EP.: 063
DATE: 08.19.2024
ARENA: THE EPICENTER
The camera opens backstage at the Epicenter, catching the returning Ryan Samuels as he bursts through the doors like a force of nature. His heavy boots stomp against the floor, echoing down the hallway. With a look of pure determination, he barrels through a group of employees who were standing around chatting, sending them scattering in all directions.
One poor soul, holding a clipboard, tries to get out of the way but isn’t quick enough. Ryan grabs him by the collar and with surprising ease, flings him over a nearby catering table. The crash is loud, but Ryan barely notices.
Ryan Samuels: [reaching the table, scanning it eagerly] Alright, let’s see what we got here—
His face drops as he realizes the table is filled with various types of salads. A big bowl of green, leafy salad takes center stage. Ryan stares at it, his expression turning into one of utter disgust.
Ryan Samuels: [incredulously] Salad? [he picks up a bowl, glaring at it like it’s the enemy] You gotta be kiddin’ me. What the hell am I supposed to do with a salad?
He tosses the bowl back onto the table with a force that makes it rattle. He looks around, as if someone’s playing a joke on him, then his eyes narrow in annoyance.
Ryan Samuels: [snarling, pacing back and forth] Who the hell eats salad before a fight? Where’s the damn steak?
An employee nervously approaches, holding a tray of what looks like wraps or sandwiches, hoping to placate the beast.
Employee 2: Uh… Mr. Samuels, we’ve got some wraps here if you’d like—
Ryan Samuels: [snatching a wrap, sniffing it suspiciously] Wraps? What am I, a rabbit? [takes a half-hearted bite, chews slowly, his scowl deepening]
He spits the bite out into a napkin, tossing the wrap back on the table with a grunt.
Ryan Samuels: This is garbage! Who’s in charge of this place?
Frustrated, Ryan slams his fists on the table, causing everything to shake. He looks around, shaking his head in disbelief.
Ryan Samuels: I come back to this, and all you got for me is salad and wraps? This is a joke!
As Ryan continues his rant, an unfortunate employee who had been snacking on some lettuce inches away. Ryan’s eyes lock on him, and he narrows his gaze.
Ryan Samuels: [snarling] You! What’s that in your hand? Is that another salad?
The employee freezes, caught red-handed with a forkful of lettuce halfway to his mouth.
Employee 3: Uh… y-yes, sir.
Ryan Samuels: [grabs the salad bowl from the employee’s hands and chucks it across the room] Salad? I ain’t here for no damn salad! Ain’t nobody got time for this!
The salad bowl crashes against the wall, sending greens flying everywhere. The employees back away, clearly intimidated by the increasingly agitated Samuels.
Ryan Samuels: [throwing his arms up in frustration] This place is fallin’ apart!
He turns on his heel and storms off, still grumbling under his breath, as the camera follows him down the hall.
Ryan Samuels: No steak… all I want is a damn steak… [he pushes another employee out of his way, not slowing down]
The camera lingers on the stunned catering staff, now faced with the task of cleaning up Ryan’s salad explosion. The employee who had tried to offer him the wrap sighs in relief as the chaos fades down the hallway.
Employee 2: [to himself] Steak… next time, definitely steak.
The scene fades out as Ryan continues his rampage through the backstage area, looking for someone to take his frustrations out on.
IN THE RING
I'M HERE TO DESTROY
The camera shifts from the backstage area to the Epicenter arena, the crowd buzzing with excitement. The lights dim, and suddenly, “Old West Gunslingers” blares through the speakers. The fans erupt into deafening cheers as Ryan Samuels steps onto the stage, his presence commanding the arena. His face is set in a determined, grumpy expression, his eyes scanning the crowd with a mixture of irritation and intensity. He marches to the ring with a purpose, microphone in hand, as the fans chant his name.
Crowd: “Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!”
Ryan Samuels: [Scowling, raising the microphone to his lips] Yeah, yeah, I know you all missed me. [The crowd roars even louder.] Let’s get one thing straight. I didn’t want to be gone. I was forced out because of Roy Vezina’s scheming. That snake thought he could sideline me, but guess what? I’m back, and I’ve got more determination than ever.
He paces the ring, his frustration palpable, but the fans are eating it up. His voice is filled with raw emotion, a mix of anger and resolve.
Ryan Samuels: [Pointing angrily] Roy Vezina, wherever you are hiding, you’re gonna pay. You’re nothing but a coward who got kicked out of your own little group. You thought you could get rid of me, but all you did was make me stronger. And Harv Norris, you’re just as bad, hiding behind Roy and your puck buddy over there. But tonight, it’s just me and you. One on one, son.
The crowd cheers louder, sensing the tension and the upcoming confrontation. Ryan’s eyes narrow as he continues to vent his frustrations.
Ryan Samuels: And Major Malice? You think you’re some kind of tough guy? You’re a phony, a joke. You think you can intimidate me? I’ve faced bigger and badder than you, and I’m still standing. You can bring your whole damn maple syrup loving army, and I’ll still take you down.
