: The possibilities for entertainment are endless.Ben Jackman: He is going to be in his element with all those barnyardanimals.  And what was that you said about cannibals?Daniel Jones: (Serious)  Grits do something awful to people. (Beat)  Now getout of here before I add a stipulation like you must wear a burlap sack overyour head!{Jackman glares at Daniel Jones, who does not care one bit, and storms outof the office.}CUT, TO:EARLIER TODAY{Joking John Jinx is smiling.  Sitting in front of him is a bald, thin, wanman in dirty jeans.  He is not wearing a shirt.}Joking John Jinx: So is it a deal my friend?Man: (Stuttering in a southern drawl)  Y-y-yes b-but only I-if I getchick-chick-chickJoking John Jinx: Yes, chicken heads. (Laughs wildly)  all you can eatbuffet!CUT, TO:PRESENT TIMEINT. ATLANTA GEORGIA   NIGHT{The shot is off the announcers.  They both look sketched out.}John: I do not even want to knowJames:  So folks, welcome to  Training Day ! Tonight, we are live fromAtlanta, Georgia and what an incredible night we have lined up for you! Tellthem John.John: Damn, why does the pay per view s always get the good stuff? James,tonight, we have the Barnyard Brawl match, the Extreme Limits match, theBirdcage match  and who could forget the main-event  SKULL V. JOSH JOHNSON AGAIN  FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE', best yet, it is in a two out ofthree falls stipulation  *Growls*  with that evil bitch, Dark Krystal, asthe special referee. You know, I bet you Josh and Jason set that up!James: I would not be surprised. Let us get on with our first match.Smelly Loser MatchAmorphous v. Simon StoneJames: Up first, we have Amorphous and Simon Stone squaring off.John: It is another Smelly Loser Match. This should be interesting.James:  another one, we have not had the first one!John: Ha, yeah, thanks to Josh Johnson. For once he done something right.{ Fuck me, Fuck me, I am one stupid Fuck me!  by the SHOOT Project CreativeTeam blare over the pa speakers. Amorphous makes his way down to the ringand warms himself up while awaiting his opponent.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing first in our opening contest,AMORPHOUS!{ Give me a break. I just woke up!  by the SHOOT Project Whatever Team blareover the pa speakers. Simon Stone makes his way down to the ring and warmshimself up before the bell  interesting.}Jon: Looks like Stone's ready for a fight.James: Well he just does not want to be the  Smelly Loser .John: Stone slides into the ring while Amorphous is still warming up. Stoneruns over and gives Amorphous a dropkick throwing him to the outside of thering.James: What, the hell is he looking for?John: Amorphous lifts the ring apron and reaches underneath for something.He comes up with a crowbar. What a second  a crowbar, what, the hell...Thisreminds me of the Old Shoot.James: Yeah there's no weapons allowed in this match.John: Well outside the ring, anything is legal.James: Amorphous hits Stone with the crowbar repeatedly as he comes outafter him.  Amorphous picks up the hurting Stone and locks in a sideheadlock.  Stone extends his left arm over the back of Amorphous andattempts to pull his hair, but he tightened the hold and Amorphous let hisarm fall.James: Get back in the ring already!John:  Amorphous lets go of Stone and rolls him in the ring. I think heheard you.James: It is about damn time.John: Stone grabs Amorphous and snap-mares him down then followed up with aleg drop to the fallen Amorphous and locked in a sleeper hold for goodmeasure. The ref checks on the hold to make sure it was legal then checkedon AmorphousJames: We could have a winner hereJohn: Stone holds the sleeper hold as tight as he can. But Amorphous reacheshis feet and pushes Stone back into the ropes. When Stone comes back at him,Amorphous clotheslines Stone to the ground.James: Stone quickly gets back to his feet only to be, knocked back down bya running lariat. Stone gets up again, but slowly. Amorphous tries his luckonce more with another clothesline but proves to be too much. Stone executesa drop toehold.John:  OH SHIT, that has to hurt!James: On his way down to the mat, Amorphous hits his face on the bottomturnbuckle. Knocking him out cold, Stone drags him to the center of the ringand goes for the three countsOneTwoThree{ Give me a break. I just woke up!  by the SHOOT Project Whatever Team blareover the pa speakers as Simon Stone exits the ring, leaving Amorphousbehind.}James: Ladies and Gentlemen, Amorphous is the smelly looser!John:  Oh, how exciting, Daniel Jones new attempts at ratings folks. Getused to it.CUT, TO:INT. BACKSTAGE FOOTAGE{The cameras cut backstage where you see Jeff Cross and Skull walking downthe hall towards the Conspirators locker room. They walk in. The room isdark, quiet, and a candle is, lit on a wooden table. Rancid approachesthem }Rancid: He has not said anything since his last promo.Skull: We need to talk to himRancid: That would not be very wise{Skull ignores Rancid completely and walks over to a dark corner, whereSebastian Crow sits quietly, motionless.}Skull: Sebastian, we need to talkJeff Cross: Look Sebastian, it has been fun running with you and theConspiratorsSkull: But it is bringing much too heat on us man.Jeff Cross: With Shoot coming back to the states, it is risky enough for usto stick around. But with all we have been doing as ConspiratorsSkull: We have been drawing too much heat from the cops. I have nearly, beenpicked up in every city for the past two weeks now. I could not even fly outof Idaho without cops trying to pick me up.Jeff Cross: We hate to have to do this, but we have no choice.Skull: But we are not turning our backs on you or Rancid.Jeff Cross: We will be like the fourth amigo. 'Or like Howling Mad Murdockfrom the A-team.Skull: Yeah we cannot run with you two anymore, but when you really need us,we will be there. Just cannot be apart of it since we bring so much heatinto the headlines.Jeff Cross: We do that enough on our own as it is.Skull: If you ever really need anything, you have my cell number.Jeff Cross: Who knows, maybe after a few weeks when things calm down we canrun with yaw again.{Sebastian stayed silent. His eyes did not move, his fingers did not twitchSkull and Jeff Cross looked at each other, then back at Rancid.}Rancid: Maybe you should leave{Skull nods his head in agreement.}Skull:  yeah, takes care Sebastian{Skull and Jeff exit. Zoom in on Sebastian s face.}Sebastian Crow:  maybe, just maybe,CUT, TO:RINGSIDE FOOTAGEFour-way Rookie MatchDanny Collins v. the Limey v. Diamond Del Carver v. Dark KrystalJohn: Fans let us prepare for our opening match!James: John, would this not be our second match?John: Oh yeah, prepare for our second match! Let us keep things moving. Wehave one hell of a night to prepare for.James: Right on,{ Mighty Mouse  from the Cartoon Network blares over the pa speakers asDanny Collins walks to the ring.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing first in our four-way rookiematch  DANNY COLLINS!James: Danny Collins has shown us some huge talent since his debutJohn: Has anybody seen the porn?{ Soap and Suds  by the SHOOT Project Shower-For-Sick-Twisted-Freaks blaresover the pa speakers as the Limey walks to the ring.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing second in our four-way rookiematch  the LIMEY!James: Whatever happened to the Limey?John: I do not know. But I think he might be perfect for our Smelly LoserChampionship.James: That is a good idea. Keep that in mind, John.John: Gee, thanks  (He blushes)  by the way, have you seen the porn?{ Diamonds are for ladies. Rubies are for men  by the SHOOT Project blaresover the pa speakers as Diamond Del Carver walks to the ring.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing third in our four-way rookiematch, DIAMOND DEL CARVER!James: Diamond Del Carver is a newbie to the SHOOT Project. This will be hisdebut match.John: Why, that is cool. Who cares! Where is the porn?{ Living Dead Girl  by Rob Zombie blares over the pa speakers as DarkKrystal walks to the ring.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing third in our four-way rookiematch, DARK KRYSTAL!James: Dark is another rookie the executive board seems fond of.John: Whoa, do I recall her being a playboy model for Jim Henson Productionsonce?{James looks at John odd.}John:  her name sounds rather familiar.James:  right. You are just stuck on porn tonight, are you not!John:  yes. Forgive me. OH, LOOK, THE NEW EDITION OF{James coughs, signaling for John to shush.}John:  oh right, on with the match. Damn, Miss Piggy is on the cover too**Ding, Ding, Ding**James: Okay, well, the bell has sounded and we are ready to go. Here is howthings will go, as it says on our pamphlets for this evening. *Clears histhroat*  the four-way rookie match will be based around four rookies ofSHOOT. Two will start out, while the rest wait behind a turnbuckle. They canparticipate when one of the two tags out, which means they can tag toanybody as long as they are in the match. Pretty much, this is like afour-way elimination match, tight.John: Yeah, that is tight. Let us get with things here. Del Carver andCollins start things off here. They circle the ring, now they tie up, andCarver whips Collins to the ropes. Collins comes back and goes for aclothesline, but Carver lifts Collins up, hitting him with a sidewalk slam.James: Del Carver goes for an early coverOneKick outJohn: Apparently Carver has never wrestledJames: I am sure he has if he knew that move! Del Carver brings Collins backto his feet and tags out, bringing in the Limey. The Limey jumps in andtakes control of Collins, hitting a chop across his chest, but Collinsreverses it and sends the Limey into a turnbuckle. Collins starts sendingcontinuous right punches to the face of the Limey! He follows it up with asnap-mare, followed by a kick to the back, and a falling elbow.John: Ah, he points to the audience and they go wild! What a cheap show-off!James: John, I would not be surprised if this man is, placed in a titlematch next Sunday. Daniel Jones, from my understanding, is signing everybodyto fight for vacant titles.John: That would be cool. Since we finally have this Triad shit over, with.We need some new excitement.James: I agree. Danny Collins scoops up the Limey and hits him with a powerslam, followed by a leg-drop to the throat  there is the coverOneTwoKick outJohn: What is it with these people tonight? Have they not learned ANYTHINGfrom wrestling school?James: Danny Collins tags out, bringing in DarkJohn: Oh great, Jim Henson Enterprises, play with my MUPPET will youJames:  John,John:  yes,James: Stop with the corny jokes, will you.John: But I thought they were funny!James: No, they are annoying. Stop it.John:  man, thanks for the gratitude.James: No problem , the Limey charges