The fans cheer, loving Ryan’s fiery, no-nonsense attitude. Suddenly, the lights flicker and the arena is plunged into darkness. The fans murmur in confusion, their excitement turning into a mix of anticipation and concern. Then, the lights flash back on, and Rick Hull and Harv Norris are standing behind Ryan in the ring, hockey sticks in hand.
Ryan Samuels: [Turning around, realizing what’s happening] Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.
Harv swings his stick at Ryan’s ribs, but Ryan catches it mid-air, and takes Harv down with a jab to the throat. The fans gasp in shock and cheer as Ryan’s quick reflexes turn the tables. Rick swings his stick at Ryan’s back, but Samuels ducks and jabs Rick in the gut with Harv’s stick. As Rick doubles over, Ryan kicks Rick right in his face, causing him to stumble back. The crowd erupts in cheers, rallying behind Ryan’s defiance.
Crowd: “Let’s go Ryan! Let’s go Ryan!”
Seeing his chance, Ryan hits the ropes to get momentum for his feared lariat, but Major Malice, who was on the outside of the ring, pulls down the top rope, causing Ryan to tumble to the floor. The fans boo loudly, their excitement turning into outrage.
Major Malice: [Sneering, delivering a nasty kick to Ryan’s ribs with his steel toe boots] Stay down, maggot.
Rick and Harv jump out of the ring and begin to smash the fallen Samuels with their hockey sticks. The crowd’s boos grow louder as the attack continues. Ryan writhes in pain, but his determination doesn’t waver. After a few moments, Ryan manages to trip Rick and launch Harv over the barricade with a huge pounce, sending him into the front row of fans! The fans cheer wildly, their support for Ryan unwavering.
Crowd: “Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!”
He turns his gaze on Major Malice who matches his intensity. As Ryan advances, Rick low blows him with his hockey stick. The Punch Line quickly take off through the crowd as Ryan stumbles to his feet and rolls back into the ring, his body aching but his spirit unbroken.
Ryan Samuels: [Picking up the microphone, blood dripping from his mouth] Harv Norris, hot damn! You better collect yourselves quickly, cause you just woken the Midwest Nightmare and there’s no stopping me now.
The fans go wild as a very pissed-off Samuels looks ready to hurt someone. He wipes the blood from his mouth and glares at the retreating Punch Line, his determination burning stronger than ever. The camera zooms in on his face, capturing the raw intensity and resolve in his eyes.
Ryan Samuels: [Breathing heavily, his voice a mix of rage and resolve] This isn’t over. Not by a long shot. Roy, Harv, Rick, Major Malice—you all just made the biggest mistake of your lives. You think you can break me? You think you can take me out? I’ve been through hell and back, and I’m still standing. I’m not just here to win—I’m here to destroy.
The fans continue to chant his name, their support unwavering. Ryan raises his fist in the air and throws up the bullhorns, a symbol of his unyielding determination. The arena is electric with anticipation, knowing that the battle between Ryan Samuels and The Punch Line is far from over.
Crowd: “Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!”
The scene ends with Ryan standing tall in the ring, bloodied but unbroken, his eyes burning with a fierce determination. Norris shakily climbs into the ring as the two get ready to square off for the opening match here at Ruination.
HARV NORRIS VS. RYAN SAMUELS
Singles Match
POST MATCH
THE HAMMERS OF RETRIBUTION
Ryan, having secured the victory, stands in the middle of the ring, his grumpy demeanor slightly softened by the roaring cheers from the fans. He takes in the adulation, though it’s clear he’s not entirely comfortable with the spotlight.
Ryan Samuels: [Muttering to himself] Yeah, yeah, cheer all ya want…
Suddenly, Rick Hull leaps into the ring, and before Ryan can react, Harv Norris joins him. The two members of The Punch Line start beating down on Samuels, delivering vicious kicks and punches. The crowd boos loudly, trying to warn Ryan, but he’s quickly overwhelmed by the two-on-one assault.
Rick Hull: [Shouting] How’s this for a grudge match, huh?
Just as the beatdown starts to look brutal, patriotic music begins to play over the loudspeakers. The fans erupt in cheers as Johnny Patriot, with Old Glory hanging on a pole over his shoulder, dashes down the ramp and slides into the ring.
Scott Kamura: Here comes Johnny Patriot! The Punch Line is in for it now!
Johnny wastes no time evening the odds. He charges at Rick and Harv, swinging Old Glory like a weapon. He whips Harv in the butt with the flagpole, causing Harv to squeal in pain and stumble backwards.
Harv Norris: [Yelping] Ow, me arse!
Ryan Samuels, finally getting to his feet, joins the fray. The two men, Ryan and Johnny, work together seamlessly, clearing the ring of The Punch Line. Rick and Harv scramble out of the ring, retreating up the ramp as the crowd cheers wildly.
Johnny Patriot: [Grinning, waving Old Glory] That’s what you get!
Ryan grabs a microphone from ringside and glares up the ramp at the retreating Punch Line.
Ryan Samuels: [Shouting] Hey! Rick, Harv! You think you’re so tough, huh? Beatin’ me down when my back’s turned? You’re just a couple of chickens!
The crowd roars in agreement, chanting “Chicken! Chicken!” Rick and Harv look back, visibly angry but also a bit scared.
Ryan Samuels: [Continuing] If you think you’re so big and bad, why don’t you face Johnny Patriot and me next time around? How ‘bout that?
The fans go wild at the challenge, their cheers filling the arena. Johnny, still holding Old Glory, nods enthusiastically and slaps Ryan on the back.
Ryan Samuels: [With a smirk] You see, boys, there’s a new force to be reckoned with. We’re not just two guys thrown together. No, we’re a storm brewing, a force of nature ready to unleash hell on anyone who thinks they can stir up some shit.
The crowd leans in, eager to hear the proclamation.
Ryan Samuels: [Eyes blazing with intensity] We’re the embodiment of hard justice, the hammers of ass-kickin’ retribution. We are Red, White & Bruise! The most American, hard-hitting team in all of SHOOT Project!
The arena explodes with applause and cheers. The fans chant “Red, White & Bruise!” as Ryan drops the mic. Johnny, grinning ear to ear, lifts Old Glory high, the flag waving proudly above them.
Dutch Harris: Red, White & Bruise! I can’t wait to see what happens next!
The camera focuses on the triumphant faces of Ryan Samuels and Johnny Patriot, the newly formed team ready to take on all comers, their resolve and determination palpable. Meanwhile, Rick and Harv retreat up the ramp, clearly shaken but already plotting their next move.
BARRY BATES VS. REGASHI
Singles Match
PREVIOUSLY RECORDED
GO ON HOME
We find ourselves in a hotel room; but not just any hotel room. A master suite at the top of a brand-name Las Vegas establishment with a view overlooking the entire strip. Shrouded in this decadence, however, is a single queen bed and television set to that annoying hotel menu channel trying to convince you to use their spa or pay some astronomical sum for toast and fruit that just so happens to be prepped by Gordon Ramsay or Kristen Kish.
We hear the sound of a lock clicking as Kaz Troy steps out of the bathroom just feet from the hotel room door, adjusting his belt as he reorients his pants situation. He is so focused that he doesn’t even notice his roommate, located in the adjacent suite, has already opened the door and is watching him fumble with his zipper.
Cecilia Ryan: Got it all in there, ace?
Kaz looks up, his face flushing as he turns away and finishes zipping up.
Kaz Troy: Knock for chrissakes. I could have been doing… anything in here.
Cecilia raises an eyebrow, looking at the television playing the hotel menu screen.
Cecilia Ryan: Whatever floats your boat, dude. But I’m losing my mind in this place. Why are we still in Vegas? We’re not booked for SHOOT, neither are dad or Auntie Lindz. Shouldn’t we be… I dunno… somewhere — anywhere — but here?
Kaz looks at Cecilia and then around at his hotel room.
Kaz Troy: Yeah… but with Kingslayer in the main event at Ruination? We’ve got to keep some eyes on things. Who knows what can hap-
** knock knock **
Kaz and Cecilia both turn their heads to the door to Kaz’s room.
Kaz Troy: You heard that, right?
Cecilia nods.
Voice: Complimentary champagne! Only for our finest guests!
Kaz and Cecilia look at each other.
Cecilia Ryan: Did you order champagne?
Kaz Troy: Did you order champagne? They said it was complementary; i.e. not ordered.
Cecilia sighs.
Cecilia Ryan: If we have to be staked out here I suppose we might as well enjoy it.
The younger Ryan moves past the younger Troy to open the door only to immediately try and shut it closed again. But it’s too late; a black-tinted baseball bat is inserted into the door jam as Cecilia backs up and grabs at Kaz’s shoulders.
The Heirs to the Throne watch as the baseball bat is raised slowly and pushes the door open to reveal a smiling Ayumi Seppuku standing in the hallway. The bat is gripped firmly in one hand while a bottle of champagne hangs loosely in the other as Ayumi makes her way confidently into Kaz’s room. She sets the champagne down on a random end table before leaning her body on the handle of the baseball bat and sizing up the second-generation SHOOT Soldiers.
Kaz goes to say something but Ayumi cuts him off. She raises the bat like Babe Ruth calling a shot and points it inches away from Troy’s face. He freezes.
Ayumi Seppuku: Nope. You’re going to listen to me and listen really fuckin’ good. Okay?
Kaz hesitates but Cecilia elbows him in the gut. The pair nod slowly, trying to search for something, anything, to even the odds but they are immediately caught off guard as Ayumi takes the bat and swings it violently to her right, busting a massive hole in the room’s drywall.
Ayumi Seppuku: I said… OKAY?
The pair lock eyes with Ayumi who lowers the bat and just watches. For what seems like an eternity, the three fighters are locked in a silent stalemate until finally Ayumi takes a step backward toward the door.
Ayumi Seppuku: Let me get one more good look at the future of SHOOT…
Ayumi cocks her head, smiling.
Ayumi Seppuku: Yeah… there it is… that glow of privilege. The blood running through your veins that beats to a different – you might claim better – drum than the rest of us.