for Dark and swings with aclothesline, Dark ducks and the Limey swings again. She ducks again.John: How cute! It looks as if these two are square dancing.James: The Limey charges for Dark once more, Dark ducks, and she beginshitting the Limey with right punches to the face. She backs the Limeyagainst the ropesJohn:  where did she learn how to wrestle? *Shouts*  HEY, NO GIRLS ALLOWEDBIMBO!James:  the Limey comes back and  the KRYSTAL KUTTER!John: *Stoops down*  that looked pretty, niceOneTwoThree**Ding, Ding, Ding**Eliminated: The LimeyJames: Dark is our first actual skilled female wrestler in SHOOT. I see herfuture going far.John:  yes, I agree. Now Danny Collins is back in the ring and she sphere(s)him back down! There is a tag out. Now we bring in Diamond Del Carver.James: Diamond Del Carver brings Collins back to his feet. These two foughtat the beginning of the match-up. Collins pushes back Carver and hits himwith continuous blows to the face. Collins goes for an Irish whip, DelCarver reverses it, Collins reverses it, and he sends Carver into theturnbuckle with a hard clothesline to the throat. Now Collins is kicking thehell out of Carver s gut-area.John: A boot to the throat follows after. The referee starts the count; hetries to make Collins break the holdOneTwoThreeFourJames: He does. But Collins does not quit. He climbs the turnbuckle andstarts the ten-punch countOneTwoThreeFourFiveSixSevenEightNineTenJames: Collins steps down, he turns his back to Carver  one-split-second,and Collins is down with a POWERFUL clothesline from Carver! Carver goes forthe coverOneTwoKick outJohn: Ha, look at Dark, James. She is standing over there like a good girl.She is not expecting to get into any fights anytime soon.James:  oh, she will! Dark is not a complete  good girl  you know. She canbe seriously aggressive when it comes to competing in matches. Trust me; Ihave watched this girl work.John: IN A PORNO,James:  you know what I mean John.John: Yeah, yeah, I still think she belongs in the kitchen though. Fix usmen some dinner, BITCH!James:  you know she is going to watch this later.John:  damn. Speaking of which, she is also the special guest referee in ourmain event tonight!James: That will be a sight to see. In the ring, Collins reverses a standingsleeper-hold, he knees Carver hard in the back, and they go down to the matCollins goes for a sleeper-holdJohn:  oh, this is goodJames: Danny Collins has Del Carver locked in tight! He is putting him tosleep, now only if the referee can count a three-fall. Del Carver will be,eliminated from this match-up!OneJohn: The referee has one! James, did you see that? The referee has one!James: I saw that John.TwoJohn: The referee has two! James, did you see that? The referee has two!James: You are like a child; do you know that?John: Eh, I just like annoying you.James: I could tell that a long time ago! What else is new? There is a holdon the count for some reason  no, wait, the referee brings up Del Carver sarm and  HE KEPT IT UP! HE KEPT IT UP! Danny Carver  errs  Del Carver grabsa-hold of Danny Collins and hits him with a snap-mare!John: Danny Collins charges for Del Carver, Del ducks, and lifts Collins upfor a Vertical suplex  NO, HE SLAMS COLLINS HEAD TO THE MAT! There is acover!OneTwoThree**Ding, Ding, Ding**Eliminated: Danny CollinsJohn: Well there goes my prediction. Now it is just down to Del Carver and THE BIMBOLISTIC WHORE  DARK KRYSTAL  looks at that bitch, she trots intothe ring as if she is somethingJames: John, you appear to have a prejudice problem against female wrestlersin SHOOT. Are you gay?John: WHAT,James: It was just a question.John: *Growls*  shut up and let me call this match. Del Carver finally seeswhom he must face. Apparently, for a reason, Del has a problem with fightingher! *Shouts*  KNOCK HER TITS OFF, CARVER!James: I am giving Dark permission later to scrape your mouth with a steelspatula if you do not shut up!John:  fuck  fuck me like an animal  fuck me like an animalJames: Erg, how do I work under such PRESSURE?John:  come on everybody , let us do the doggy!James:  *Pause*John:  fuck me like an animalJames:  fucking idiot, on with the match folks, forgive him. I apologize forhis acknowledged handicapped attitude.John:  fuck me like an animal.James: Exactly my point let us get this match over, with. We have twocontestants left. Del Carver still refuses to fight with Dark. She temptshim, wondering why, why will you not fight a female Del!John:  why will you not fight SHOOT(s) backstage chef Carver?James: I find everybody to be equal here  until we find a women s divisionof course.John: Ha, there you go!James:  a punch to Del Carvers face, Dark wants this over with as much as wedo! She wants the match to continue, no matter what sex she is!John:  I do not think they have a sex for her. Oh, wait, yes they do. It is,called, TRANSEXUAL!James: John, shut the fuck up!John:  John, shut the fuck up. Fuck me.James: No, thank you, I will try my chances with Lassie.John: Great James, you just admitted to animal cruelty, no wonder that showdied. On with the match folks, leave the hairball-coughing freak begging.Dark continues to tempt Del Carver. Finally, she pushes him! And there wego, she pushed him too far and Del Carver hit her with a hard slap! SLAP HERDEL, SLAP THAT BITCH!James: You are sick John.John: Hey, if the price is right, my actions are right. Daniel Jones saysso.James:  he is sick.John: Cool. Now you agree. Dark and Carver go into a fighting frenzy in thecenter of the ring! They grab hold of one another, trying to take each otherdown, nothing works! They flip each other over the ropes and they land onthe concrete floor! Dark brings Carver back to his feet and Irish whips himto the steel steps! She charges and  WHOA MAMA, I WANT IN THIS MATCH NOW!James: Still that had to hurt.John: Trust me James, when a woman charges her groin into your face, it doesnot hurt!James: Oh, I see.John:  as if, you will ever know anything about that.James: I am happily married, you know!John: Whatever, Dark brings Del to his feet and slams his head into the ringpost! She continues it up, slamming his face into the guardrail; he reverseswith an uppercut chop to the throat. He grabs a-hold of her hair, simpletechnique, and hits a head-butt. She falls on her ass.James: Del brings Dark back to her feet and rolls her inside the ring. Hestands outside though  what is he, doing?John: He is standing there. No, wait a second, he lifts up the ring apronand pulls out a steel chair!James: Ah, he had to think about it for a second. WAIT A SECOND; HE PULLSOUT A STEEL CHAIR?John: Yeah, this is so cool.James: This is not cool! He cannot do this to a female! Allowing her towrestle her way through the match is okay but this  no, this is bad!John: Now who is the prejudice one?James: I am not prejudice! I am just afraid she will get hurt!John: Oh well, she should not have signed a contract with SHOOT if she wasnot expecting pain.James: Del Carver slides in the ring with the steel chair. Dark is back toher feet  Del Carver swings, WAIT A SECOND  DARK SLIDES TO HER KNEE ANDSTRIKES A LOW BLOW ON DEL!John:  oh no, this is not good!James: Dark is back on her feet, she drops the steel chair from Del(s)hands, and hits DDT! Dark goes for a coverOneTwoThe-Kick outJames:  OH MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE! Dark is back on her feet. She climbs theturnbuckle. She goes for a high-risk move, A FROGSPLASH COMING UP! AH, DELCARVER ROLLED OUT THE WAY!John:  YES!James: Del Carver swiftly brings Dark back to her feet, he sets her upbetween his legs, and he hits a HELLACIOUS PILEDRIVER!John:  now, THAT was a good move!James: Del Carver goes for the cover  this could be overOneTwoThe-Kick outJohn: NO, IT IS NOT, SUPPOSED BE LIKE THAT!James: Yes it is! Both contenders are hanging in there! These are the lasttwo left!John: Del grabs a-hold of Dark s hair and brings her to her feet. He backsher up into a turnbuckle  wait, NO!James: Dark kicks Del in the gut, thus releasing his hand from her hair. Shespins him around and climbs up the turnbuckle, she flips over him, and thereis an INSIDE CRADLE!OneTwoThe-Kick outJames:  SO CLOSE!John: Close nothing, Dark never had it coming. Del Carver and Dark are backto their feet now. Del goes for a clothesline, Dark ducks, and Del bouncesoff the ropes  and, WHAT THE!James:  DARK JUST HIT THE KRYSTAL CUTTER! Dark goes for the cover!OneTwoThree**Ding, Ding, Ding**{ Living Dead Girl  by Rob Zombie blares over the pa speakers as Darkattempts to gain back her breath, she stands up and is, declared thewinner.}James: An excellent show by these two, Dark Krystal comes out the winner.Congratulations dear girl, I knew you had it in you!John: *Banging his head on the desk*  DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT!{Dark Krystal climbs through the ropes and jumps from the apron. Her feethit the ground, almost ready to walk up the ramp-way until Markus Anderson,a SHOOT interviewer, approaches her with a microphone.}Markus Anderson: Dark, I congratulate you on your win tonight. You and threeother rookies went through one hell of an interesting match to complete thisthing. But I have to ask you; in the main-event tonight, how partial of areferee will you be tonight?Dark Krystal: As everyone should know, I want revenge on Skull. I am goingto look for any possible way to keep him away from the title.{Dark smiles, tosses back her hair, and continue walking up the ramp-way.