Ayumi spits on the carpet and then slams her heel into the saliva, grinding it into the fibers in front of Kaz and Cecilia and watching their reaction as she does. They are seething but smart enough not to move as long as Ayumi has a weapon in her hands.
Ayumi Seppuku: But I think there’s one thing we can agree on… and that your mom’s a real fuckin’ bitch, Kaz.
Kaz leaps forward, snarling, but Cecilia pulls him just in time to avoid Ayumi swinging her bat and cracking his skull. Cecilia’s eyes are glowing with rage.
Ayumi Seppuku: Tsk. Almost…
Cecilia steps in front of Kaz and looks off to the side, just enough to distract Ayumi and allowing her to grab the champagne bottle. In a fluid motion she slams it against the corner of the nearest wall and shatters the base before pointing the jagged glass at Ayumi.
The HEXXX leader is unphased. In fact, she laughs dryly in Cecilia’s face.
Ayumi Seppuku: I’d ask if you know how much that single bottle cost… and what that kind of money would mean to some of your so-called fans, but that would be like asking a goldfish to explain why it swims in a straight line but always seems to end up in the same place.
Cecilia rolls her eyes.
Cecilia Ryan: Go do your haiku philosophical self-masturbation somewhere else. OR ELSE.
Cecilia brandishes the broken champagne bottle but is caught off guard as Ayumi lunges forward, grabbing Cecilia’s arm and bringing the edges of the glass right next to her own throat. She grips tightly and drops the bat, bringing her other arm up to secure the bottle’s position as Cecilia now tries to break free.
Ayumi Seppuku: Or else, what, CECILIA?
Ayumi’s eyes are wide and frantic; holding the shattered glass just centimeters from her skin.
Ayumi Seppuku: Your FATHER says he and that TRAITOR have dealt with people like me for decades? Ohhhhhh Cecilia… they’ve NEVER seen anything quite like me. Oh CECILIA.
Ayumi, with her hands still on Cecilia’s wrist, drops to her knees and pulls Cecilia down with her. The two women lock eyes as Ayumi whispers to the younger Ryan in a sing-songy voice.
Ayumi Seppuku: 🎵Cecilia, you’re mending my heart. You’re building my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I’m down on my knees. I’m begging you please to go home. Go on home. 🎵
A terrified Cecilia yanks her hand backwards as Ayumi lets go, causing the champagne bottle to fly backwards and crash somewhere to the side. Ayumi is now laughing hysterically.
She is crawling, rolling, and pitching herself back towards the hotel doorway as Kaz pulls a shaken Cecilia up and pulls her close while Ayumi retreats.
Ayumi Seppuku: 🎵Oh, Cecilia! I’m down on my knees! I’m begging you please! 🎵
Ayumi is still laughing, singing now at the top of her lungs as she picks herself up, grabbing her bat off the floor, and staggers to the frame of the doorway. She leans halfway out and halfway into the room and locks eyes with Cecilia Ryan once more before pointing the bat at both members of Heirs to the Throne with a horrifying look in her eyes before turning to leave and continuing to hum the song to herself while moving down the hallway.
Ayumi Seppuku: 🎵Go on home. Go on home. Go on home. 🎵
A few moments pass as The Heirs watch her disappear around a corner. Kaz surveys the damage, adrenaline coursing through his veins in his anger. Cecilia’s eyes haven’t left the hallway. She stares in place for what seems like hours.
Suddenly, two familiar faces step into her view: her aunt, Lindsay Troy, and her father, Dan Ryan, oblivious to what just took place.
It doesn’t take long though for them to realize something is wrong.
The door is ajar, there’s broken glass everywhere, and the kids both look like they want to murder someone.
Lindsay rushes forward, and it only takes a moment for everything to register.
Lindsay Troy: (seething) Ayumi.
Dan follows behind more methodically, finally approaching the group while analyzing everything around him.
Dan Ryan: Oh, you simply must tell me more about her sometime.
He glances up at Cecilia, who’s shaking with rage.
Dan Ryan: You alright?
Nothing from his daughter. Dan steps forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Dan Ryan: Mind games. Don’t let her get to you. We’ll handle this, don’t worry.
Lindsay walks over to Kaz and places her hands on his arms.
Lindsay Troy: Are you OK?
Kaz Troy: Yeah, mom (A nod). I’m OK.
The Queen looks her son up and down. He’s still vibrating with anger. So is she.
Lindsay Troy: The both of you get your things. You’re staying at the house tonight.
Dan makes eye contact with his daughter and nods. She closes her eyes and breathes deep, trying her best to calm down, then finally walks to her room to get her things, leaving Dan and Lindsay alone.
Dan Ryan: You really did a number on Miss Ayumi, I see. This might be a bit much for the kids to handle just yet.
Lindsay Troy: (through gritted teeth) I didn’t do shit to her, Dan. She just thinks I did.
She looks back through the suite, to Kaz throwing his clothes haphazardly into his bag. Her expression darkens.
Lindsay Troy: But I’m gonna do something to her now.
Dan Ryan: (stepping forward a step) We… are gonna do something to her now. I don’t care what did or didn’t happen, or what she thinks. She’s making it personal. Now we can make it… personal.
Cecilia reappears with her bag slung over her shoulder, slightly calmer but not exactly cheerful. Kaz is a moment behind, approaching the other three with an annoyed grunt. There’s a moment of eye contact between a few of them, and finally Dan gestures toward the door. Lindsay leads the way as they all leave the room, letting the door slam behind them.
Backstage
IT'S FUN TO STAY
In the dressing room, just before his debut alongside his partner, Brick “Sunset” Sunset, Scott Hunter stands pacing back and forth in anticipation. He tugs at his elbow pad and adjusts the wristband on his left arm, muttering to himself.
You assume that he’s muttering something about strategy or pepping himself up for the match, but if you could actually hear him, you’d be disappointed to discover he is simply reciting the lyrics to “Private Eyes” by Daryl Hall & John Oates.
He continues his pacing when suddenly, sliding into frame behind him as if on a conveyor belt, and standing in a full bicep curl pose, is Brick “Sunset” Sunset.
Scott Hunter: Brick! Finally!
Brick Sunset: YES FINALLY! FINALLY WHAT?
Scott Hunter: Nothing, I didn’t actually plan any words beyond ‘finally.’ That said, where have you been? Our match is next!
Brick Sunset: I HAVE BEEN BRAINSTORMING NAMES FOR OUR TEAM! I BELIEVE THE KEY TO A STRONG TEAM IS A STRONG NAME! AND THE KEY TO STRONG COFFEE IS A STRONG ROAST! AND THE KEY TO STRONG LIQUOR IS…
Scott Hunter: A good distillery. Everybody knows that.
Brick relaxes.
Brick Sunset: Oh.
Catching himself, Brick flexes and poses again.
Brick Sunset: I MEAN OH!!!
Scott Hunter: Well it just so happens that I have been thinking about a name for our team as well. I was thinking, I have tassels on my elbow pads, you have them on your knee pads, how about… THE TASSEL TWINS??
Brick Sunset: THAT IS TERRIBLE! I DO NOT LIKE IT! I AM NOT A FAN OF ALLITERATION!! FURTHERMORE WE ARE NOT TWINS, AS FAR AS I KNOW!!
Scott Hunter: Yes, but we are from the same hometown!
Brick Sunset: AH YES THE SMALL FISHING VILLAGE OF MIAMI!! PERHAPS THERE IS A NAME TO BE FOUND IN OUR SEASIDE BEGINNINGS!!
Scott holds a hand up to his chin, gently stroking the peach fuzz there and thinking.
Scott Hunter: I’ve got it!
Brick Sunset: YOU DO?!?
Scott Hunter: I do! I’ve got it!
Brick Sunset: WELL, WHAT IS IT?!
Scott Hunter: WELL… do you know how we are both from the small fishing village of Miami?
Brick Sunset: I JUST SAID THAT BUT I WILL HUMOR YOU!! YES!
Scott Hunter: I was thinking, since we are from the same village, we can be… THE VILLAGE PEOPLE!!!
Brick relaxes and does what most people would call ‘thinking’, but in Brick comes across more like ‘constipation.’
Brick Sunset: I LIKE IT!! WE HAVE CREATED THE PERFECT NAME FOR A TAG TEAM!!
Scott Hunter: We are super smart, like really really smart.
Just then the door opens and Scott’s personal assistant, Craig Massey walks in.
Craig Massey: Gentlemen, are you just about ready to go out there?
Scott Hunter: Yes Craig, and we have good news. We have come up with the best tag team name in the history of tag team names. It is totally original and has never been heard before by human eardrums.
They step up and stand next to each other in a modified Charlie’s Angels pose.
Scott Hunter & Brick Sunset: THE VILLAGE PEOPLE!!!
Craig stares at them, his mouth agape. After a few moments, Craig squints and rubs his eyes in amazement.
Craig Massey: Guys, I hate to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure that name has already been used. You see, there was this band in the 70s…
Scott Hunter: Oh my God Craig what the hell are you even talking about?? What the heck is a ‘band?’ You can’t just make things up and then pretend like something was thought of before we thought of it first. Anyone who thinks anything knows that when you think of something first you are the first person who thought it and not the other way around.
Brick Sunset: YES AND WE ARE THE ONES WHO JUST THOUGHT THIS THINK AND THEREFORE WE WILL BE THE VILLAGE PEOPLE OR YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!
Craig looks sideways at Brick, who Scott is holding back.
Craig Massey: Why is he yelling?
Scott Hunter: He’s not yelling! You’re yelling! Why are you yelling?!
Craig Massey: He’s definitely yelling.
Scott Hunter: Agree to disagree.
Craig Massey: (sighing) Look, I’m just not so sure it’s a good idea to call yourself…
Just then the door opens and a crew member sticks his head in the room…
Crewman: You guys are up in two minutes.
Brick Sunset throws a thumbs up his way, and smiles. His teeth sparkle.
Scott Hunter: You hear that, Craigory? We’re up. We can discuss this later, and we will speak more on how you made up fake people to make us feel bad about our brand new totally original name. And also, we’ll talk about that shirt you’re wearing, and also, please find me some funyuns. I will be hungry after I twist these random wrestlers’ knees into unsalted pretzel knots.