}Markus Anderson: Well there we have it! James, John, it is back to you two!Casket of Fire MatchRoland the Dark v. Cronos DiamanteJames: Okay, the bell rings. Both men get to the center of the ring ratherintently and Roland starts out with a few punches in on Cronos. From thereRoland grabs Cronos, knees him in the midsection, and then knocks Diamanteout of the ring.John: As Cronos gets to his feet on the outside, Roland mocks Cronos, butCronos slides back into the ring, showing it did not take as much out of himas Roland had thought.James: Cronos right back up onto his feet and back in the ring.John: It looks like Roland did not expect Cronos back in so quickly.James: As Cronos a stand up to meet Roland yet again he is, hit with a fewpunches to the face, then Diamante is, taken down by a chop to the neck.Roland gets Cronos to his feet and then as he, goes for a vertical suplexCronos flips over at the height of the suplex and ends up standing behindRoland.John: Cronos spins Roland around and then kicks him, following it up with awell-placed head butt. Cronos picks up Roland to his feet and goes to sendhim into the ropes with an Irish whip but Roland reverses it, but as Cronoscomes, back he takes advantage of the fact that Roland is telegraphing aback body drop and Cronos takes Roland down with a swinging neck breaker.Roland telegraphing that back body drop and Cronos takes advantage of thesituation.James: Make the most of it Cronos!John: What is with this biased commentating here by James? I do not think heshould be, allowed here while Roland is wrestling anymore.James: Cronos starts in on Roland, who is still trying to get up, poundingon him for all he is worth. Roland shoves Cronos back a bit, getting himselfenough time to get to his feet. Cronos goes to send Roland into the ropesbut yet again... the Irish-whip is, reversed and on the return, Roland nailsCronos with a knee to the midsection, doubling Cronos over. From thereRoland takes Cronos down to the mat with a double ax handle.John: There ya go, get him Roland! Roland seems like maybe he is a bit toostrong for Cronos.James: I am not so sure about that but it seems like Roland is getting goodat reversing Irish whips here tonight.John: Roland starts to taunt the crowd a little bit and he does not realizethat Cronos gets up. Cronos grabs Roland from behind and takes him down witha belly to back suplex, which gets a huge pop from the fans as Roland faceis one of complete surprise as he realizes that Cronos had grabbed him toset up the move as he thought Diamante was still down on the mat.James: Roland wasting a bit too much time there and he paid the price forit.John: You just cannot turn your back on Cronos or he will make you pay forit.James: Cronos goes to pick up Roland but Roland hits him with a low blow,buying enough time to get to his feet. Roland gets up and proceeds to hitDiamante in the face, then follows that up with a nice slam down to the mat.John: Cronos rolls backwards, jumps up, runs over, and starts punching awayon Roland and then he picks him up and takes him down with a front slam. AsRoland lies on the mat, Cronos leaps up and lands down hard with awell-placed elbow drop.James: Nice execution on that elbow drop on Roland, He caught him right inthe chest!John: Roland will be back in this match in no time, just you watch.James: Cronos starts playing up to the fans and Roland is able slowly to getto his feet. Cronos then grabs Roland by the hand and goes to whip him intothe ropes but yet again, the Irish-whip is, reversed, and on the returnDiamante is hit by Roland with an inverted atomic drop. Roland grabs Cronosby the neck as he stands there stunned and hits a falling reverse neckbreaker. Roland then signals for his finisher and picks up Cronos. As hegoes for the Pillar of Darkness, Cronos reverses it and he starts hittingRoland.John: Diamante's punches send Roland reeling, and then as Roland runs backover towards Cronos he is, taken down with a hip toss. Diamante sends Rolandinto the ropes yet again and then takes Roland down with another hip toss.James: Cronos is doing well, taking down Roland left and right!John:  WAIT A SECOND, SEBASTIAN CROW FROM THE APRON! HE WRAPS BARBWIREAROUND CRONOS S THROAT, DRAGGING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!James:  SEBASTIAN HAS HIM IN THE CASKET! SEBASTIAN HAS CRONOS DIAMANTE INTHE CASKET; HE SHUTS THE LID{Sebastian Crow glares up at Roland the Dark and nods his head.}Beep. Beep. Beep.James: Wait a second, a truck starts backing up inside the building  it isRancid, Randy  they grab a-hold of the casket, and they load it on the backRandy and Rancid get back in the drivers seat and they drive off!John: Where are they going? Where are they going with Diamante?James: I do not know. Roland the Dark, he has won this match and  well, itappears Roland is going with Sebastian! Has Roland joined the Conspirators?Oh well, we will keep you informed of this  let us go to Arkansas!Barnyard BrawlJoking John Jinx v. Ben  The Blackout  JackmanJames:  Well here we go!  The moment we have all been waiting forJohn: THE BARNYARD BRAWL, I smell Flair-Steamboat, Hart-Michaels. TheszJames: Just stop.  Okay, let us go to Arkansas.John: Wait.James: Hold on folks, Daniel Jones has just added a stipulation.  To beginthe match Jinx and Jackman will be, locked in a barn.John: But falls count anywhere, so if they break out of the barn, anythinggoes.James: Okay, now let us head to Arkansas.{The barn is fairly, well lit.  It has a hayloft, which looks over the firstfloor, with a ladder leading up to it.  One side of the barn is, lined withstalls, which are, filled with cows.  On the other side is a huge pile ofhay, which is beneath the hayloft.  The two combatants walk into the barn,along with a referee.  Another referee closes the door.}John: The door is getting padlocked shut.  I doubt if they will be able toget out of this barn.James: But you never know.  Jinx is laughing and he walks over to a cow.John: Why is he taunting the cow?James: Oh, Jackman charges over and hits him with a forearm to the back.  Hestarts laying kicks down.John: He is taking his anger out on poor Joking John!James: Jackman picks Jinx up and goes for DDT, but Jinx punches out of itand, OW!John: *laughing* He just bitch-slapped him!James: Jackman blocks a punch and nails Jinx with one of his own.  Anotherpunch to the face, Jinx is propped up against the door to the cow s stall.Jackman takes a step back.  Running elbow, Jinx bends over and flips Jackmaninto the cow s stall  good Lord!John:  Jackman is furious, as is the cow.  The cow is mooing loudly.James:  Jackman just punched the cow in the snout.John:  The cow is out for the count!  Jackman winJames: He is not fighting the cow.  Jinx is looking around for something.He finds a cattle prod.  This could get ugly.  Jackman climbs out of the cowstall.  Jinx advances on him and tries to shock him but Jackman grabs theprod and nails Jinx over the head with it.John: This is just like Flair-Steamboat!{Jackman picks up the prod.}James:  He just shocked Jinx.  Jinx is twitching on the ground.  This shouldbe it!  He goes for the cover.OneTwoJames: Good God, that stuttering hick just came out of nowhere', he nailedJackman in the back of the head with a shovel.  Jackman is down!John:  He was in the hay pile; I can see the hay all over him.  The refereehas no idea what to do, and he yells at the hick.James:  Jinx is getting to his feet, and he smiles at the hick.Joking John Jinx: Welcome my friend GRENDEL the GEEK!  Show me your work.John: A geek,James:  This GRENDEL character is pulling something out of a satchel that hehas.  A chicken, what does him ?John: Oh god, this is going to get disgusting.James:  What do you oh sweet Jesus, GRENDEL just bit the head off thechicken.  OhJohn:  Folks, James just ran off, I think he is getting sick.  GRENDEL(s)grinning with blood coming out of his mouth, and he sits down cross-legged.Jinx thinks this is just the funniest thing ever.  Jinx is pulling somethingout of his tights.  It s some sort of tube it is a sawed of green gardenhose.  This person is insane; he has been calling that the  Irish Whiparound the locker-room.{Jinx starts whipping Jackman.}John:  James should be back in a couple minutes  folks, but right now Jinxis getting ruthless with the Irish Whip.  He stops to do a cartwheel.Jackman gets up.  Jinx turns to him and his smile fades.  Jackman kicks himin the gut and DDT(s) him into the floor.  GRENDEL jumps up but he is, metwith a standing sidekick to the face.James: I think GRENDEL(s) done.  Jackman turns his attention back to Jinx.He picks the fallen body up and suplexes him.  He picks up the Irish Whipand starts choking Jinx with it.  He lets go and spits on Jinx.  This hasturned into a very one-sided affair here.John: Jackman looks around and sees the hayloft.  He starts climbing theladder.  He gets halfway up, and Jinx is getting up now.  How can he stillfunction?  Oh yes, he is a psychopath.  Jinx runs over and climbs up theladder.  Jackman sees him and kicks him in the face.  Jinx collapses to thefloor.James: Jackman turns around on the ladder, and jumps off.  He hits a legdrop.  Jinx is done!  But wait, Jackman seems to have hurt himself, in theprocess. The floor is hard there.  They are both down.  And look who it is.John:  Sorry about that folks, I ate burritos this evening.  Okay, well bothmen are down!  Why, I do not know, but both men are down.James: Jackman gets up and he motions for the Blackout Bomb, but I do notknow how he will do it, there are no ropes here.John: Jackman is wondering that very same thing.James: He picks up Jinx, and he is throwing him into the wall.John: He wants to bounce him off it.James: But Jinx goes right through the wall!  He crashed through it.John: And look at Jackman s reaction.James:  I do not think I have ever seen him so mad.  He s just flipping out.  He hates this match to no end.  He is walking out the hole now, and Jinxjust nailed him!  A kick to the mouth and Jackman is down.  There is abaseball slide to the face.John: That looked viscous.James: Jinx is up and walking around like a chicken some reason.John: *laughing*  maybe he is summoning GRENDEL.James: God help us, if he is.  Jackman is slowly getting to his feet,dropkick from Jinx, he follows that with a headlock, then a bulldog, and ohmy god, is thatJohn: He just bulldogged him into a small pile of manure!James: Jackman is up and running around, he is clawing at his face.  Hefinds a water trough in a pigpen climbs in and douses his head with thewater.John: What a shit head,James: Jinx loves every second of this.  Jackman is still spitting andtrying to get the manure out.  Jinx runs, jumps on the fence, and hits ahurricarana!  Beautiful offensive maneuver there, Jinx stands up in thepigpen and stretches his arms out.Jinx:  Pigs, I command thee.  Devour this lowly swine!John:  For Christ s sake,James:  Needless to say, the pigs are just lying there, ignoring Joking JohnJinx.  Jinx, disappointed, walks over to Jackman.  Jackman grabs his tightsand throws him over the fence.  Jackman jumps on the fence, and then goesfor a leg drop, but Jinx moves out of the way.  They both get back up.  Apunch back and forth, Jackman is on the offensive. He is forcing Jinxtowards a small shed-like building.John: I think it is a chicken house.James: Three straight punches from Jackman, and he loads up for a bigroundhouse, put Jinx ducks.  The momentum carries him against the chickenhouse.  Jinx dropkicks him in the back, and Jackman goes headfirst throughthe wall.John:  And the chickens are going batty in there.  Listen to that clucking!James: Jinx pulls Jackman out and goes for the pin.OneVoice of camera: What, the hell are you doing to my farm?TwoJohn:  Jinx is getting off.  He had the match won!James: I think the owner of the farm is here.  Yes, look at him he is nonetoo happy.John: None too young either, he look likes he s a hundred and six.James:  The farmer has a pitchfork, and the referee goes over to talk to thefarmer.  What is Jinx doing?John: It looks like he s chasing the goats around.  