Craig looks at his young protege’, but says nothing, and just watches as Scott walks out of the room, and Brick Sunset… glides out of the room.
Scott & Brick in Unison: FOR THE VILLAGE!!!!!
VILLAGE PEOPLE VS. BOUCHGARDEN
Tag Team Match
IN THE RING
YOU BETTER BET
The chorus of Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” sounds throughout the arena. The World Heavyweight Champion has arrived. The fans let out a loud cheer as they hear Laura Seton’s theme.
Scott Kamura: She spent 41 minutes in the ring in the final match alone at Iron Will 3. To say she “won the war” against Vito Valentino would be putting things lightly. Tenacious. Gritty. Unrelenting. You name the term of a blue-collar wrestler, Laura likely exemplifies it!
Dutch Harris: Possibly fueled from a quick elimination in the Premier Championship, she did what she had to do, for better or worse, to walk out World Heavyweight Champion for a second time. Her trademark since returning two and a half years ago; she just won’t stay down for anyone! Well–if you believe the dirt sheets, maybe she finally found one person she stays down for…
Scott Kamura: I don’t think that was necessary.
Dutch Harris: Sounded better in my head.
Scott Kamura: Probably should’ve stayed there.
In her red leather jacket, black pants, black boots and blonde hair down, she enters the arena with the big, gold belt over a shoulder and shining brighter than even her smile, she makes her way to the ring. Though she allows a few lucky ringside fans to get a pat of the plate, she quickly climbs the steps and steps into the ring. At mid-ring she poses, belt held high overhead.
Scott Kamura: If there was anyone that ever earned a second reign with this championship, Laura Seton is right up there. One of the best ever!
Her music fades out as she gets a mic and returns the belt to her shoulder.
Laura Seton: They say the first time is the most special. It’s the one you’ll remember forever! The excitement that shoots through you during that time. The passion that flows throughout. Your happiness at an all-time high. And even if you’re fatigued beyond belief, there’s always time for admiration of what just occurred.
The special moment of your life that no one can take away from you.
Shared with, most of the time, someone you care and adore more than anything in this universe.
Your head spins and you just look in awe at everything. You wonder just what you gotta do to top that feeling.
Just how could I top beating Azraith DeMitri?
A handful of fans have a mixed look of surprise and laughter. Laura herself chuckles.
Laura Seton: Oh, I’m sorry. Did you guys think I was talking about a different type of “first time?”
She does lightly blush as many in the audience laugh lightly. She takes a moment before going back to a more serious expression.
Laura Seton: Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I was VERY quiet after Lindsay Troy ended my first SHOOT World Heavyweight Championship reign. Oh yes, I was offered numerous times to come out and speak about it. How I would get it back. What I needed to do; all that.
But I wanted to look at myself.
Because I KNEW if I didn’t work as hard as I have since I returned here—
That I’d have no hope in Hell of holding it again.
I went silent not because I was ashamed or humbled. I did it because I wanted this back…
…
She allows the fans to cut her off with their cheers of her accomplishment.
Laura Seton: And I guess it worked, huh?
A louder cheer as she grins and nods.
Laura Seton: So I begin entering rarefied air, because what… 50 title changes? I’m just the 12th person to repeat? The first female to repeat? I mean–
She smirks and shrugs, speaking right at the camera.
Laura Seton: For someone that was supposed to wash out after two or three years… For someone that was supposed to see her career die in SHOOT over a decade ago? I think I’ve done pretty well.
This time she lets the fans cheer loud and lets it go.
Laura Seton: At the risk of sounding cheesy; I hear it every time I’m in the ring. The amount you guys out there respect me, even if I’m not your favorite. I DO feel the love given. It DOES drive me. I do what I do because I respect you all. I want you to see the best… and I want to be the best!
Will I have the greatest reign ever? I’m not gonna say I’m thinking that, but do I at least want to match my last one?
Fuck yeah!
Will I be disappointed if I fall short of another respectable reign?
Fuck yeah.
I don’t know who’s next in line, just like everyone else. Maybe it’s NC-17—
She’s cut off with a loud round of booing for the HEXXX member.
Laura Seton: Maybe there’s another contender I don’t know about. The line is long and it’s rather deep. There’s a LOT of talent that’s come to SHOOT and it’s as rich as I’ve seen it, and that includes going back to my initial run here. It’s HARD to become SHOOT World Heavyweight Champion. I don’t know that I’d get it back if I lose it again.
…
You better bet I’m holding this as fucking tight as I possibly can.
JOSH CONWAY VS. CICADA
Singles Match
POST MATCH
LET THE HUNT BEGIN
Dutch Harris: Hard fought showing by Josh Conway, but CICADA coming out with a big win here.
Scott Kamura: The focus lately has been on the other member of SWARM, but no one should ever over look the hands and feet of CICADA.
CICADA does not allow his arm to be raised. He drops to both of his knees and faces the SHOOTron, bowing his head and slowing his breathing. As Josh Conway recovers on the mat, the lights…go…out! The SHOOT faithful buzz as a chant begins.