He should be workingJackman over, waiting for the ref to be, done with the farmer.James: Which seems to be now, the farmer is stalking away, but the refereehas a very concerned look on his face.  Jackman is slowly getting to hisfeet.  His face is bleeding profusely.  Jinx sees him getting up andregrettably leaves the goats.  Jackman tries to kick him in the stomach, butJinx catches it ENZIGURI!John:  What impact!  Owen Hart would be proud.James: Jinx went down hard after that. Wait a second, what is Blackmandoing? He is walking away!  It seems like he wants to go back to the barn.John: The match was well in hand for him while they were still in there.  Itmight be a good move.James:  Jinx is getting up, and begins following Jackman.  Jackman goesthrough the hole in the wall and back into the barn.  Jinx grabs a shovel,and walks through the hole, but Jackman hits a drop toehold just as he getsback into the barn and Jinx s head slams against the shovel.  Jackman roarswith fury, and kicks Jinx hard in the stomach.John: GRENDEL(s) back up!James: GRENDEL charges over, but Jackman steps out of the way and grabs him.  He hits a running power bomb!  That MUST have killed him.John: Wow, It looks almost like GRENDEL is, snapped in half.James:  Wait, Jinx is back up.  Blood is streaming down his face and he isclimbing up the ladder, to the hayloft.  Jackman taunts the fallen GRENDELand sees Jinx.  He smiles and walks over to the ladder.  He begins climbingit.  Jinx is in the hayloft.  He does a cartwheel.  Jackman gets up, andimmediately Jinx charges, Jackman avoids it.  He punches Jinx, and then hitsa belly-to-belly suplex.  Jinx is done.  Jackman stands over him.  A darksmile crosses his face.  He picks Jinx up and puts him in power bombposition. But Jinx flips him over!  Jackman just went over the edge to thefloor below!John: He landed on the hay pile though.  That cushioned his blow.James: Jinx, looks down on Jackman and smiles, He takes a couple steps backand runs, does a cartwheel, and goes for a moon Sault!John: Jackman moved!  Jinx goes face first into the hay!  Ouch.James: Jackman stands up, he throws Jinx off the hay pile, and he rolls tothe floor.  Jackman walks down and stands over the fallen Joking John Jinx.He motions for the Blackout Bomb.John: Is this DÈjÞ vu?James: Jackman decides not to do the full Blackout Bomb; instead, he hits avariation, a sit-down Orange Crush.  This must be it.OneTwoThreeJohn:  Quite the match,James: The referee lifts Jackman s arms and-- what the hell.John: Someone is trying to burst the barn door down!James: The referee is running out the hole in the wall, and Jackman is juststaring at the door.  It bursts open!John: It is a mob!James: It is like Frankenstein here!  Farmers with torches and pitchforksare angrily yelling at Jackman.  That old farmer leads the mob from earlier,and they are charging into the barn.  Jackman books it out of there, runningthrough the hole in the wall.{The picture turns into static, and the shot cuts to the announcers.  Thecrowd is buzzing.  John and James each exhale and look into the camera.}John: I guess Daniel Jones never got permission to use the farm.:-Backstage Footage-:{Daniel Jones watches the television monitor as the match happens.}Daniel Jones:  uh, oops,:-Exit Backstage Footage-:{We fade back to Arkansas.}James: Well folks, we will try to give you updates on Joking John Jinx, Ben The Blackout  Jackman, and the referees involved in Arkansas.  If we cannotget any information during the show, we will be sure to update you onOblivion next week.John: I think I speak for all of us, when I say Godspeed.  Mob justice is aviolent, yet beautiful thing in its own way.Extreme Limits Match for the Tag Team ChampionshipThe Flying Dutchman/the Fist v.  The Prodigy Son  Jeff Cross/SkullJames: Fans , how extreme can we get?John:  limit wise, you mean.James: Up next is our Extreme Limits Match for the Tag Team Championshipthus pitting  The Prodigy Son  Jeff Cross, Skull, against the two debutrookies  the Flying Dutchman and the Fist.{ Too Cool for School!  by the SHOOT Project blares over the pa speakers asThe Dutchman has a microphone in his hand; Dutch spins on one foot in aquick circle as The Fist lifts a sledgehammer in the air and swings it overhis head.  The two pause and give each other a quick look that says, "We'reready for this."  They nod at each other and walk down the ramp as the crowdcheers for the new comers to The Shoot Project.}{Dutch slides into the ring as The Fist places the sledgehammer underneathit as though it belonged there all along.  Fist climbs up into the ring andraises his fists into the air as The Dutchman flexes on the turnbuckle. Oncethe Dutch is, done fooling around, he raises his hand to silence the crowd.As he addresses the champions, The Fist slowly paces in circles around themlike a caged tiger.}Dutch: Cut our music  I am sure you all are wondering just who the, hell weare, why the two of us are standing here in the middle of this ring tochallenge a couple fucks for those Tag Team titles.  Well, let me tell yousomething. We are here to make a name for ourselves.  We are here to make animpact{The Fist slams his fist into his palm.}Dutch (CONT D):  we are here to leave as champions  now; we intend to takethose belts from them tonight.  They do not have a choice in the mattereither, because we are going to win  anyway we can.  We will be the Tag Teamchampions.  Why, simply because we are better than they are.  AND because weare, better than this piss hole of a federation. Once we win that gold  atleast, I *think* that is gold  it could be brass for all I know. Especiallyconsidering how this place is.  Once we win those titles, we will be well onour way to being, noticed by those more prestigious federations.  So,frankly, do not worry.  We will not be a thorn in their side for long.  Wewill win those belts  are noticed  and move along to better things.  Then,they can have their little titles back and continue their competition withthe rest of these no talent hacks.{Dutch pauses to glance at the booing crowd as the Fist stops pacing andstands next to him.}Dutch: As far as introductions go  you can call me "The Flying Dutchman.{Dutch gestures towards The Fist }Dutch:  This is my partner and bodyguard, The Fist.  *Your* names do notmatter to us, seeing as we are only going to be a here a short while.  Weare The Madmen  and we are better than this place.Dutch hands the microphone over to "The Fist".Fist:  I hope you liked those beltsRing Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing first in our tag teamchampionship war, introducing a couple rookies to the SHOOT Project andbecause I do not know their stat information, I will make this quick  theyare the challengers for the tag team titles  the FLYING DUTCHMAN AND THEFIST!{ Break Yaw Neck  by BUSTA RHYMES blares over the pa speakers as  TheProdigy Son  Jeff Cross walks out on-stage }John: Hey, he looks familiar.James: Of course, he was, once known as Mister Crowe.{The song swiftly changes into  Mastermind  by MEGADETH as Skull walks outon-stage, they side-by-side with the Tag Team Titles draped over theirshoulders, smile, and run to the ring  thanks to their hurries, Samanthacannot announce their introductions.}**Ding, Ding, Ding**John: Shit, these men are not wasting any time! The Flying Dutchman and theFist slide out of the ring and they collide with Skull and Jeff Cross,throwing lefts and rights toward one anotherJames:  I keep wanting to say Crowe when I think of Cross.John: I know what you mean. Cross and Dutchman going at it, Cross walksDutchman to the steel guardrail and lets him have it! He follows it up withan uppercut to the jaw, an elbow to the gut, and a back fist to the face.James:  Everybody was kung-fu fighting.John:  Damn Jackie Chan movies, Cross-and Skull are two movie buffs.James:  no, Skull is the movie buff  Cross is the baseball/Internet monkey.John: Oh, okay.James: Yeah, I know my facts. Skull walks Fist around the ladder and ramshis face into the ring! He follows it by putting Fist s head under his armand running him across the ring apron, straight into the ring-post! Ouch,that smarts!John: Now Cross-rolls the Flying Dutchman in the ring, he lifts up the ringapron and pulls out a steel chair, our FIRST steel chair in the contestJames: He slides in the ring too. He goes for a chair shot but wait, theFlying Dutchman leaps to his feet and takes care of Cross with an awesomedrop-kick! It cracked the chair across Cross s face.John: The Flying Dutchman runs, bounces off the ropes  Cross-catches himbefore anything happensJames: It looked as if the Flying Dutchman was going for a leap over theropes onto Skull. That plan backfired. Jeff Cross brings Dutchman back tohis feet. He has a-hold of his hair but wait, the Dutchman just nailed JeffCross with a HUGE low blow from the back leg!John:  ouch,James: Yeah, ouch,John: The Flying Dutchman grabs a-hold of Jeff Cross and runs him across thering, jumps on the top-rope, and flips over Jeff. Wow, that is great speed!Jeff Cross charges for the Flying Dutchman with a clothesline but the FlyingDutchman catches Jeff Cross and scores with a power slam.James:  nice, that is very nice. The Flying Dutchman scores with a leg-dropto the throat! In comes Skull**CRACK**John: Ha, yes, Skull cracks a steel chair over the Flying Dutchman s head. Ilove it.James: Skull helps Jeff Cross back to his feet. They double-team the FlyingDutchman. They whip him to the ropes and hit a double clothesline, followedby double elbows to the chest.John: This is great! Skull and Jeff Cross grab a-hold of the Flying Dutchmanand tie him up in the ropes! Now Jeff Cross is sending continuous kicks tothe gut but here comes the Fist, and he knocks Skull down WITH a huge fist!James: Jeff Cross notices and goes forward to the Fist. The Fist startsthrowing shots to Jeff Crosses face, backing him in the corner. The Fistclimbs the turnbuckle nowOneTwoThreeFourFiveSixSevenEightNineTenJames:  The Fist turns around andJohn: YES, Skull is back in the ring with the ladder! He sends the ladderinto the gut of the Fist. Now he rams it into the Fist, forcing him into thecorner Jeff Cross is in!James: What, the hell,John: Jeff Cross tries to catch breath from the impact. Skull grabs a-holdof the Fist now and  he delivers a Skull Bomb! How, the hell did he do that?James: Damn, wrestling is, fucked up.John: He delivered a Skull Bomb to the Fist on the ladder. Jeff Cross, heflies off the turnbuckle now and lands on the Fist with a frog splash.James: Jesus, these men will do anything!John: Do you think they will whack off?James: WHAT,John:  nothing, *Embarrassed*James: I am still wondering how this 7-footer Skull bombed another 7-footerJohn: Does it matter?James:  no,John: Then shut up and watch the damn match.James: Eh, yeah, that sounds like a plan. Okay, the Dutchman has anothersteel chair and he slides in the ring. All four men are in the ring and whatis this  referees are wrapping barbwire around the ropes!John: I guess they forgot to do that earlier!James: Skull brings the Fist back to his feet and Irish whips him to theturnbuckle, followed by a clothesline. Skull sends a hard chop to the Fist schest. In the meantime, the Flying Dutchman hits a steel chair over Jeff sback, and sets him up. The Flying Dutchman looks to be going for a piledriver, no, Jeff Cross hits a back body drop! Jeff Cross bounces off theropes and hits a hard, hitting sphere, knocking the Dutchman off his feet!Now Jeff Cross is slamming rights and lefts to the face of Dutchman. Thereis a reversal though! The Dutchman is hammering at Jeff Crosses face.John: Skull sets the Fist up for an Irish whip; the Fist reverses, and sendsSkull crashing in the turnbuckle! Skull walks out; the Fist lifts Skullabove his head  GORILLA PRESS SLAM, he tosses him onto the ladder!James:  oh my,John: James, you are such a gay homophobe.James: What,John: I know you are gay manJames: Excuse me!John:  you are just too afraid to admit itJames: Can we concentrate on the match please?John: What is the matter  you are dying for the cock, are you not!James: You are an annoying little queer , do you know that?John: Ha-ha.James: Let us concentrate back on the match! The Fist is setting up theladder now. The champions are down and the Dutchman starts to climbJohn: How embarrassing it would be if Jeff and Skull lost to a couple ofrookie losers!James: The Fist is paying attention to his partner  he does not see JeffCross, Jeff reaches up, he folds up the ladder  THE FIST AND FLYING DUTCHMANREALIZE THIS ANDJohn: HOLY SHIT, THE DUTCH HAD BETTER HANG ON! Skull has control of theladder now. Skull holds it above his head  the Flying Dutchman is, stillattached and Skull, Skull tosses the ladder to the outside!James: The ladder tips over and the Flying Dutchman goes through the steelguardrail, the ladder landing on top!John: Ha, that was powerful! Skull and the Fist go at it now. Jeff Crossexits the ring and pulls up the apron. He pulls out a TABLE! IT IS ABOUTTIME!James: Jeff pushes in a table  the Flying Dutchman is still down and out ofit! Skull and the Fist are fighting it out! Jeff Cross sets up the table,now he joins in on the fight with Skull. They bounce the Fist off the ropesthe Fist charges for the table, he stops himself, and I do have no clue thattheir motive was butJohn: YIKES, JEFF CROSS JUST BACKFLIPPED HIMSELF OFF THE ROPES ONTO THEFIST! THE FIST GOES THROUGH THE TABLE!James: That was a sweet set-up!John: Now Skull has the ladder set-up and Jeff Cross goes for the titlesAH, WAIT A SECOND, THE DUTCHMAN JUST SENT A DROP KICK TO THE LADDER! ITFALLS OVER AND, JEFF CROSS, JEFF CROSS LANDS TO THE OUTSIDE!James: Where did the Dutchman come from?John: I do not know. It must have been a quick recovery. Now it is down tothe Dutchman and Skull. Skull sets up the ladder again  he starts climbingthe Dutchman starts to climb on the other end!James: One of these two men will gain control of the SHOOT Project Tag TeamTitles! They at the top now  they are exchanging lefts and rights  both mentrying to balance themselves on the ladder, who will it, are. Who will bethe SHOOT Tag Team Champions?John:  WHOA, SKULL, SKULL LIFTS THE DUTCHMAN UP WITH A VERTCIAL SUPLEX ANDTOSSES HIM BACK TO THE MAT!James:  Jesus Christ, Skull has a shot now  the ladder is tilting back andfourthJohn:  he reaches for the gold  HE HAS IT!**Ding, Ding, Ding**James:  SHIT, THE LADDER FALLS, AND SKULL FALLS THE OTHER WAY**CRACK**James: SKULL IS HOLLERING IN PAIN!John: Shit James, did you hear that?James: This is not good. Something happened, somewhere in Skull s body, abone cracked. It echoed through the entire audience!John:  my God, we need paramedics  and a janitor.James: Skull and Jeff Cross are still the SHOOT Project Tag Team Champions.As we get this mess cleaned up, we will move onto our next match  theBirdcage Match.John:  oh, that match is going to be tight!**ADVERTISEMENT FOR SPIDER-MAN   MAY 3RD**Birdcage Match to the #1 Contender ship to the SHOOT TitleChris Lee v. Sebastian Crow{A gigantic oval-shaped birdcage surrounds the ring. The top is, closed offby a door, likely holding the birds for the ending , the lights areflickering on and off throughout the arena as  The Strong  by FLAW blareover the pa speakers.}John: This match is going to be tight! Never in the history of wrestlinghave I seen something like this, James!James: Who would of funk it! Go over the rules again John, they are funny.John: Ha, okay, here are the rules: Sebastian Crow and Chris Lee will battlein the Birdcage, right. They will be fighting for a shot at the SHOOT Title.Cool, yes, but here is the funny thing. It appears scientists havediscovered a new breed of the  new  York pigeons mutated several years intothe future called, Rabid Shit Pigeons. This breed of bird is rabid in manyways and attack to kill. On a second note, they have an exceedingshit-problem that once only occurred if they got scaredJames:  So what happened?John: In the day, this new breed of bird was, considered Adam and Eve butcalled Pecker and Breed. Well, one of the birds shit him-self so much duringsex; it was his first time that he could not quit. Pecker impregnated Breedand they were then, called  Rabid Shit Pigeons . They are excessively angry.This explains the pecker.James: Jesus, okay, let us get this match over with! Once Sebastian or Chrisclimbs the ladder to success, the birds will be, released. I hope they canget out ALIVE!John: Yeah, even on Sebastian Crow s behalf. I know how much you dislikehim.James:  oh God, do not remind me!{ Fuel my Fire  by Prodigy blares over the pa speakers as Chris Lee walks tothe ring, trying to keep focus on his match tonight, staring at the giganticbirdcage that rests over the ring.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing first, he is a FORMER Rising Starand Rule of Surrender Champion, self-proclaimed the legend of the Triad  heweighs in at 251 pounds, at a height of 6 4  CHRIS LEE!{The fans literally go nuts at the sound of Chris Lee s name being, called.They give him the respect he deserves.}James: Chris Lee, fans, will be competing against Sebastian Crow tonight!This match could get interestingJohn:  especially the rabid shit birds, that is tight! One question, how didDaniel Jones get hold of a new breed of birds before they were, discovered?James: Who knows, this is wrestling. People are not supposed to figure outthat stuff. They just sit back and say,  OOH  and  AHH!John: Oh, that explains Jason s comeback  JASON X, IN THEATERS NOW PEOPLE! Evil NEEDS an upgrade!James: Ha, that is terrible.  So where the fuck is Sebastian Crow?John: I do not know. It looks as if Chris Lee is getting tired of waitingtoo. If he paces the ring long enough, he could invent a wrestling orgasm.James: Ha, I think that has all ready been, done before, JohnJohn: Damn it, I was not involved!James: I am afraid notJohn:  well, suffering bird-shit James! This is terrible news! Wait asecond, uh; Chris Lee has the microphone!Chris Lee: Sebastian, I cannot wait all night. Get your dick-pecking ass outhere right now and let us settle this!{All the sudden, a round cloud of smoke appears behind Chris Lee.}James: Wait a minute  what, the hell is that?John: Chris Lee turns around and  IT IS A BLACK PANTHER, A BLACK PANTHERJUST LEAPED OUT OF THE SMOKE AT LEE  holy shit!James: That panther is gnawing at Chris Lee s body! He is trying to chewright through him! He is clawing at his face, marks are being, left, andthis is horrible!{A loud echoing laugh goes through the atmosphere.}John: Wait a minute, what was that?James: I do not know! Somebody was laughing through the arena. The smoke inthe ring is getting bigger! It is surrounding the ring like a huge festivalparade float!John: In the meantime, we can still hear the growls from that panther James!It must be tearing Lee to shreds!James: Oh, let us hope not  the smoke clears from the ring and standing init, it is a figure  GOD, we could have imagined! It is Sebastian Crow, he isstanding there  look at that sadistic look on his face!John:  he has lost it, James. This man has literally lost it!James: The panther releases Chris Lee. Chris Lee sees Sebastian, he chargesfor him, and Sebastian  he pulls out a rag and he holds it against Lee smouth! NO, GOD NO, THIS IS  THIS IS SICK!John:  Sebastian and his panther are not only manhandling Chris Lee, but heis also being embarrassedFans: LEE, LEE, LEE, LEE, LEE, LEE,James:  the fans are literally behind Chris Lee! Come on Lee, you have tofight through this!John: WHAT, OKAY, I DID NOT EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN  CHRIS LEE JUST SENT ABACK ELBOW INTO THE GUT OF SEBASTIAN! Now Chris hits a snap-mare takedown.He charges up and kicks the shit out of Sebastian s back! Now Chris has therag, he grabs a-hold of Sebastian in a sleeper hold and  now, the chainreaction starts**Ding, Ding, Ding**James: Oh, now the bell sounds!John: Sebastian fights his way up though! Chris Lee is hanging on, trying tokeep that rag on Sebastian Crow s mouthJames: No luck, Sebastian went flying back and Chris Lee landed on thebottom! He had to release. Sebastian stands up, he brings Chris Lee to hisfeet, and Irish whips him to the ropes. Sebastian goes for a clothesline,Lee ducks, and Lee hits Sebastian with a spinning heel kick.John: Chris Lee charges for Sebastian, Sebastian gets a boot up though andkicks Lee back. Lee goes flying back against the ropes! Sebastian stands upand grabs a-hold of Lee, sending shots to his back.James: Sebastian Irish whips Chris from the ropes into the turnbuckle. Chriswalks out from the turnbuckle and Sebastian collides with a powerhouseclothesline! Jesus, that nearly took Chris Lee s head, off!John: Now, Sebastian is checking out the slip of paper hanging above. Iwonder if Sebastian knows about the Rabid Shit PigeonsJames: I do not know, John. Why, how about you go tell him?John:  yeah, maybe I should go tell him  HEY! I AM NOT ANY FEATHER BRAIN SSHIT-HOLE! DO YOU HAVE THAT?James:  yeah, whatever John, it was a lousy attempt to get you away from mea little early. Too bad it did not work.John:  asshole; Sebastian Crow brings Chris Lee to his knees and Chris Leehits a low blow! Oh no, this is not good! Chris Lee tosses Sebastian intothe corner and starts pounding away  no, this is SERIOUSLY not good!James: Now he climbs the turnbuckle. He is going for the ten-punch count!OneTwoThreeJames:  DAMN! He did not succeed. Sebastian just pushed Chris Lee to themat. Now Sebastian stands on the turnbuckle, Lee is up; Sebastian flies off,and strikes Lee with a flying clothesline!John: Now, Sebastian goes to the outside. He lifts up the ring apron andpulls out a ladder. He pushes it in the ring, followed by a wrapping ofbarbwire{Sebastian Crow smiles at the barbwire.