THAT SPOOKY SHIT!
THAT SPOOKY SHIT!
THAT SPOOKY SHIT!
A blue glow emanates from the SHOOTron as the hooded woman known as the Siren appears on the screen. There is a light hum as small figures buzz around the faceless woman covered in blue.
The Siren: SHOOT Project faithful…we have warned you time and time again. The SWARM must feed, the SWARM will feed. Our mission is not over, our setbacks do not define us, and though the next PPV is over a month away…The Hunt begins now…
The crowd buzzes.
Scott Kamura: SWARM has never been shy about announcing their intentions, and it looks like LOCUST losing the Sin City Championship at Iron Will hasn’t slowed their plans at all.
The Siren: We have already made our target known. CICADA knows who he wishes to face. We have spoken directly with the person and we have made a former champion aware of our desires. SWARM has cried havoc, our insect or rebirth and retribution has been set on target, and the dogs of war will be set free.
The screen becomes janky, glitching all over the place, dead pixels appearing, disappearing, and appearing in new places.
The Siren: We…waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
The screen crackles and pops loudly before shutting off. The arena goes completely dark.
Dutch Harris: Man, how do these guys get so much access to our power.
The audience buzzes, a few still chanting “THAT SPOOKY SHIT”, as everyone waits to see what is going to happen. Finally, the lights come back on. The Siren stands in the ring, her face covered in black, clad in blue robes. She places her hand on CICADA, who still faces the entrance ramp. The Siren holds a microphone in her hand. She brings it up to the black veil that hides her face.
The Siren: We want the Premier Champion. We want…The Mighty Garuda.
Moriton is our quarry. Let The Hunt begin.
The crowd pops. CICADA and the Siren are unmoving.
Dutch Harris: So, wait, The Siren isn’t just a computer program? She’s…real? Is that other Max Headroomy guy real too?
Scott Kamura: Dutch…I know as much as you do. I don’t think anyone really understands what is or isn’t real about SWARM.
The camera holds on CICADA and The Siren for a few more moments before fading to black.
ENTRANCE
KINGSLAYER
As the lights go down in the Epicenter Arena, the buzz of the crowd is soon overtaken by buzzing static as the video screens each come to life with an almost unbearable noise blasting through the speakers.
Scott Kamura: Jesus CHRIST That is so annoying!
Dutch Harris: WHAT!? I CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUSE OF THE STAT-
Suddenly, a massive bassline hits and the static screens are replaced by….
“Kingslayer” by Bring Me the Horizon (feat. BABYMETAL) hits the speakers as two massive figures emerge from the back. One clad in a red trench coat and donning a red demon mask while the other is a heavier-set man wearing a black tracksuit over a “HEXXX” t-shirt.
A stoic Kingslayer and confident-looking Lars von Bremmen stand at the top of the rampway as the crowd tells them exactly how they feel about Kingslayer’s prospects this evening.
The pair don’t acknowledge the intense animosity as they slowly, but assuredly remain focused on the ring and HEXXX’s first true shot at donning SHOOT Project gold.
Dutch Harris: I still can’t believe it’s Daihm Ferguson under that mask, Scott. How could someone so innocent go this far to the other side?
Scott Kumura: You already know the answer to that, Dutch, but like it or not- wait! Who is that coming down the rampway? Is.. that Chick Grillbreast!?
Dutch Harris: No, Scott, it’s four Thanksgiving turkeys held together by a roasted hog. Of COURSE it’s Chick Grillbreast. He’s here to try and make things right with Daihm!
Scott Kumura: Or take out Lars for what happened at Iron Will.
Dutch Harris: Po-tay-to Po-tah-to
Sure enough, Chick Grillbreast is running down the rampway at full speed as the crowd erupts and causes both Kingslayer and Lars von Bremmen to turn away from the ring and towards Chick. You know it’s serious because Chick is doing cardio.
Chick Grillbreast: DAN! DAN DRAGON! WE HAVE TO TALK!!
Kingslayer looks back toward the ring and then at Chick. He begins to step forward but is immediately held back by Lars, who moves in front of his HEXXX colleague. Boos rain down as Chick tries to look over Lars’ shoulder.
Lars von Bremen: Where do you think you’re going, meatwad?
Chick Grillbreast: SHUT UP, NERD! I NEED TO TALK TO DAN DRAGON, AND YOU’RE STOPPING ME! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?
Lars von Bremen: It’s HEXXX, thickness. And nothing’s being pulled except your summer sausage thinking about Kingslayer.
Chick Grillbreast: His name is-
Lars von Bremen: KINGSLAYER! Get in the ring. You’ve got a title to win. I’ll take care of this… interruption.
KINGSLAYER VS. MORITON (c)
PREMIER CHAMPIONSHIP
Singles Match
Scott Kamura: This has been a knock-down, drag-out fight here tonight, Dutch! I may be out of line here saying this but maybe HEXXX was GOOD for Daihm Ferguson.
Dutch Harris: HEXXX isn’t good for anyone but Ayumi Seppuku. She’s gaslighting him and when he’s worn out his usefulness she’ll toss him aside just like she did Lindsay Troy.