}James:  weirdo,John: Chris Lee is back on his feet  Sebastian wraps the barbwire around hishand and there! Sebastian just knocked the SHIT out of Chris Lee! He liftsup Chris s head and starts pounding the barbwire in.James: Ouch, Jesus Christ, this man is insane.John: Ha, girls like insane JamesJames: *Curious*  they do?John:  yes *Strong Pause*  they do.James: Oh, uh, wait, I am married right.John: Yes you are.James: Damn those scriptwriters,John: Back to the match, as if we are paying attention, Sebastian runs Chrisacross the ring and tosses his head into the turnbuckle! Wait, Chriscounters though and sends a head-butt to Sebastian! Sebastian steps backfrom the impact and Chris charges, taking Sebastian off his feet with aclothesline!James: Chris brings Sebastian back to his feet. He sends a hard punch to hisface, followed by another, this backing Sebastian against the ropes.Sebastian charges for Chris, fighting back, he goes for a shot, Chrisblocks, and hits Sebastian with a back-to-belly SUPLEX! Now Chris Lee goesdown for a sleeper hold, there is NO referee  Lee is just going to try tokill Sebastian off hereJohn: Is that not the general idea?James: It looks as if Lee is keeping it there this time! No, wait, Sebastianis fighting his way back up again  he fights out, he grabs a-hold of Lee,and levels him with a perfect bulldog!John:  back to his feet, he slams down with an elbow to the chest.James: Sebastian is back to his feet and he goes for the ladder. He standsit up. No, wait a second, Lee is back to his feet, and he grabs a-hold ofSebastian, and hits an outstanding belly-to-belly SUPLEX!John: Now, Chris Lee is kicking the hell out of Sebastian! Sebastian catcheshis foot and flips him over. Sebastian climbs over Lee and sends numerousshots to the face. Wait a second, Chris Lee with a monkey flip! That is someawesome potential! I do hand him that.James: Lee and Sebastian are back up! Sebastian charges for Lee and Leesends Sebastian up and over the ropes! Sebastian lands on the concretefloor  CHRIS LEE, CHRIS LEE FLIES OVER AND PUTS SEBASTIAN DOWN! Chris justslammed Sebastian into that steel birdcage!John: No, this is not good! Chris Lee has hold of Sebastian now and he slamshis face into the birdcage, pressing it in. Sebastian Crow is growling inpainJames: Chris Lee Irish whips Sebastian and sends him into the steel steps!John:  ouch,James: Chris Lee charges for Sebastian, Sebastian moves out of the way, andChris hits his knee against the steel steps! Now, Sebastian is back up. Hehits an uppercut on Lee. It is not over though  Sebastian, with the steelsteps  DAMN, he just rammed those steel steps into Chris Lee s face!John: Yes, now this is getting good! Lee stumbles back a bit from theimpact  Sebastian, OUCH, HE TOSSES THE STEEL STEPS INTO CHRIS LEE! Chris Leefalls back! Now, Sebastian pulls up the apron. He goes searching for a  a  asteel chair! He grabs the steel chair now  the steel steps are still lyingacross Lee and**CRACK**James: Ouch, Sebastian just bashed the steel chair over the steel steps  Leefeels the impact underneathJohn: Sebastian tosses the steel chair into the ring  he flips the steps offLee and sets him up on the outside  what is it going to be  a PILE DRIVER!James: That is it! Chris Lee has to be out of it!John: I agree. I do not know how much longer Lee can last tonight. You donot want to fight a nearly 7 2 machine. On second thought, you do not wantto fight a nearly 7 2 angry demonic machine!James: I quite agree but tonight, Lee is taking that chance! He is takingthat risk! Chris Lee is moving on the outside now. As Chris starts to standup, Sebastian charges at Chris with a boot to the face, but Chris catchesthe shot and trips Sebastian with a leg of his own!John: Lee brings Sebastian back to his feet and locks his head; he startspounding Sebastian s head against the ring apron, what, the fuckJames: That is what I call wrestling!John: I call that pig style wrestling  YEE HAW! That is slang for,  I smelllike shit.James: Ha, a funny thing to say especially when we are in Atlanta  thank Godit is not Arkansas.John:  oh God, do not remind me Arkansas! Enough is enough for one night!James: Lee rolls Sebastian in the ring. He reaches under the ring and grabsa  a trash can. He slides in the ring. Sebastian is back to his feet and Leegoes for a trash can shot, Sebastian blocks it, and now, they are fightingover the trashcan! That trashcan is, held in the air by both competitors;they are fighting over it!John: Sebastian shoves it in Lee s face  Lee shoves it in Sebastian s faceSebastian shoves it back  Lee shoves it back  FINALLY, SEBASTIAN JUST TAKESA STEEL CHAIR AND SHOVES IT IN!James: Sebastian kicks the trashcan aside and turns the steel chairsideways. He rams it into Lee s mouth  again  again  Jesus Christ, he takesit and**CRACK**James:  he smashes it over Chris Lee s face.John: Chris Lee must be out of it by now! Sebastian grabs the ladder againand stands it up. Sebastian starts climbingJames:  Chris Lee is almost back to his feet!John: Sebastian Crow is climbing the ladder! And Chris Lee, he climbs upafter him and, A REVERSE SUPLEX FROM THE LADDER!James: Ouch, I think that took out both men! Do you realize how high thatslip of paper is?John:  pretty, damn far.James:  exactly, both men are down. They are not moving!John: Chris Lee is crawling his way across the ring though. He rolls out ofthe ring and falls to the ground. Meanwhile, Sebastian is still out of it!James: At least one of our competitors is slightly up and runningJohn:  why does it HAVE to be Chris Lee?James: If it makes you feel any better  Sebastian Crow is starting to standup; he is on knees right now.John: Where is Chris Lee?James: Chris Lee is still on the outside somewhereJohn: Sebastian Crow slowly starts pacing himself to the ropes and  WHATTHE, SEBASTIAN CROW HAS BEEN SPRAYED! CHRIS LEE WAS ON THE OUTSIDE WAITINGON HIM WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! HE IS STILL SPRAYING HIM! Now, he grabsa-hold of Sebastian Crow s hair and sends a punch to the side of his face!James: Sebastian steps through the ropes and Chris Lee takes control  did Ijust say, Sebastian steps through the ropes?John: Uh, yes you did.James:  damn scripts.John:  what scripts?James: Good point, now, Chris Lee walks Sebastian to the other side of thering. He tosses his head into the birdcage  John, I am still wondering howmuch longer these men can last out? They are all ready bleeding!John: We will see  and Chris Lee goes for an Irish whip, Sebastian reverses,and  SHIT, CHRIS LEE GOES THROUGH THE CELL WALL, CRASHING THROUGH THEGUARDRAIL!James: Was that supposed to happen?John: Sebastian Crow follows  he brings Lee back to his feet and bends thecell covering, wrapping it around Lee!James: What, the hell,John: I am serious! No, wait, I am not  yes I am! Sebastian now brings Leefrom out of it and drills the side end into Lee s forehead!James:  ouch, that has to hurt! Watch as the blood pours out onto the floor!Chris Lee is growling at the painJohn: Sebastian tosses Lee back into the cage. Lee is crawling away, tryingto break free for a second rest  Sebastian keeps following, as he sends aboot into Lee s ass, followed by an elbow to the heart. He stands Chris Leeup and rolls him back in the ring.James: Sebastian Crow gets on the apron and starts climbing the turnbucklehe is going for a high-risk move, Lee is almost up, and he grabs somethingSebastian Crow goes for it and Chris Lee strikes Sebastian in the stomachwith a fist full of barbwire!John: Ouch, THAT HAS TO HURT!James:  followed by DDT on a steel chair! Sebastian is holding onto hisguts, in pain here!John: Chris Le has the chance! He stands up the ladder and starts climbingit. Sebastian cannot stand upJames: I do not imagine! That shot to the guts, especially from barbwire,will injure anybody for a long time! Chris Lee continues climbing  he mustbe going nearly 30+ feet above ring-level to reach the slip!John: LOOK AT SEBASTIAN THOUGH; HE IS FIGHTING HIS WAY BACK UP! He istoughing it out!James: Sebastian Crow is still very injured, bleeding from his stomach. Hestarts climbing the other side of the ladder  Chris Lee notices this  hepauses, no, keep going Chris!John: Chris Lee keeps going but Sebastian reaches through the steps, hegrabs a-hold of Lee s foot and brings him down the stairs! Chris Lee hangsonto the ladder; the ladder is stumbling from that fall! Lee hit his jaw onthe way down; it looks likeJames: Now Sebastian and Chris are at equal heights  they are climbing up;this has to be it, let us see who the conclusion winner is! Who will go tonext month s pay per view to fight the SHOOT Champion, whoever that may beafter tonight!John: JAMES, LOOK AT THEM! THEY ARE AT THE TOP STEP! Now, they are sluggingit out! They are reaching for the slip of paper! They are pushing each otheraway! Who will it be? THEY HAVE THE SLIP OF PAPER  wait; they are fightingover itJames:  uh-oh,John: Come on men, you cannot do that!James: Let us hope what I think happens does not happen{Suddenly, the piece of paper rips in two.}James:  oh shit.John:  oh monkey shit.:-STRONG SILENCE-:James:  what, the hell just happened?John: Okay James, Sebastian was tugging for it, Chris Lee was tugging forit, uh, and they both got it!{The entire sudden, there is a loud intercom voice echo over the paspeakers   RELEASE THE BIRDS!  }John:  oh SHIT! Sebastian and Chris agree to one thing, they are climbingdown the ladder as quickly as possible! The sounds of flocking birds, I canhear them coming from inside that blackness  SHITJames: Yeah, I know John; this is un-real!John: No, I really mean it James  shit!{Shit droppings fall to the mat and all around inside the cage.}James: OH SHIT, THAT IS SHIT! Sebastian and Chris are dodging it as fast asthey can  at last, they made their way off the ladder and  THERE THEY ARE!THERE ARE THE BIRDS! THEY CIRCLED SEBASTIAN CROW; THEY TOOK SEBASTIAN OFFHIS FEET  CHRIS LEE TRIED TO EXIT THE RING  NO LUCK, THE BIRDS GOT HIM TOO!John: This shit is crazy, James!James: The birds are flocking and pecking the shit out of our twocompetitors! Bird shit is falling everywhere inside that cage!John: Call Aaron, he will know what to do!James: Sebastian Crow has finally rolled out of the ring and is staying aslow as possible, hoping the birds will not see him  he exits the cage,followed by Chris Lee and, OH MY GOD, THE BIRDS ARE LOOSE!{The audience screams.}John: *Stands up* FOLKS, JUST MOVE WHEN THEY ARE TO YOU!James:  you idiot, the birds are loose in the audience!John: Oh my God, this IS insane!{A little kid cries, running through the audience.}A little kid: WHA, MOMMY, DOODEE,James: Shit, this is crazy  Sebastian and Chris have finally exited theringside area, they are both winners  do not know how but these birdsyikes, call the janitor department, we have an emergency!**PROMO FOR OBLIVION**Two out of Three falls for the SHOOT Title The Prodigy Son  Jeff Cross v.  The Real Deal  Josh JohnsonJames: Well folks, here we go. We finally have the birds cleared from theaudience and Crowe finally gets a shot to compete for the SHOOT titleagainst none other than SHOOT Project Champion, Josh Johnson. Let us getthings rolling!{ Break Yaw Neck  by BUSTA RHYMES blares over the pa speakers as  TheProdigy Son  Jeff Cross walks to the ring, gaining a mixed reaction from thefans.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing first in our main-event, thechallenger, he is one-half of the SHOOT Project Tag Team Champions,  THEPRODIGY SON  JEFF CROSS!James: Jeff Cross used to be part of Sebastian Crow s ConspiratorsJohn: Yes, but earlier tonight, he and Skull made the mistake by leaving theConspirators.{ I Stand Alone  by GODSMACK blares over the pa speakers as  The Real DealJosh Johnson walks to the ring, gaining a huge pop reaction from the fans.}Ring Announcer, Samantha Coil: Introducing second in our main-event, he isthe SHOOT Project World Heavyweight Champion! He is as well a FORMER IronFist and Triad Champion,  THE REAL DEAL  JOSH JOHNSON!James: Looks like he is the fan favorite in this one.John: When is he not fan favorite? I cannot people are buying into his lieslately.James: He is not lying, he has been telling the truth.John: Now remember, Jeff Cross is taking Skull's place in this match. Sincehe was hurt in the tag match earlier with Cross.James: That is right. He teamed up with his new running friend Cross. Rancidhanded the title back to Jeff and he was stuck without a partner for thenight.John: Running friend (he laughs a bit) that is a good one. Running from thecops together and all,James: When Skull fell from the ladder, the echo of a crack went through theaudience.John: That was a sad sight indeed.James: Speak for yourself. I enjoyed watching that evil bastard get what hedeserves.{Jeff Cross gets in the ring as the bell rings.}John: And we start our main event. This should be interesting.James: Jeff Cross charges at Real Deal, who counters with a drop toe hold.Real Deal picks Cross-up by the hair and whips him into the ropes. He comerunning back and hits Real Deal with a lariat, knocking him down.John: Jeff Cross gets on top of Johnson and begins pounding away with leftsand rights. Johnson kicks Cross off and gets to his feet. He grabs Cross andbulldogs him to the mat. Johnson goes to the top turnbuckle. That is not ausual Real Deal move.James: He is not, known for high flying really, but he can do it when hewants to. Johnson leaps off. He is, met with a hard fist to the gut.John: That was one hell of a punch! Jeff Cross stands to his feet as JoshJohnson is rolling around on the mat holding his stomach.James: That was no ordinary punch. Jeff Cross puts the pair of brassknuckles back in his tights as Dark Krystal is checking on Johnson. JeffCross pushes Dark Krystal aside, and she gets in his face. Jeff's about tohit Dark KrystalJohn: Do not hit the ref man. You will be, disqualified!James: And he would not be champion.John: Krystal takes her index finger and points at her referee shirt, whichcauses Jeff to turn back to Real Deal. He slides out of the ring, and grabsJohnson. He drags him to the ring post. He wants to slam his leg against it!James: But Johnson kicks him away instead. Jeff Cross falls against theguardrail. Johnson gets to his feet and slingshots over the top rope. Hecomes flying down on Cross with a cross body block. Both men go down hard.Dark Krystal begins her ten counts. I am not sure who got the worst of thatone.John: Real Deal gets up and whips Cross into the steel ring steps, knockingthem over. Cross-hit the stairs with his elbow and his holding hit tight tohis side. Dark Krystal gets to the eight counts and says fuck it. She sitsdown on the ring post and just watches. What is that bitch doing?James: She is letting there be a winner. She is not going to let this matchgo with a disqualification.John: Jeff Cross is slowly getting to his feet. Josh backs up and chargesand, HOLY SHIT! Jeff Cross grabbed a running Johnson and lifts him into theair. He slams him down onto the knocked over steel steps with a Samoan Slam.His body bends over practically backwards on the steps.James: Did you hear that impact? Jeff Cross rolls Johnson's body off thestairs and rolls him into the ring. Cross-goes for a pinJohn: This is it, the first fall!James: Dark Krystal hops down off the turnbuckle and begins counting.OneTwoJohn: What the fuck is she doing? Dark Krystal stops counting and beginslooking at her nails. Jeff Cross gets off Johnson and gets in Krystal'sface. She acts as if she did nothing wrong.James: YES,John: Johnson somehow musters up the strength to roll Crossover in an insidecradle.OneTwoKick outJohn: That was a fast count damn it!James: Cross gets up and whips The Real Deal into the corner. He follows inand climbs the second ropes. He begins punching away as the audience counts.OneTwoThreeFourFiveSixJames: Man Jeff is not letting up.John: He really wants this title.SevenEightNineJohn: OH MY GOD, Josh Johnson lifts Jeff up and over, sending him flyingthrough the outside.James: FUCK, OUR TABLE, Jeff Cross comes crashing down onto our table,collapsing it under his weight. Josh Johnson gets on the top turnbuckle andleaps offJohn:  a desperate move,James: But effective if he lands it,John: HOLY SHIT, just before landing, Cross-rolls over and Johnson hits thepile that used to be the announcer s table. Johnson hit the side of his ribson one of the monitors, smashing it into pieces.James: These people are giving it their all tonight.John: It is a big match, neither one is going to give up.James: Both men are, laid out flat outside the ring. Neither one moving,Johnson is, cracked open from the monitor.John: Dark Krystal starts counting for both of them.OneTwoJames: Come on, somebody move,ThreeJames: Dark Krystal rings for the bell.John: So who won that fall?Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen. Special referee Dark Krystal hasdeclared the first fall, a DRAW!James: Listen to that, the crowd is ecstatic!{The crowd erupts in cheers.}James: Finally, both men slowly start moving. They get to their feet, andJeff gets a sudden burst of energy.John: Well that energy did not last long.James: He is, knocked back down with the monitor. Johnson slammed it acrosshis face as Jeff came charging at him. He falls to the floor spitting out amouth full of blood. I think I saw a tooth fly out of Jeff's mouth on thatone.John: Josh Johnson has the monitor's wire is flings it down, whipping JeffCross with the monitor.James: Damn it, first our table now our monitors?John: Will these people ever stop? Johnson stalks around Cross.  He beginsto pick him up.James: Low blow by Cross! Johnson goes down hard!John: Jeff Cross nails Johnson with a couple punches, and then raises a kneeto his face. Johnson snaps backwards, and his head hits the concrete hard.James: That could be it!John: Cross picks up Johnson and slides him into the ring.  Dark Krystalfollows him.James: Whom does he think he is fooling?  She will not make the count!John: Wait, he is putting Johnson into a sharpshooter!James: That sneaky bastard,John: Cross-puts Johnson in a sharpshooter, but Johnson is still out cold.Dark Krystal looks around, not sure of what to do.  She walks over toJohnson and lifts one arm up. It falls.James: Two more arm drops and we have a new champion!John:  she picks the arm up again. It drops.James: Dark Krystal is obviously worried here. Who would not?{Krystal s face contorts with rage.}John: NO, She just kicked Jeff Cross in the back of the leg.James: He releases the hold!  We are still going here!John: Krystal drags Johnson s body and drapes it over Jeff Crosses.James: Here it is folks!OneTwoKick outJohn: He kicked out!James: No,John: Krystal yells.  Cross-is getting up.  He runs over to Dark Krystal,yelling at her.  She is, backed into a corner.James: But here comes Johnson who is back up, goes for the clothesline, butCross-moved!John: Krystal was, hit right in the throat with that clothesline.  She isdown!  He must not have seen her. Johnson turns to Cross.  The walk over andget face to face and stare each other down.  The crowd is on its feet.James: Punches back and forth, Cross blocks, DDT!  He is leaving the ring;Johnson is holding his head.  Why is he coming over here?John: Johnson grabs a steel chair and walks back to the ring.  He slides in.Johnson is on his knees.James:  Cross-is going for the kill shot here, he raises it over his headJohn: Here it comesJames: As it s coming down Johnson kicks it back into Cross s face.Cross-is down!  Cross-is down!John: But so is Johnson.  That took a lot out of him.James:  Krystal is back up though.  She looks around and begins the tencounts.OneTwoThreeFourJohn: What happens if this is a double count out?James: A draw I would guess. Krystal stops the count.  She goes over andpicks up JohnsonJohn: What a bitch,James: I think she is being quite fair.  She is propping him up in thecorner, and now goes back to her count.FiveSixSevenJohn:  Cross-is getting up, He is still alive. Cross-gets to his knees andKrystal looks exasperated.  She stops the count and glares at Cross.James: If looks could kill, they would both be dead right now.John: Johnson is on his feet, but he gets out of the ring.  Cross picks upthe chair and taunts Johnson. What is he looking for?James: Johnson reaches underneath the ring and pulls out  Yes!  A batcovered with barbed wire.John: Johnson smiles and looks at Cross.  The smiles disappear when he seesCross smiling back.  Cross-throws the chair out of the ring at Johnson, Heavoids it butJames: Cross just ran and dove between the ropes!  He nails Johnson in thegut with his body!  That impact was amazing!John: They may both be dead now!James: But they are not.  Cross-gets up after a couple second, Dark Krystalis now on the outside.  Cross-throws the barbed wire bats into the ring.John: He picks up Johnson and puts him in Tombstone pile driver position.James: If he hits this, it is over.John: Not so fast,James: Indeed, Johnson s' kicking his legs and he reverses the pile driver.Now Cross-is about to be, no!  Cross flips over and gets back into control!He hits the tombstone pile driver!John: Johnson is out cold.  Krystal is shocked. Dark Krystal is shaking herhead in disbelief.  Cross-is wasting no time.  He picks the chair up andpositions it on the floor.  He picks up the body of Johnson and sets him upfor a traditional pile driver.James: Krystal is getting in his face!  