Scott Kamura: That is NOT how that happ- Oh crap. This isn’t good!
Kingslayer shakes his head, recoiling from some quick strikes landed by Moriton that have shattered part of his mask. Pieces begin to crumble onto the mat and we see cold blue eyes peering back at Moriton out of one side of the mask.
Immediately Kingslayer reaches up to where the missing piece of the mask is and touches his face. He begins to drop to the mat and look for the broken shards!
Dutch Harris: Kingslayer’s a sitting duck!
Moriton sizes up his opponent, walking backwards and preparing for a killing blow UNTIL LARS JUMPS UP ON THE ROPES!
The Premier Champion flails as Lars reaches over the ropes and grabs Mortion around the neck, trying to buy time for his partner to recover.
Lars von Bremen: Dammit. KINGSLAYER! COME ON! I’ve got him! Finish this!
Dutch Harris: This is insane, Scott! Moriton is tired from the fight so he’s finding it hard to break from Lars’ grasp but Kingslayer may be mentally gone.
Scott Kamura: It’s break out of it versus snap out of it!
Dutch Harris: Scott, I think Lars may have company!
Chick Grillbreast is back on the scene and he quickly closes the distance between himself and Lars, running forward like a steer at a bullfight and SLAMS directly into the gut of Lars, sending him toppling to the ground – releasing his hold on Moriton!
The Premier Champion yanks himself forward, looking FURIOUSLY at Lars but sees Chick is already in pursuit.
Chick Grillbreast: DAIHM DOES NOT CHEAT! DAIHM FIGHTS WITH HONOR!
Moriton quickly looks back to Kingslayer who is holding pieces of his mask in his hand, slowly standing up from the mat. In a snap decision, the Premier Champion locks on to Kingslayer, launching himself off the ropes and bolting forward at full speed.
Kingslayer reaches a standing position JUST in time for Moriton to wrap his arms around his shoulders and lift him up off the mat and pieces of Kingslayer’s mask go flying into the air.
Scott Kamura: Chingisiin Yalalt! Chingisiin Yalalt! Moriton hits his finisher to a completely unaware Kingslayer!
Kingslayer hits the mat HARD and Moriton doesn’t waste time lifting the leg.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!
Scott Kamura: The Premier Champion retains, Dutch! What a finale!
Dutch Harris: It was a wild one, Scott, but I don’t think it’s over yet! Moriton is NOT happy about Lars von Bremen’s interference.
Moriton slides out of the ring, leaving a prone Kingslayer on the mat, as he circles the side of the apron to make his way over to Lars who is exchanging blows with Chick Grillbreast!
The pair are locked together but Chick sees Moriton approaching over Lars’ shoulder and shoves him directly into the waiting arms of the Premier Champion WHO HITS ANOTHER CHINGISIIN YALALT ONTO THE CONCRETE!
Chick looks down at Lars as Moriton stands up and spits on the ground next to the HEXXX fighter before turning his back and leaving. With Lars down and out, Chick turns his attention to the ring and immediately slides in to check on his friend.
Chick Grillbreast: DAIHM! DAIHM!
The fighter approaches as Kingslayer finally begins to stir, struggling to push himself up off the mat until finally he manages to reach his feet and brace himself on the ring ropes, facing out into the crowd.
Dutch Harris: This is it, Scott! No Lars! No Ayumi! No one to interrupt this poignant reunion! Go for it, Chick!
Chick reaches out to place a hand on Kingslayer’s shoulder and IS IMMEDIATELY LAID OUT WITH A MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE! The fighter goes FLYING, tumbling in the air with what must have been the force of a semi truck and lands face first onto the mat – unconscious.
Scott Kamura: NO!
Dutch Harris: Ohgodhesdead.
The crowd is FURIOUS as Kingslayer looks down at Chick and then turns back to see Moriton at the top of the rampway, looking back at the carnage in the ring, shaking his head as he turns and exits to the back. Kingslayer reaches up to his head, again touching the empty space where part of the mask used to be.
Dutch Harris: Oh god. He’s got that look again! What’s he going to do now?
The red-clad HEXXX member reaches up and begins to undo his mask as the crowd goes from boos to cheers, not sure what is about to happen. But what happens is Lars von Bremen! The other HEXXX member slides into the ring, holding his back as he completely ignores Chick and grabs Kingslayer’s shoulders, his mask fully off now and the face so many know as Daihm Ferguson looking confused and… scared?
Lars von Bremen: Hey! Hey! Kingslayer! Snap out of it!
Kingslayer turns to look at Lars. The pair stand in the ring for another couple seconds, Lars leaning in and whispering something in Kingslayers ear that causes the red beast to begin to put his mask back on! Once it’s secure, Lars lightly shoves Kingslayer towards the ropes and out of the ring, guiding him up the rampway and to the back.
Scott Kamura: I don’t know what just happened, Dutch, but if Chick isn’t dead in the ring right now he may soon wish he was after what HEXXX may do to him.
The final shot we see is a close up of an unconscious Chick Grillbreast laid out on the mat as EMTs begin to swarm to the ring.