He lets go of Johnson and grabsKrystal!John: He throws her into the ring post.  She falls down like a ton ofbricks! Cross picks up Johnson again and puts his head between his legs.James: He is going for the pile driver again, so help him god.  He reversesand back body drops Cross onto the concrete!  This match is so extreme. Ihave not seen something like this for ages!John:  Did you see what Johnson just did?James:  Cross-is out cold, it would seem.  Johnson is up, and he is grinningfrom ear to ear, blood running out of his mouth, and cuts abundant on hisface.  He eyes the steel chair and casually walks over to pick it up, Crossbeings to stir.John:  Cross-, is, stirring here.  He is getting to his knees.  Johnsonclimbs out to the ring apron, seeing Jeff getting to his knees.  From theopposite sides, Johnson runs, and nails Cross in the head with a chair!James:  MAN that sounded like it hurt, And Johnson is not finished!John:  Cross-is out  there is blood spilling from his mouth, and onto thefloor.  The fans at ringside are, a little grossed out, it would seem.James:  Johnson drops the chair, and begins to lift Cross-up.  He has him ina doubled over position.  Johnson then, kicks the back of Cross- s knee,putting Cross back on his knees, and Real Deal just drives Cross-' face intothe steel chair at an alarming rate!John:  Where, the hell is Krystal?James:  She has perched on the top turnbuckle, John.John:  Oh  meanwhile,  Johnson locks Cross, who is really out cold, into anSTF, cinching in whatever pain threshold might be left.James:  After Johnson gets through with this set of destruction, what do youthink will happen?  Do you think he will just toss him into the ring andcover him?John:  OH SHIT,James:  JOHNSON IS BACK UP AND HAS A STEEL CHAIR IN HAND!John:  HE JUST BROUGHT THAT CHAIR DOWN ONTO AN UNCONSCIOUS JEFF CROSS!James:  HOLY SHIT, something needs to be, done here!John:  Krystal is smiling!James:  Josh has that chair and he brings it down AGAIN!John:  CROSS-IS GOING TO DIE!James:  AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN,John:  I do not think I have ever seen Josh Johnson like this beforeJames:  Well, what do you expect?  The man has had so much taken from him inthe past two months; you would think he had a little bit of pent upfrustration, right?John:  DAMN, ONE MORE TIME,James:  So I think you might be able to understand where he is coming fromhereJohn:  James, no matter what you say, no man should be, put through thisJames:  Just imagine if that were Skull, John.  Think about what Johnsonmust be feeling right now!  All of that hatred and contempt for Nick Davis,all he did for two months was to taunt Josh Johnson, and once Josh beat him,he tried to convince him that Skull laid down for Real Deal!John:  Well, in all actuality, I do not see any mistruth in thatJames:  Oh, shut your fucking mouth, would you?  How would you feel if Skullkidnapped your wife, huh John?  Would you like that?  OH!  Josh with a DDTonto that chair!  It is, covered in blood!John:  Hey, you leave my wife out of this.  You are just mad at me because Ifucked your mom.  Johnson is not worth the dog shit in my yard!James:  JOHN that is YOUR world champion how could you even says such athing.  Johnson is a pinnacle of today's working class hero!John:  Yeah, working class  right that is why he is living in high-riseapartments and condominiums all over the United States.James:  Ugh, you make me sick sometimes you know that.  And Johnson againwith a chair shot!  How many is that now?  8?John:  HEY KRYSTAL, WHY NOT GET OFF YOUR LAZY BITCH ASS AND DO SOMETHINGABOUT THIS!James:  JOHN, Watch your mouth!  I would not be surprised if Krystal did notcome down here and knocked the shit out of you  but wait, she is getting offthe turnbuckle.  She has come down, as Johnson is administering some morepunishment to Jeff Cross.John:  Good, it's about time that bitch did something.  Women, they are goodfor nothing.James:  Mary, I hope you are listening to what your husband just said.John:  OH SHIT!  We are on camera right. Can we go back and edit that out?James:  We are quite live, there, John Boy.  Mary, not only does he thinkthat bitches be tripping' but when he has caught red handed, he wants to goback in time, as if nothing ever happened.  I would not be surprised if Johnhas not cheated on you.John:  JAMES, Are you trying to get me in trouble?  Let us get back to thematch!  Uh- Um- Johnson and Cross-, who is still out is back in the ring.Johnson goes up to the top rope, in the middle, and tries a senton bomb, butCross BARELY rolls out of the way.James:  Wow, did that EVER catch Johnson by surprise!  He is livid!John:  You can say that again!James:  Wow, did that EVER catch Johnson by surprise!  He is livid!John:  Dude, I hate you.  I hate you so much.James:  Heh heh heh, Johnson is back on his feet, and waiting for JeffCross, who in his defense, should be quite dead right now.  Real Deal takesoff after Cross, who ducks.  Real Deal bounces off the ropes, and is, metwith a massive elbow to the chin by Jeff Cross!  Real Deal hits the mathard.John:  Serves that little punk bitch right.  He is nothing, new worldchampion, right here.James:  Cross with the coverOne,TwoKICK OUTJames:  The fans come to their feet, in support of the Real Deal as he kicksout from a hard elbow to the chin.  Real Deal gets to his feet really,quick, and as Jeff turns   Real Deal, kick to the gut!  END GAME (VerticalSuplex into an ace crusher)!John:  How he got Jeff Cross up is totally beyond meJames:  Cover,One,Two,Thr-Kick outJohn:  Cross-kicked out of the End Game!  That was amazing!  The Real Dealcannot believe it!James:  The Real Deal is FURIOUS!  Cross-is up, Cross with the ProdigalLock!John:  REAL DEAL IS GOING TO TAP!James:  Krystal is checking Johnson here, to see if he is going to submit.Johnson is grasping, inching ever so closely to the ropes.  Cross-is lookingquite tired, almost as though he will give up the hold.John:  You have to remember, you namby pamby bastard that Cross alreadywrestled tonight.  He went to hell and back with the Flying Dutchman and theFist.James:  Yeah, yeah, that still should not deter him.  This is the biggestopportunity he has had in his career.  He should not be laying down on thejob, especially with the company's most heralded prize on the line.John:  I was just saying, is all?James:  Anyway, Krystal is checking Johnson, who is looking like he is aboutto pass out.  She lifts his arm  it drops  lifts it again  and the Real Dealdrops again   One last time  it dr- no, he has a burst of energy, and hegets to a knee, and heads to the ropes, breaking the hold!John:  Jeff Cross thought he had it there, you can see the disappointmentand anger in his face.  He is up, and Johnson is seemingly gasping for air.Cross-, looming over Real Deal picks him up and slams him down with atextbook body slam.  Way to go Jeff!James:  The Real Deal is looking the worse for wear here...  which is odd,considering the massive head trauma that was, caused by the steel chairs.Real Deal is breathing quite heavily, and Krystal checks on him.John:  You think that might make Tara jealous.James:  Unless she was a child, I do not see why it would.John:  Whatever, you are ALWAYS right.  I do not know why I even begin toargue with you.James:  Yeah, fuck you pal.  Jeff Cross has Real Deal up on his shoulders.He runs him into the turnbuckle, but Johnson pushes out and sends Cross-intothe turnbuckle.  Johnson grabs Cross from behind and nails a VICIOUS halfnelson suplex that folds Cross up like an accordion!John:  Cross-may really is, injured here.  That could have hurt his neck.James:  Real Deal puts Cross in the sharpshooter, and as Cross inches to theropes, Real Deal pulls him into the middle of the ring, and he cinches it ineven harder.  Krystal checks on Cross.  No give, The Real Deal just lets go,letting Cross slump almost lifelessly into the middle of the ring.  RealDeal smirks, and goes to the top of Cross-' body, and kicks him in the sideof the head, busting him open at the temple.John:  This ring is, covered in blood.  This is what the SHOOT Project isall about, right here.James:  That is right, overcoming hardship and working through the blood,the sweat, and the tears, to succeed, and to ultimately, stay alive.{All the sudden, flames of fire burst from the stage }James: WHAT, THE FUCK,John: What is going on this time?{The Conspirators, Sebastian Crow, Rancid, Tammy Lee, and Randy Wayne Longstep out from behind the curtain wearing all blacks and trench coats. Theirtrench coats are, buttoned up. Shades cover their eyes. Then suddenly, theysplit to separate sides and Roland the Dark approaches the stage  he walksdown the ramp-way, smiling at the action.}James: What, the hell is this?John: I do not know! Josh Johnson steps out of the ring. He is going toconfront Roland himself! Josh and Roland stomp toward each other  wait;Roland grabs hold of Johnson and pushes him back to the ground! Josh Johnsonfights back though! Like a true champion, Josh Johnson charges at Rolandagain. Roland catches his bare hands around Johnson s neck and tosses himthrough the guardrail! Jesus Christ, Roland grabs a-hold of the top rope andsteps overJames: Jeff Cross stands to his feet. It looks as if Roland has come to JeffCrosses aid! The Conspirators have come to help Jeff Cross win this thing!John:  OH NO, THEY HAVE NOT, ROLAND GRABS A-HOLD OF JEFF CROSSES THROAT, HEBRINGS  HE BRINGS A HAMMER FROM HIS TRENCH COAT AND STRIKES JEFF CROSS INBETWEEN THE EYES!{The Conspirators continue to watch from the stage, not moving an inch.}James: What, the hell is going on here?John: Now, Josh Johnson is back in the ring! He throws a shot toward RolandRoland catches it, he holds his arm there  why, I wonderJames: WAIT A SECOND, DARK KRYSTAL FROM BEHIND, SHE JUST LOW-BLOWED JOSHJOHNSON!John: WHAT,James: SHE JUST LOW-BLOWED JOSH JOHNSON, MY GOD, WHAT, THE HELL ISHAPPENING{Camera s glance back at the Conspirators, they are laughing, yet watching.}John: Look at Roland! Roland holds Johnson  Dark bounces off the ropes, shecomes back, and, KRYSTAL CUTTER!James: Now, Roland covers Johnson over Cross  this is ridicoulasOneTwoThree**Ding, Ding, Ding**{ I Stand Alone  by GODSMACK blares over the pa speakers as Dark and Rolandhigh-five in the ring. They smile at the carnage. Dark exchanges a smilewith Sebastian as he nods his head and signals for them to come.}James: My God, this was not right. This was not right at all!John:  James, both men are knocked senseless! This whole time, Dark Krystalwas playing Johnson just for this particular moment!James: Jesus  this is not right  folks, thank you for joining us on Training Day   we will see you next week at Oblivion  shitFADE OUT.SHOOT Project EntertainmentA Daniel Jones/Jason Johnson ProductionDate:   Sunday, April 28, 2002